Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Original poster

Dad leaving children unattended abroad

59 replies

Ms2 · 02/09/2025 20:45

I need to know if i am overreacting before i take this any further…

my ex (been split for 5+ years) has taken our children abroad to Turkey with his partner- which I have absolutely no issues with whatsoever.

I received a phone-call at work from my 9 yr old daughter to say her and her 10 year old brother had made a friend by the pool that they were playing with when this friend started kicking her.
I asked if she had told her dad as I am in England so cannot do anything and her reply was ‘no they’ve both gone to bed as they are tired’ and said she didn’t want to wake him as he would be annoyed that she had woken him.

I am absolutely out of my mind that he would leave our children unattended in a foreign country so that him and his partner could go to sleep and put their ‘tiredness’ before our children’s safety. Also they were waiting for them to wake so they could have dinner.

I can’t concentrate at work, struggling to eat and my heart is physically hurting for them and just want them back with me but that won’t be until Friday.

could anyone please give me some advice as to what I can do going forward as they have his surname but I need to know that my babies are safe whilst they are in another country with the man that is supposed to protect them before he protects himself?? I obviously don’t want them going away with him again until i can be assured this wont happen again.

Thanks in advance from one anxious and heartbroken momma x

OP posts:
chunkybear · 04/09/2025 05:55

Aged 9-10 means they’re expecting other adults to look out for your children, completely inappropriate and unlikely to happen. It’s also an easy age to lure away should anyone be watching for an opportunity to abduct … not sure if this is an issue in Turkey generally speaking

converseandjeans · 04/09/2025 07:42

dunroamingfornow · 03/09/2025 07:03

He’s not sleeping. What kind of parent puts a holiday shag above their children’s safety. I’d be fuming. I’d be phoning the hotel to report that your children had called you in England to say they couldn’t find their dad. Also I would be phoning him to interrupt his “nap”.

Agree with this - they are likely not sleeping & DD called you as she didn’t know what to do when she felt uncomfortable. Get the hotel to ‘wake’ him up with a call to the room.

itsgettingweird · 04/09/2025 07:49

I would encourage your DD to mention this at school so they raise it as a safeguarding concern.

You can also contact SS yourself and ask for advice.

It’s not as easy as you refusing to allow him if there’s a court order in place but I would certainly be looking into how I could prevent this happening again and for that you’ll need professionals agreeing it’s unsafe.

PermanentTemporary · 04/09/2025 10:57

I dropped off my son aged 8 at the pool to go in on his own. I don’t see how this is so different, all the more as there are two of them to help each other. I think the reactions on here are bizarre. So what if they were having sex? Also normal and actually safer than if they were sleeping.

99bottlesofkombucha · 04/09/2025 22:26

PermanentTemporary · 04/09/2025 10:57

I dropped off my son aged 8 at the pool to go in on his own. I don’t see how this is so different, all the more as there are two of them to help each other. I think the reactions on here are bizarre. So what if they were having sex? Also normal and actually safer than if they were sleeping.

There is no pool in my city of over 4m people that would let your 8yo in without a parent. And I don’t know a single parent who wouldn’t consider your sending them in on their own negligence.

Anon501178 · 04/09/2025 22:33

What sort of parent does that....jeez.They are no way young enough to be left alone like that especially abroad! And the fact he told them not to wake them and they were fearful of his reaction is concerning too, plus that he was leaving them hungry.
Sounds like he is prioritising the partner....wouldn't be suprised if they were doing more than just 'sleeping'
I wouldn't ever let him take them on holiday again! Surely he hasn't been the model parent up until this though? Have there not been other issues?

whatcanthematterbe81 · 04/09/2025 22:34

PermanentTemporary · 04/09/2025 10:57

I dropped off my son aged 8 at the pool to go in on his own. I don’t see how this is so different, all the more as there are two of them to help each other. I think the reactions on here are bizarre. So what if they were having sex? Also normal and actually safer than if they were sleeping.

lol. Sure

Original poster
Ms2 · 17/09/2025 22:18

Yes theres a hell of a lot more, apologies ive not responded i was overwhelmed by the responses as i thought i was over reacting going off of previous issues ive confronted him about and been called crazy and weird.

OP posts:
Bunnycat101 · 17/09/2025 23:03

At 9-10 I think it is reasonable to allow a bit more independence. In the context of a holiday resort that might be going to a playground or walking to get an icecream independently. What he did was leave them to their own devices around a pool for an extended period of time with the impression they couldn’t contact him for support. That is just being neglectful and I’m normally in the ‘give them independence’ camp.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread