Going away but really dont want to

[MikeL1993]

I’m going away on a stag do this weekend but I really don’t want to. It is for my future brother in law and we’re going to Madrid. The majority of the people going are going Friday to Monday but me and my dad are flying Friday morning and flying back on Sunday morning so in total we’re not even going to be there for 48 hours.

Stag do’s really aren’t mine or my dad’s thing and we’re only going because we feel like we have to. I just don’t want to go because it’ll be the first time I’m leaving my girlfriend and my 11 month old baby. My girlfriend has reassured me they’ll be fine and I’ll be back before I know it but it doesn’t make me feel any easier about going.

Does anyone have any advice as to how I can survive the weekend without getting upset?

You'll be fine just join in with those things that are OK for you, maybe the daytime activities. In the evening join the stags for an hour and skidaddle. No one will remember or care, they will just know you turned up.

Go to the museums, the art galleries, the Puerto del Sol for people watching, the Retiro Park and so on. Take a train to Segovia.

TBH it's a very short time to be away, and to be "upset" is a bit dramatic!

Awww mate !

my advice would be appear very keen, look up nice bars so you have a plan, nice food then go hard early then slope off later.

madrid is an excellent city. You should have a ball, just make a plan for you and your dad.

My girlfriend has said I’ll be gone for such short amount of time by the time we’ve eaten etc on the Friday evening and Saturday I’ll be getting ready to come home. But I just don’t like the thought of leaving them even if it is for a short time.

I just want the time to pass quickly, I've not even gone yet and already want it to be Sunday afternoon when I get back.

I don't want to spend the weekend just bar hopping, I want to do stuff that will make the day go quickly. It is essentially just Saturday where I will need to fill the time as by the time our flight lands tomorrow and we've got to the hotel we will be looking at it being around 2pm any way.

This is quite unusual to be honest. At least you've got your dad there, and if it isn't his thing either than you can avoid the boozing side of it and head off with your dad to sight see. Then meet up with the others for dinner.

You might find you have a great time, sometimes these things surprise us.

Sometimes I get a huge feeling of dread when I’m going on a trip. Usually the trip is much better than I think it’s going to be. Think of it as a chance to spend some time with your dad. If it’s going to be rounds of lager and shots, then just say you had a tummy upset this week so you’ll be doing “mostly pints of shandy and shots of lemonade”😂

If my dad wasn't going then I wouldn't be going either. Stag dos are really not my thing so I wouldn't want to be with a load of strangers whilst feeling down and missing home.

My girlfriend thinks that I am thinking about this way too much.

How do you overcome that feeling of dread? I know deep down everything will be fine but I just can't get excited about going.

Embrace it, go with the flow and focus on having fun

Believe me I am really trying but the thought of leaving my little boy is really getting to me, even though I will only be gone for less than 48 hours.

stag and hen dos are crap if you’re not into drinking. But if your Dad is there too Madrid a fab place to visit even sober.

I am hoping that the plan is me and my dad will go off exploring. Otherwise I am going to hate it.

View it as quality time with your dad.

You could also say your DD has been sleeping poorly recently so you need to catch up on your sleep once it gets raucous.

Think if it as just one day. Make the most of being with your Dad. Don’t drink more than you want to. You are a new father you have the perfect excuse to leave early for extra sleep!

I actually think it’s lovely that you love your family so much, you sound like a devoted father op.

There must be a drip feed coming, surely. You (are mature enough to) have a partner and a baby and you're going to be upset to be away for 48 hours? On holiday in in Spain? With your dad and other family members? Sorry, but that is a little odd.

That's what I am trying to do, by the time we arrive and get sorted in our hotel it will be mid-afternoon/early evening and the majority of the others are on a different flight so will only be arriving much later in the day. Then on Saturday they are not early risers so it will be me and my dad for much of the morning and our flight is at 11 on Sunday morning so I imagine it will be a case of waking up and going straight to the airport.

I'm really trying to compartmentalize but I am struggling.

I just don't want to leave them.

What do you think is going to happen to your girlfriend and son in less than 48 hours?

I think people are being a bit mean to you actually.
My husband found it hard the first time he had to stay away from home after our son was born. There’s nothing wrong with being happy in your own little family unit.
And Stag/Hen do isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. There’s nothing wrong with you for not being gung ho about that either.
i hope you are reassured by your partner supporting you in going, it means she really feels capable of managing without you there.
Be gentle to yourself, head off to Madrid and spend some time with your dad. Show your face at the stag and if you really hate it, make an excuse to go elsewhere.

Arrive 2pm in Madrid - perfect for going for a long leisurely lunch - meals are much later in Spain. This could easily take you up to 5pm. Have a lovely time and enjoy Madrid, so much to see. When back you will lots to tell DP about.

It's 48 hours!

Anyway, go and enjoy the city. Stroll around, go to an art gallery, eat tapas, soak up the atmosphere. It will be over before you know it.

Thank you, I like the idea of it being just us three in our own little bubble. Even though it’s only two nights I’m dreading it.

My girlfriend has said she’s excited for me because I’m going abroad but I don’t want to go without them. Next weekend she is going to Manchester for my sisters hen do for the same length of time I’m away but because she’s only 40 minutes down the road I’m not bothered in the slightest that she’ll be away. I wish this stag do was in this country.

I think you sound like a lovely dad and partner. As many others have said, concentrate on spending time with your own dad while away, try to see a few sights and the weekend will soon pass. To spur you on, just think how happy you'll feel when you see your girlfriend and baby again on your return.

You've put quite a bit of identifiable information on here OP.

If this post is genuine then you've got two options. Either go and make the most of it. Take this as an opportunity to spend time with your DF with the possibility of having a good time. As you've said yourself it's 48 hours.

Or cancel - I would imagine both your DP and DF would prefer you not.