Relaxing holiday with toddler - is it even possible?!?

[Bearlionfalcon]

Our holiday experience this year has made me conclude it’s not physically possible to have a relaxing holiday with a child under three. Am I wrong?!

We shelled out a painful amount of ££ this year for a holiday in Ikos Odisia (all inclusive luxury family friendly resort). The resort is brilliant - older DD1 (8) and DD2 (5) couldn’t have been happier, off to kids club every day etc etc. if we just had them it would have been great. But because we have DS3 (17 months) it wasn’t at all relaxing for DH and I - he wouldn’t go to the crèche and we spent the whole holiday jumping up to try and stop him falling over, climbing on something or drowning himself in the pool, beach or various water features. And even though the buffet and restaurants were great and we never had to cook the whole time we were there, that didn’t stop him jumping out of the high chair, throwing food, making a massive mess, spiting it all down himself. It’s just been relentless!

I obviously know we signed up for this by having a third and going to the start again! - but I am wondering what we do next year. I think if we can’t even have a relaxing time at IKOS which is designed to make life easy for you families then we should probably give up on holidays until he is bigger or at least not spend much money on them?!

But DH thinks actually IKOS is not actually an optimal holiday for DS3 and that for all the ‘child friendliness’ a pool and beach holiday is not a good setup with a toddler - he is very hot, you have to watch him all the time as water is everywhere and nowhere is safe, and there’s nowhere like an air conditioned soft play sort of thing which we could use in the heat of the day (only a crèche where parents can’t do in, which he will not entertain!)

DH thinks we should go to one of those child friendly alpine hotels with lots of facilities and sports for kids - he thinks grassy play areas and indoor/ outdoor playgrounds and somewhere not too hot is better for a baby.

Has anyone tried those - or had any success with a toddler on holiday anywhere?! He will be 2 and a half next summer. And it needs to be somewhere with something for older DDs who will be 9 and 6 although they’re easy to please really. Suggestions very welcome!

Next year should be better as a year older but it's true about the heat. We did butlins a lot at those ages. Not exactly luxe(!) but all the kids were happy and you haven't paid a fortune to get more stressed. I had friends who went to a kinderhotel and loved it.

I think the sort of setup you describe is family friendly but not necessarily baby / toddler friendly. We’re off to center parcs today. It’s predictable and enjoyable and there’s a lot there that just makes life easier. I can see the sort of thing your DH suggests being good for a two and a half year old though. My DD will have just turned three next summer and we might attempt to go abroad for the first time then since having DS at the end of 2020!

Yeah we went camping at that age. It’s not catered but you’re still running around after the LO’s and you haven’t spent a fortune. Under 3 it’s just childcare in a different location.

Centreparks, euro camps or there are some all inclusive hotels that have soft plays if you have a google. One not yet built called HD Lobos Natura in Fuerteventura due to open in 2026 and a few more. I haven’t heard of the alpine hotels but they sound good. Another good holiday is if you have friends to go with that have a child of the same age. They can entertain each other and might go into the kids club if they are with a friend.

Thanks for all these great suggestions - @Blinkingmarvellous i really hope you’re right about next year being easier - this year he is just an absolute agent of carnage careering off in any direction and constantly at risk of ending up face down in water ….(!) I have heard good things about butlins and think the DDs would love, and I’ll google kinderhotel! @biscuitsandabreak you’re so right about family friendly but not toddler friendly! I do really like Center P - as you say predictable and enjoyable- but not sure I’d want a whole summer week there, maybe shorter breaks in the UK is the way forward!

@YoungSoak really great suggestions thank you, I’ve looked at eurocamp, are there any particular locations you’ve personally tried or heard of that might suit a 2.5 year old?

Just keep it simple. There’s time to come back to expensive overseas holidays when they will remember and appreciate it. We didn’t take ours’ overseas at that age as I could’t even bear the thought of tackling an airport. A few friends thought we were a bit pathetic, but I couldn’t care less.

We went for self catering cottages in the countryside not too far away from home (mostly Norfolk.) Yes, there was still cooking and washing up but we have lovely memories of slow days at the beach, country walks and little museums and wildlife parks.

Ours’ are teens now and we’ve travelled to lots of far flung, adventurous places (Namibia and Western Australia this year.) But some of my happiest memories are of toddlers paddling on Northumbrian beaches and going on ladybird hunts in the woods.

This is why we haven't bothered with abroad holidays until now (DD is almost three and a half). We're flying today so ask me again in a week if it was a good idea 😅

We’ve taken DS to an ikos resort each year so at 11 mths 23 mths and 35 mths so far and loved it in contrast to another holiday we tried slightly earlier this year which was awful as there just wasn’t enough to do and we were tearing our hair out by the end. I think the difference is that we only have 1 child and we weren’t expecting to be able to sit and relax while DS was awake - we took him swimming - all got in together then once he’d had enough it was back to the room to get changed and then do something else so playground, wander round the grounds, wander out to the local marina etc. We had our sit down (on the balcony in our room) across lunchtime while he was asleep and then afternoons were more of the same. There is nothing more tiring than being in an environment that doesn’t suit you. He’ll be older next year but maybe you need to reassess what you need or expect from a holiday before deciding where to go.

DD was 4 when she went abroad for the first time. No way would I have gone earlier - same shit, different place!

I think it depends on your expectations and your toddler. My daughter is the same age and we’ve had some lovely holidays and trips this year- not relaxing whatsoever but still amazing in their own way and we had no expectation of it being relaxing so no disappointment!😂

i also did Butlins at younger ages. Or they are older I’m happy to go abroad and spend ££.

I took ds to Butlins at that age, we had a ball…cheap and cheerful. I think with toddlers you have to accept that somebody will be following them round clearing up the chaos pretty much all of the time they’re awake. Accepting this and planning accordingly helps you feel less disappointed at the end of the holiday.

By next year he will probably be better, calmer, more able to follow instructions but also the tantrums will be in full flow.

I think it is the expectation that you will relax by doing things you would normally do in a luxury beach resort (sunbathing, snoozing, reading etc) which are just impossible with toddlers. So it takes all the joy from it and ends up being more stressful and exhausting than just being at home where you know the lay of the land.

Like @SorciereDesMemises says, put that on hold for now and come back when your toddler is older. When my DC were little we did very unglamorous holidays but they were magical looking back. Northern Europe so cooler, places like the Netherlands where you can strap them into a cargo bike and enjoy cycling as an adult, big big beaches with very shallow tides where they can run/toddle for miles and not hit water etc.

We also kept it simple when they were tiny, camping or caravan UK trips. It’s very much same shit different location when they’re so small. We also tended to do long weekends or day trips more.

we went on a more adventure style holiday with our 3 year old and it was brill. Relaxing? No, not possible.

When dd was younger dh and I took it in turns to look after her (in 45 minutes/hour chunks) and the other would go and find somewhere quiet to relax/ swim. We’d do this once in morning and once in afternoon then she would nap for a few hours so we’d relax then.

We spent all of our summers doing euro camps, air con caravans 2 weeks, loads to do for older kids, nice sunny weather in France and 2-3k spend.

We went to Blue Waters in Antigua for a friends wedding when DS was 19m and it was great, I don’t think kids clubs and mini discos
matter at that age but having a nice pool to bob about it helped a lot and a safe beach plus being with someone else in the same position- strength in numbers! We did 3 adults watching 2 toddlers and alternated which adult got a break.

TUI Blue and Sensatori do baby/toddler Classes you can stay with your child for, that might be more suitable? They use UK qualified childcare staff too.

At 2.5 we did South Africa with DS including a game reserve, we had a great time. A more active holiday might be easier as there’s no expectation to relax.

We only did UK holidays until our two were school age, and even then it was a case of "same shit plus uncomfortable bed." I'm generally of the opinion that as a parent holidays aren't fun until the kids have left home. 😅

It’s literally parenting a toddler in a different location to home which is worse to me as you know where the risks/dangers etc are at home. We’ve been abroad every year since DD was born, Portugal at 4 months old with friends and kids and hired a villa and Spain last year when DD was just one at an all inclusive family hotel with different friends and their kids of similar ages to ours, definitely not relaxing. I’m 38 weeks pregnant with DS and we’re going to Spain again next year with the same friends to a different hotel but same kind of thing and fully expecting it to be hell with a 3 year old and 9 month old but the kids love being together for a week and it’s a change of scenery. I think you just have to lower your expectations if you go abroad on these types of holidays with young kids. We do it because we enjoy spending a week with our friends and all the kids, we all muck in together kind of thing but I definitely wouldn’t bother booking luxury hotels at this age. We used to holiday in Caribbean adults only, America etc and lay on beaches for 2 weeks reading and drinking cocktails (how times have changed) ha and I do mourn those holidays but tell be back before I know it and I’ll miss having littles.

Relaxing, no chance. But you can still enjoy it.

For next year, I'd assume at 2.5 he'll be better behaved with food but still an agent of chaos around a pool. Like others, we did UK Butlins style holidays at that age. Your older ones are still of an age where they'd likely enjoy that.

I don’t think it’s possible. Sympathies, I found it took a few years to accept holidays would not be the same again, for a long long time. Once they are older you can snatch a weekend away by yourself or with partner for relaxation. The best you can get with kids under 5 is something easy with lots for them to do, and as many adults to share the load as you can rope in, so that you can at least get some ‘shifts’ off. God sorry for being such a doomsayer 😆

I think you’re right @passmeaglass @Mrsttcno1 @Tootingbec that its probably a question of expectations! We actually had two years of super lovely and quite relaxing pool and beach holidays when DDs were 3 and 5 and then when they were 4 and 6 and DS was newborn (he just fed or slept in my arms in a lounger in the shade!) I think I’d forgotten the intensity of the early toddler years. When the girls were this age we just did UK/ Cornwall type breaks, I have very happy memories of course, but it was hard work with all the loading up the car, laundry, cooking and cleaning. It did sort of just feel like the same shit in a different location! I guess I just wondered if there was another way with toddlers/ somewhere that didn’t feel like that - maybe there isn’t!

@Twilightstarbright thats exactly what DH thinks - that a relaxing holiday is a waste of time as it’s boring for older DDs to be around a pool and there isn’t any real opportunity for relaxation so what’s the point- better to do an active sort of holiday where there’s no expectation of relaxation! Thanks for the tip about Tui as well, I’ll look into that

@Edenmum2 can I ask what the adventure style holiday was that you enjoyed with your 3 year old?