Kids club - will I get to relax??! Single parent

[outthereandbeyond]

So I’ve booked a very expensive holiday for my child and I at a chic all inclusive in Turkey this summer. Hotel offers a kids club that gets great reviews.

I’ve basically hinged the entire holiday on the fantasy that my kid will play with children all day long and I will get to read a bloody book for the first time in 8 years (yes she’s 8). Those who have gone on holiday with one child - so they actually leave you alone and go to the kids club? How does the hotel kids club work??

It depends on the language and specific dynamic of kids and staff. With overseas holidays, the staff often end up speaking the language that the majority of kids there speak. Some shy children won't find it fun being in a club where they can't understand what's going on. Though if you're lucky, there might be a majority of english speaking children and they can also make friends. DD always loved clubs where english was dominant. I also find it easier to drop her off for 1-2 hours at a time, then have lunch together, and then go back, rather than expecting her to stay for an entire day.

And lastly, sorry to be somewhat negative, kids clubs are unfortunate breeding grounds for germs. We've been on 6-7 holidays with family hotels and DD has caught some bug from every single one. The "better" ones was just a snotty nose and a cough, though we also had norovirus and covid at the same time. It usually only hits 3-4 days into the vacation so definitely bring all the medications you have from home. So keep expectations realistic...if nobody gets sick then that's already a huge win!

I wouldn’t send mine to kids club no.

but you do have a right to a holiday too. I just tell my two, right Mummy is reading her book for an hour, will you join me? And encourage them to sit and read too. At 8 your daughter is old enough to know you aren’t an entertainment machine and can empathise with the feelings of others

Not always?

I used to do kids clubs on family holidays and loved them. I can remember doing mini golf, archery, bean bag games and loads of other outdoor games. There was also some colouring and mini disco type activities, but they were predominantly outdoors.

My son is very outgoing, loves holiday clubs at home in the holidays but has never wanted to go to a kids club, he loves spending time with us on holiday on holiday. He's older now (almost 13) and tends to make friends and ditch us and I do miss those days. Some of our best memories are from spending time in the pool etc on holiday. I wouldn't bank on her definitely going to a kids club.

My DC loves going to kids club - she is an only child and making friends round a pool is just that bit harder when other kids are there with siblings or friends.

But our experience is that kids clubs vary. Well run ones have a timetable so you can pick and choose which activities they would like like join in. Some are just a room of kids toys and crafts without structured activities. The local crafts that she had made make great souvenir of our trip.

Some locations have fewer English speaking kids than others (depends on the guest profile I guess) which makes it a little less fun if she is unable to communicate with the other kids.

Kids clubs hours aren’t very long so there’s still plenty of family time!

DS loves kids clubs as an extrovert only child. For some reason he’s never managed to make friends around the pool despite trying. The hotels tend to do 1030-12 and 3-4.45 so hardly the whole day and he really wants to play with other kids.

Could you share what hotel that is please? Sounds great!

I’m going to break this to you gently but DD was a competitive swimmer until she was 15.. at 8 she had better swimming capability than most adults and could reliably be independent in the water. Of course I always kept an eye and ear out whilst reading my book - don’t all mums?

I was also a competitive swimmer, it didn't stop me falling off a diving board, breaking a rib on the concrete side of a pool and nearly drowning on holiday. And most 8 year olds are not competitive swimmers.

We have one child and we always used kids clubs on holiday. However, we only ever did a morning or afternoon. We let him choose which session he wanted to go to (the ones we used were often themed so we let him decide what activities he’d be interested in). He would always make friends and then ask to go to an evening party or activity.

We always made it clear that going to kids club was party of the holiday but we gave him choices around when and what…

But you suggested the OP's daughter should be the same as your daughter, and we presume she is not a competitive swimmer.

It didn't take long for the perfect mummies to jump out in horror at those of us putting dc in kids club.

Majes me laugh as most are those with more than one child so they have each other.

For Those of us with one child kids clubs are a great place to make friends

Hilton Dalaman. The staff are brilliant, feels very safe, you can spend time in there with them if you wish to. I've just been in playing games with her, table tennis and colouring for an hour. Now she wants to do the afternoon activity, jewellery making, so I'm chilling by the pool. Win win!

I’m in a similar situation OP - single parent with an only child who loves making friends & doing activities (she’s neurodivergent so needs a lot of stimulation & wouldn’t just chill by the pool for very long!) but struggles to just go up to other kids around the pool when they’re usually with siblings etc. She wouldn’t want to go to a kids club with loads of little ones. She’s 10 - does anyone have any recommendations for hotels that have separate kids clubs/ activities for tween sort of ages? Mid-range prices ideally 🙏🏼 totally fine if the sessions are only for a couple of hours though, that’d be ideal!

(she’s neurodivergent so needs a lot of stimulation & wouldn’t just chill by the pool for very long!) but struggles to just go up to other kids around the pool when they’re usually with siblings etc. She wouldn’t want to go to a kids club with loads of little ones. She’s 10

I don't think your child's behaviour is necessarily down to her neurodiversity. I don't think many 10 year olds chill by the pool for long, and most children would find it hard to approach other children, especially if they're already playing with siblings/other children.

I don't know what the answer is - I tended to keep busy with the kid or kids during the day and then insist on some quiet time in the evening.

I think the best thing for preteens/teens is to try take a friend/cousin with you on holiday

My DD loves kids clubs and so did I as a lone parent. 🤣. It will be fine. Another recommendation is Scott Dunn they have the best kids clubs loads of activities.

She'll have a blast, you'll probably end up persuading her NOT to go at some point!

Enjoy 😎

Not always. It depends on the hotel.

Have you contacted the hotel’s kids’ club to see what they offer, OP?

You don’t have to book her in all day. You can book just morning or afternoon, or just some days.

Some kids’ clubs are excellent and have the children on the beach or doing different outdoor activities. Some appear to be dire.

I presume you’ll want to spend some time with her so you can send her some days and not others. I am also a single parent and have previously, through hotels, managed to book a local nanny who would come each morning and take my children to the beach after a room service breakfast, to run around with them while I got up at a more leisurely pace then followed to the beach and plonked myself on a sun lounger. This also meant I could swim in the sea without leaving them unattended on the beach, and take them into the water one at a time.

Jesus Christ, honestly. ‘Not the sort of mum who wishes to abandon her child.’ People have different needs. Wise up and don’t be so self righteous.

My kids always enjoyed going to the clubs. As other posters have said, they are usually a few hours in the morning and a few in the afternoon, and we usually used one of the two sessions. This worked for us, as we would do swimming, beach etc as a family, then after lunch, they would enjoy doing crafting stuff in the club or playing organised games with other kids. We have never been to a hotel where everything was inside, usually there was a play area and often a little pool outside. They were signed in and out, but for the older kids, you could decide whether they could leave alone.

I am the sort of parent who wants some time away from their children on holiday. It’s also my only opportunity to have a break from work and relax - my children are not in any way relaxing, as much as I love them!

DD generally loves kids club, will make friends and be happy to go. DS not so much, he struggles a bit with it but will spend some time there.

Generally we do chunks of time…. breakfast together then an hour or 2 doing family stuff, couple of hours kids club, family lunch and an hour together, maybe couple of hours kids club in afternoon, dinner together then evenings tend to be a mix of family evening together or kids club while DH and I have time together.

Kids club allows us to go in the adult only pool/spa area, have a couple of quiet drinks, watch a show, or spend time in bed together. Also a much needed part of our holidays.

Don’t overthink it. youre not going to be able to predict it.

kids clubs are all slightly different, and it will depend how hour daughter is feeling on the day, what languages the kids and staff are speaking etc etc.

Hopefully she will go some of the time, and the rest of the time she will hopefully make some friends.

enjoy

IME it’s going to depend a lot on the other kids there.

If you’re lucky they’ll be a bunch of english speaking 7-10 year olds and she’ll have a ball and never want to leave.

If you’re unlucky it will be full of 4-6 year olds and she’ll turn tail.

Even with the best case scenario, I would advise not booking in for anything that runs across two kids club sessions, as kids quite often end up wanting to leave at the end of an activity especially if other kids are leaving then.

For future: I’d say your best bet for kids club that definitely works for older kids is to book Mark Warner or Neilsons where the expectation from all guests is that their kids are in activities for most of the day, the kids clubs are grouped by small age range, the activities are mostly decent for older kids (watersports not colouring in) and everyone is English speaking. It was a bit rigid for me but my friend loves them.