A cruise for someone who hates cruises

[Spampas]

OK - I know I sound like a total snob here, but we all have different preferences. Each to their own etc.

Many years ago I went on a P&O cruise. HUGE ship rammed to the gills with thousands of people. Casinos everywhere. Food, food, food, food, food. Booze, booze, booze. Swirly carpets. Bling and showy. Shit entertainment from yesteryear. Hated it.

Maybe it's changed since then but the experience I had put me off big time, especially at the price of it. But I like the idea of cruising. I want something smaller, I am interested in more cultural / intellectual stuff. Not into the bling and the lights. Does such a thing exist?

Yes op it exists

just do the most basic of googling

River cruises fit the bill.

We did a river cruise and visited several countries along the Danube, that was fab. Great food, entertainment, the places were visited were all interesting and there were only a couple of hundred passengers on board.

So unhelpful. Classic snarky mumsnet response. The OP is hoping to be able to learn from personal experiences in exactly the way mumsnet works best. Hope you get some good recommendations, OP.

Maybe a river cruise?

Look up reviews of different cruise lines. my Ddad and his partner like Cunard because I think it’s a little more refined whereas as a family with teens we like a big, blingy Royal Caribbean! There is something for everyone if you do your research.

Hurtigruten - we went from Bergen to Kirkenes. No evening shows, no casino. Amazing scenery, gorgeous food and incredibly comfy cabins.

We went on a Nile cruise a few years ago, from Luxor to Aswan, stopping at several temples & other historic sites, with tours by extremely knowledgeable guides. It was very interesting, the Nile was lovely and peaceful, there wasn’t a lot of bling, and what there was was easy to avoid, though I think they did have swirly carpets, if that’s a deal breaker.
Edited to add link to the company we went with
https://www.orbitaltravel.co.uk/cruises/nile-river-cruises

Another shout for Hurtigruten. They are cargo ships/passenger ferries which also have spaces for ‘cruise’ passengers. They take on local, fresh food when they stop, so the food is excellent, and there are optional activities such as snowmobiling or snow walking. Nothing like the traditional idea of a cruise.

I went for my 50th with my late wife and am seriously considering going by myself.

We had our first Nile cruise with them.
We tried to book again a few years later, & they wanted payment by Bank Transfer - so NOT recommended.

Have a look at Alexander the Great through Discover Egypt and Jordan. Lovely food, small (30 cabins), lots of history to see with minimal travel from the boat. See history in the mornings, cruise to next stop in the afternoons, while laying by the pool. It's not the fastest, or most glam, but we did it with our older teenagers last year to tick it off my bucket list. I knew I loved Egypt - but wow! I can't get it to link, but a quick Google of the cruise name should do it.

Smaller ships like Fred Olsen.

Ooops! A repeat of ideas (it really was that good). We used travel counsellors, and had 3 nights in Cairo first ❤

Interesting- our cruise was in 2018, but I don’t know how they were paid, as we went with DH’s sister and she paid the company & we sent her our share.

Fjords or Alaska.

Fred Olsen is good but most people are 65+ so it depends how old you are.

You need to work out if you’re destination driven or facilities driven. The bigger the ship the more facilities, bells and whistles there are onboard but the ships can only get into the bigger modern ports. A smaller ship will have fewer facilities on board but can get to those older, smaller and more unusual ports. All cruise lines have smaller ships as well as the big behemoths. It sounds like you chose the wrong ship. I also don’t like the huge ships. It’s worth checking out the smaller end of the scale ship wise. As someone said upthread, try a river cruise. I’m doing my first river cruise next Spring and was pleasantly surprised to note that the max passengers was 300. Obviously the boat is smaller but I’m interested to see how it all works out

we cruised on a 200 passenger ship recently. No casino, really laid back scandi decor - no bling - great food. That was Swan Hellenic, who do
mostly specialist itineraries to cold places - but there are others of this size

On YouTube there is a guy 'Tips for Travellers' who covers all the lines from huge ships to smaller 'ultra luxury'. He prefers the smaller ships with enrichment talks and smaller entertainment. Interesting to watch even though I don't want to go on a cruise! You'll probably find what you are looking for in his content - he pays for his cruises so is honest both good and bad.

I used to sail on the bigger ships. Now sail on Azamara. Max of 700 passengers. Heaven!

Some beautiful river cruises advertised all over Europe or why not try a canal boat holiday.

What you described as a cruise, is why I would hate doing one.
Looking at the size of them and their adverts, was enough.
The thought of being around people, who I cannot stand and unable to avoid them for 7 or 14 days, being another factor..
Why is it that because you have kids of your own, people expect theirs are safe playing with yours, while they disappear to the bar, or worse go shopping or back to their room for a kip?.

I work in the cruise industry and there are a a range of cruise lines out there that are smaller ships.
The first one I thought of when I read your post was Explora Journeys, I was onboard in July and they have a different feel altogether. They are more like a luxury hotel at sea with a focus of wellness. They operate with just over 900 passengers but there are so many spaces it doesn't feel busy or crowded. The food onboard is great, everything from a buffet to speciality dining and room service.

I don't know what your budget is but you might want to look at lines such as Silversea, Regent Seven Seas, Seabourn, Oceania or Crystal or Ponant.

If you are looking for something more adventurous then you can do expedition cruising, smaller ships again anything from 190 passengers to roughly 400ish.

Then you have the option of river cruising, small ships again and more like a city break on the water. The only thing is, the space is obviously much smaller and so dining can feel busy as there's not a choice of restaurants the same as ocean liners.

I suppose it depends on what you are looking for in terms of the ship, destination and budget.

Happy for you to DM me xx

*Edited to say I have been on Uniworld (river) Silversea, Crystal, Explora, Ponant and also Virgin Voyages (they are not what you are interested in!)

Swan Hellenic are excellent at what they offer xx

This lady has a great blog and YouTube channel which might help

https://emmacruises.com/recommended-cruise-lines/

But off the top of my head I'd say look at Princess, Cunard and Viking

Antarctica. But £. Also loads of cultural cruises.

I'm so glad you posted this. We went from Luxor to Aswan with Titan Travel a couple of years ago, and I've been looking for a cruise between Cairo and Luxor!!

(Although just seen the follow up post about the money. Will do some further investigation)