Kids club - will I get to relax??! Single parent

[outthereandbeyond]

So I’ve booked a very expensive holiday for my child and I at a chic all inclusive in Turkey this summer. Hotel offers a kids club that gets great reviews.

I’ve basically hinged the entire holiday on the fantasy that my kid will play with children all day long and I will get to read a bloody book for the first time in 8 years (yes she’s 8). Those who have gone on holiday with one child - so they actually leave you alone and go to the kids club? How does the hotel kids club work??

I’m also not the type of mother that wants rid of my child on holiday.

Rude.

OP, if your child is outgoing and makes friends easily, she will probably love kids clubs. My DD is the same, impossible to drag her out of the clubs. And why not, full day of fun activities and entertainment, some people here sneer like we're sending them to a coal mine.

It's not awful for a parent to want a few hours to do activities which are incompatible with having children around, like going to the spa, gym or having a proper swim.

I think a lot of mumsnetters have a lot of social anxiety issues and so do their children. There are so many people on here whose children can't cope with normal things like wraparound care or holiday clubs etc

I think it depends on the child! My daughter LOVES a holiday kids club, she’d go morning and afternoon in Turkey if she could! My son however didn’t want to go at all so didn’t and stayed with us

You say US so id assume you have another adult there. Different kettle of fish holidaying as a single parent

@minipie They divide up groups by age! The DD is 8. She will be in an appropriate group. Also it’s great to mix with other dc from different countries. The Brits really do need to be able to cope a bit more. On some holidays the whole point is dc clubs!

It’s a lottery! I think it depends on various factors and you won’t know until they try.

We went to a holiday village and my eldest was 6 at the time. Very outgoing, confident, social butterfly. I expected she wld love it. She didn’t like it, went a couple of times, once they called as she was so upset 🤷🏻‍♀️ It also wasn’t on very long, only about 45mins per session. As by time you booked them in and they wanted you to arrive back 15mins before the end!

Last yr didn’t want to go at all said it was babyish and I didn’t push it. Didn’t like the evening entertainment either was also a bit babyish (some of it was to be fair)

Most recent holiday she was almost 8 and wanted to try it and she loved the kids club. I think because she really liked the lady running it. It was the same woman everyday which helped. It was bright and airy inside. Some are little stuffy huts or indoors. You could choose to do the activities or play in the sandy play area, as was directly on to it. Al gated and secure too. It seemed very relaxed. The best bit was it was on for about 3hrs in the morning, same in the afternoon. I was getting bored of the peace and trying to coax her to just come to the pool with us 🤣

Went to an all-inclusive when my very “busy”, sociable DS was 9, and I think I’ve found the answer. Swim up pools. Absolutely game changer.

The hotel we went to had swim ups that were a quieter vibe in so far as there wasn’t music playing, games being run etc, but other families could come to the pools, to loungers on the other side of the pool. This meant that olde teenage dd and I could sit and read our books (this is what she wanted to do), and ds could be in the pool playing with the kids from the other swim ups and the other families who came to the other side. Brilliant.

But he wasn’t “shipped off” anywhere and we were still together. Obviously I would swim some of the time, as would other parents, but didn’t have to be in all the time.

DS is a fish in a boy’s body though, and would spend his entire life in water if given the chance.

It also meant that, as we had been very British and brought tea bags with us, we could get a proper cup of tea whenever we wanted by just nipping inside - no Lipton nonsense!

I have 2 who are very out going, love clubs at home, meeting new friends and socialising. Every day on holiday I gave them the option of going or staying with us. Every day without fail they choose kids club. They were 5 and 7. The LOVED it. In fact one day they slept in and missed beginning of morning session and were so cross I hadn't woke them up. I had to rush them down and bring them back their water bottles as they wouldn't delay even to get water sorted. It wasn't all day, 1.5-2 hrs in morning and again in afternoon. They did arts and crafts, pool discos (shallow knee deep for kids), treasure hunts around the grounds of hotel etc etc. Best part of their holiday. Husband went off to do the adult games and I got bliss to read a book twice a day! When kids came back we did activities together, bingo, swimming, floats on water etc, beach. Was a lovely balance. It was a smallish hotel and if we were happy we could give our permission for kids to leave without a parent. I could see the kids club from my sunbed and my kids are quite trustworthy to come straight back (oldest is very black and white lines) so I allowed this after day 2 and got the feel of the land. Every day without fail I had to go get them as they never left before time up. The staff also knew who I was by this point and the kids.
On the other hand, ones we met on holidays, their 2 oldest (same age as mine) kids refused to go every day. Until mine convinced them after a week. So I think it is very dependant on your kids. On our last night, all my kids wanted to do was hang out with the animation team, they were sooo sad to leave them. And the team instead of leaving after their shift, happily sat with them and painted each other's faces (my kids got to paint theirs as well). Absolute core memories made for my kids and they still talk about it. You know your kid, if they are like mine, you will have a great balance of rest and down time and a family holiday.

I had to look up what ultra ai was! Shows how much I know! I thought you meant some artificial intelligence thing.

anyway, It’s called the calyptus Kirman. 5star resort. Looks chic and sublime. But most importantly it received fab reviews everywhere I looked and decent price I thought.

I don’t know what to expect. My DD and I are always joined at the hip but she does live playing with children so I’m hoping she’ll make a friend or two

Definitely no social anxiety issues here.. said DD is now a confident, outgoing 20yo - currently very happily solo travelling Australia and south-east Asia!

I just can’t imagine so desperately wanting rid of my child on holiday - surely that’s about having family time and making special memories?! If you want to sit and read a book alone then just book a spa day at home FGS. No point in travelling abroad to dump your child in a kids club the entire time.

@RedSetter78Thats a bit odd!Special
memories??!! Only possible with mum and Dad? It’s a bit cringy.

My DC had special moments in abundance and a dc club as well. It’s not one or the other. Special isn’t just swimming in a pool all day with parents. In fact mine would have found that boring. By 10 they had been on a safari, seen the wildebeeste migration, been on a crewed yacht with us and been to hotels in fantastic locations where they could join a club as well as swim in coral reefs, see wild bears catching salmon, meet dc from other countries. They got a lot of variety but they don’t need to be with us 24/7. It’s all a bit narrow minded. There’s more to life than parents.

You may have no social anxiety because sounds like you’ve done a fine job palming that off to others with your harsh judgey post! You have no idea what I do with my time when at home with my child, just how much time I spend with her on a day to day basis, and the memories I have been making with her in our lives thus far. Who said anyone is looking to “dump them the whole time”? And why so judgemental over me wanting a few reliable hours to myself while ON HOLIDAY!?

Not surprised you’d DD has buggered off to the other side of the world! (See what I did there? I used the same senseless, pointless judgement on you - and it’s pretty baseless isn’t it?). 🙄

Not yet. But I will. Thanks 🙏🏽

Wow! Judgy much?

Sometimes children want the company of other children. Using kids clubs on holiday doesn’t mean you never see them but it can mean they make friends their own age AND parents get some time to
relax.

If you met my children you would understand the need to palm them off for a few hours a day. Nuerodiverse and non stop, I love them dearly but a break even for half an hour is required when in sole charge for a holiday.

For anyone who’s interested in a hotel with a good kids club in the future, Kinderhotels in Austria are - in every way - wonderful. The hotels are very much geared around the kids’ needs (but still beautiful in stunning locations). The kids clubs open from around 9am to 9pm and you can use them as much as you like, they plan fabulous activities for the different age groups and although mine are younger, there are lots of older children who seem to love it. When we’ve been DH and I have tended to drop them off in the morning, go for a hike/e-bike ride/something else they’d be too small for, then pick them up, have lunch and a swim or an outing all together and then get ready for dinner. DD usually clamours to go back to the kids club area after dinner and we’ll take a drink and go with her, there are lots of parents in there at that time. It’s brilliant fun for the kids and the Alps in summer are incredible, with usually very hot and sunny holiday weather. I think it would be the perfect holiday if you’re single and need a proper, not too time-constrained break.

I’m a single parent - except of 3 - so I know what it’s like to dream of some time just to sit and read a book! My eldest is a similar age though and she’d do a kids club for maybe a day or 2 but she wouldn’t do it any longer than that.
(also find as I have 3 lots of only children are encouraged to latch on to us which both my kids - and me - often find a bit exhausting and encroaching on our time as it’s not just in the kids club the kid will pop up anywhere/everywhere)

Brilliant. That made me lol

Enjoy your holiday OP. Mine love kids clubs - currently in Greece and yesterday they complained about the prospect of a family day instead of going to kids clubs. They make loads of friends and love the activities - this morning they did baking, an escape room, and slime making. Zero mum (or dad) guilt here.

There's definitely good and bad kids clubs - I spend a lot of time checking reviews to ensure the kids club plans excellent and varying activities and is safe. My top tip is just to tell them it's really really fun and a special treat. Don't present it as optional or give them the idea that it might not be fun / they might not like it. Deal with a scenario where they don't want to go after their first visit, if needed!

You need your downtime and you'll have a lot more energy to engage with your daughter after a few hours peace. And hopefully she will love it.

@bigfatsunandclouds- accidently responded to your post instead of redsetters. Glad you get a break!

Reponse to the “desperately wanting rid of my child” comment:
She did not say “Hey guys, got a question here. I absolutely hate my child and desperately want rid of them so I can get my jollies on holiday. In fact, whilst I’m at it, I’ll tell you how it really is - I wish they were never born so I could holiday to my hearts desire. Yolo!”

She wants a minute to read a book on holiday whilst knowing her kid is looked after. Chill out.

We’ve used loads of kids clubs - mine generally love the active ones (watersports, skiing etc) but aren’t keen on indoor/craft based ones, but all kids are different. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to insist on a session a day whilst you relax, if she loves it then she can go more, if not then you can hang out together the rest of the day. I have really fond memories of kids clubs when I was a kid, I loved the sailing ones on sunsail holidays. When mine were small, having a kids club was a prerequisite for booking a holiday - I’ll never forget the dreamy afternoon I spent with my husband whilst the kids (5 months and 3 years at the time) were in kids club, it was the first time we’d had an hour to ourselves since the baby was born!

Do check the setup when you get there though, the ones we’ve been to that have been British run/followed their standards have been great, some of the hotel run ones have been frankly dangerous, with kids being allowed to wander off on their own and go swimming unsupervised.

Hope you have a fab holiday!

I wouldn’t even frame it you are going with adults, you need to make her think that it’s the best place to be for her.

Ive found clubs vary massively but it usually depends how quickly they made friends whether mine wanted to stick it out or not.

We asked them to try it for two sessions at the start of each holiday. After that it was up to them if they went or not. Mostly they would choose either a morning or afternoon session each day and we play in the pool etc for the other time.