Relaxing holiday with toddler - is it even possible?!?

[Bearlionfalcon]

Our holiday experience this year has made me conclude it’s not physically possible to have a relaxing holiday with a child under three. Am I wrong?!

We shelled out a painful amount of ££ this year for a holiday in Ikos Odisia (all inclusive luxury family friendly resort). The resort is brilliant - older DD1 (8) and DD2 (5) couldn’t have been happier, off to kids club every day etc etc. if we just had them it would have been great. But because we have DS3 (17 months) it wasn’t at all relaxing for DH and I - he wouldn’t go to the crèche and we spent the whole holiday jumping up to try and stop him falling over, climbing on something or drowning himself in the pool, beach or various water features. And even though the buffet and restaurants were great and we never had to cook the whole time we were there, that didn’t stop him jumping out of the high chair, throwing food, making a massive mess, spiting it all down himself. It’s just been relentless!

I obviously know we signed up for this by having a third and going to the start again! - but I am wondering what we do next year. I think if we can’t even have a relaxing time at IKOS which is designed to make life easy for you families then we should probably give up on holidays until he is bigger or at least not spend much money on them?!

But DH thinks actually IKOS is not actually an optimal holiday for DS3 and that for all the ‘child friendliness’ a pool and beach holiday is not a good setup with a toddler - he is very hot, you have to watch him all the time as water is everywhere and nowhere is safe, and there’s nowhere like an air conditioned soft play sort of thing which we could use in the heat of the day (only a crèche where parents can’t do in, which he will not entertain!)

DH thinks we should go to one of those child friendly alpine hotels with lots of facilities and sports for kids - he thinks grassy play areas and indoor/ outdoor playgrounds and somewhere not too hot is better for a baby.

Has anyone tried those - or had any success with a toddler on holiday anywhere?! He will be 2 and a half next summer. And it needs to be somewhere with something for older DDs who will be 9 and 6 although they’re easy to please really. Suggestions very welcome!

The only way to have a relaxing holiday with a toddler is to take grandparents or other family members willing to do childcare with you.

You can have different shit in a different location, as an alternative!

I don't know that there's a way round the loading, but Butlin's and a few other places in the UK do all inclusive, so that could at least deal with the cooking? I would think a 2.5 year old would be better at sitting slightly longer and less likely to be cobbing food around, so the communal dining aspect might be more tolerable.

Depends on your idea of 'relaxation'. It obviously isn't possible if you want to be on a sun-lounger all day, every day.

Young children need activity. We used to take ours camping every year when they were young. Both enjoyed doing a lot of activity and sport. Neither of us were ever great at just sitting on a sunbed all day and reading etc.. So the days would be spent with our children surfing, cycling, hiking, swimming etc. and in the evenings we would all go to the campsite bar or restaurant. Camping allows them a lot of freedom as they get a bit older they can go off and play onsite.

A good friend of mine and her husband have always enjoyed sunbathing for a week on holiday so have always booked their child into the hotel kids club, or they go alone with friends and one parents stays at home to look after the child.

I did enjoy sun-lounger holidays as a teenager with my parents, though.

The best toddler holidays were had were self catering in a villa with a pool which is gated in some way. The fact you can spread out, wash your clothes, eat what you want when you want, make noise, be away from irritating people etc is perfect for families (we think). You can still eat out - you can go out late morning, have lunch out, return mid afternoon, nap, play at home/pool then have a simple tea or a BBQ or salad. When DC are in bed you have the whole house to yourself, watch TV, listen to music, have a grown ups dinner, shag on the couch, whatever. When DC outgrow naps you can stay out longer. Or just hang out at 'home'. Sure you dont have kids clubs, but don't you want to play with your DC? The hassle you speak of is what having kids is like - if there are 2 of you, surely you share out toddler entertainment?

We took the kids to the alps when toddler stage (still do now they are young adults!). We did active things in the morning. Swam in the lake/walked etc. It was never horrendous as some on this thread have suggested. I always enjoyed holidays with them - but it was different. One of us was on alert, The temperature was never problematic.

Mark Warner or Nielson with DC of those ages. A proper holiday for everyone

Why don’t you take turns to relax? I don’t relax in holiday (except for break from cooking) but I do all the child care, if I had another adult equally in charge of my toddler I’d be laughing

@Bearlionfalcon. You need to look at La Garangoire in the Vendee. It would still be hard work with a tiny one but that is the case anywhere at that age.

We had fantastic holidays with toddlers at Kinderhotels. Your DH is right! It's rarely boiling hot, there are playgrounds and brilliant kids clubs with soft play/toys/inflatables/play houses to entertain them, and you can engage with swimming pools when you want. They'd also be good for your older children. The kids clubs tend to have so much going on, including toddler activities, that they get really into them, and we managed a bit of time alone when we were there too. As everyone in the hotel has kids with them, it feels a lot less stressful when they do act out too, including very tolerant staff. We found that the central European attitude is very much that parents deserve some time out too so no guilt about using the kids clubs and heading to the spa or out for a walk.

ETA you also get the restful bit of the holiday - waited on hand and foot with great adult food and hotel rooms laid out as suites with separate kids rooms.

Scott Dunn. The best kids clubs and also care for the younger ones. I used them loads when DD16 was younger, as a lone parent I needed downtime and she had a blast.

We go to Sani/Ikos but have always gone when they're under 1 and then again over 2.5. 17 months is the PITS

Beach holidays are rarely relaxing with dc. We did road trips, far easier because I saw things I wanted to see and dc got to experience different things and always stayed in hotels with pools open in the late afternoon

Just wanted to say, we just did centerparcs in Belgium, really close to the beach and they have a lot more going on such as kids entertainment in the evening, and a huge softplay. So as adults we still had that lovely “gone abroad” feeling but lots going on for the kids too. And was a great base to go off and explore or stay there all day. Would really recommend it. We liked UK centerparcs but this was way better x

Kids clubs vary but the more expensive resorts have private nanny services. So they can look after them whenever for you be that in club or your villa, beach etc, including taking them to eat and bed time

For a less expensive option a Kinderhotel often has up to 12 hours of childcare included in the price, including taking them to meals, should you want that! (It’s a little bit much for most of us…)

Where did you go when your oldest ones where little?

I think when they are wobblers, it's the toughest age to travel, it's fonna get easier. I would plus Central Parks for now and beach holidays with no swimming pool/wanter slides. We went on hols to Mallorca at 11 months with just one baba and haven't been since then as we haven't enjoyed it. What we did enjoy was staying in Ireland on local hotel with softplay.

Now, I was told that the best age to start doing city breaks with toddler is just before 3 and indeed we enjoyed our trip to Helsinki and than Finnish countryside, just now at 2 years 10 months.

Haha, as my hb was saying, the best holiday for me is if someone come and clean the floor while we are having breakfast😃😃😃

You’re probably better off with a more active holiday. It’s impossible for both of you to relax at the same time whilst trying to stop a tiny from falling in the pool. If it was just him I’d say knock the expensive foreign holidays on the head for a few years until he’s old enough to get something out of them, but you also have the older dds who are a good age.

maybe something like the kinder hotels or European centre parks may suit. It’s only a few years and then you’ll all be able to enjoy more relaxing holidays together.

It still won’t be relaxing as such thing does not exist with a toddler as you have (re)discovered but yes, I’ve done lots of the alpine family/kinder hotels in summer and winter with mine (now nearly 3 and nearly 5) since the second was 6 weeks old! Tbh you still have to watch them like a hawk, they do offer a lot of free childcare from newborns onwards but mine were crèche refusers too so that part was wasted. Overall I’d say it’s similar to the Ikos experience but maybe more varied as you can do hikes (well at 2.5 they will be too heavy for a backpack so maybe walks not actual hikes), outdoor play in the farm/fields/playground, animals, messy play, pools in the afternoon etc. The buffet/eating there is a similar shitshow to what you’ve described tbh but at least everyone there has kids so if it’s not your kid throwing a tantrum or their food someone else’s will be. Both annoying and comforting at the same time. Anyway, with expectations managed we’ve had a great time, we’ve been to Sonnwies in the Dolomites and Moargut in Austria, they are all similar in terms of set up and activities and I think there would be enough to do for your older kids, the prime age is probably 3 - 8 to make the most of the activities.

We did Duinrell in the Netherlands last year with ages 4 and 8. It’s camping but doesn’t have to be in a caravan - if you have an Ikos budget you could go for a Duingalow or similar. You can book direct (includes swimming but less flexible times) or via Eurocamp (pay to swim). The swimming is a bit of a thing here as it’s a water park complex and you need to understand how it works.

But there is a theme park with playgrounds, ball pit and soft play which would work for the 2.5 year old, and nice areas for him to explore, as well as rides for the older girls, and the pool for everyone. You could eat out in the nearby town in the evenings or do simple self catering meals. Lots of day trip options too.

If a theme park isn’t your thing, I would still encourage you to look at Eurocamp in the Netherlands as it’s not too hot and they have a huge range of sites - I want to try Beekse Bergen, which is on a safari park. It’s also a very easy journey from the U.K. with nowhere more than about 2 hours from Hook of Holland if you get a ferry from the U.K.

In reality if your child refuses to go to any kind of childcare there’s a limit on how relaxing any holiday is going to be, and there isn’t much point in shelling out extra for places with snazzy childcare - especially as your older 2 don’t need so much looking after now and your eldest will be outgrowing most kids’ clubs soon anyway (IME).

The exception might be something like Mark Warner where it’s all English speaking, run a bit like a British nursery etc and so he might be happier to go there ?? And the older kids’ clubs are really good and will still engage your eldest unlike many. However - heat could still be an issue, especially if your youngest won’t go to childcare, as that’s where the air conditioning is.

I think it’s probably about finding something to keep the older ones entertained, then you and DH taking turns and getting your rest that way.

You absolutely want a kinderhotel. We've been to many. Most of them have professional childcare included, some even for almost newborns. The food is usually excellent, the locations and facilities beautiful and the kids love them.

It's bliss. Kids off having a ball at the kids clubs while you go off to the adults only sections. All equipment included for the little ones incl prams and hiking back packs.

They are such a better holiday with tiny kids than most resorts are. And the value for money is excellent.

And the kids club activities for children the age of your older two are brilliant. I think if you've only experienced a standard hotel kids club you can't really imagine. Ours have had spa days, made mocktails with the bartenders, spent all week rehearsing and then putting on a show in a theatre, ridden horses, made endless things in arts and crafts sessions, gone on day trips to Go-Ape type stuff or dry toboggans, or just run about the grounds making up their own games in a gang or played at raft building around the pond. At dinner time my kids bolted a buffet and then raced off for a disco/murder in the dark/games night and we ate our posher dinner together peacefully. It's pretty much all included.

We did a pool/beach holiday with our 2 year 1 month old, 4 year old and 8 year old last year to Menorca and it was fab and relaxing. I think it probably depends on your toddler but 2 year olds are so different to 17 month olds in my experience.
He was able to sit in a chair for breakfast and a high chair at dinner without kicking off.
He wouldn't run into the sea. We put him in a buoyancy aid when going in the pool or sea so although we followed him when he wanted to go in, it wasnt like he was charging in randomly.
He spent ages playing in the sand or going in his rubber ring in the sea. He also had a long nap on the sun lounger at lunchtime. We went to Menorca, a cheap aparthotel 5 mins walk from the beach. The sea was really warm and really shallow and it wasn't too hot either time. Never got above about 30 degrees and with the breeze it felt cooler. We never felt too hot. I think Menorca is perfect for small children.

We went to the same place again this year as we loved it so much and we had a great time.

Thanks so much for this! I was looking at Moar Gut and a few other Austrian options so I’m glad you recommend! My older dds would love the animals at Moar gut. What was the food like? My DH is worried it won’t be as nice as the Med!