DD (17) going away on holiday with friends.

[theferry]

This is terrifying me! DD is planning on going on holiday next summer with friends (she’ll be 18 at that point). DH says we shouldn’t let her go, but she’ll be an adult. She’s a really sensible girl, never had a problem with her. We’ll be paying so we could just say no…. What do you think?

Also, any suggestions for where to go in Spain/Canary islands/Greece that’s safe, near a beach, not far from a town? Not party central (they don’t want that)

At 18 you can't stop her, she's an adult.

Well, we can as we will be paying. She won’t have the money otherwise. I want her to go, DH doesn’t. I think it’s a right of passage, but DH isn’t happy.

If she’s sensible then you might fret but sounds like she’ll be fine. And ultimately you have to accept she’s an adult regardless. You can’t stop her. Unless you’re paying?

I went to Spain for two weeks with friends when I was just short of 17, we partied but were sensible and had an amazing time.

I think she will be okay and should have a good deal of fun. But of course you need to be certain that you are alright with it

It’s a rite of passage. I went to Magaluf - party central in 2001. The important thing is who you go with. I’d recommend playa Blanca in Lanzarote. It has a safe feeling and a friendly vibe as there’s lots of older people as well as younger.

Meant to add - drill into her about never leaving her drink unattended, even with a friend.

Ds went to Magaluf at 18, i was not jumping up and down with joy but he really wanted to go and had a great time. They all came home safely!! I think you do have to let her go.

@Prisonpillow yes, we’ll be paying. She won’t have the money otherwise.

I want her to go and she is super sensible, as are her friends. But she’s a bit naive. DH is just worried about arsehole men trying to take advantage .

She could get a job and pay herself if you say no? You can’t really say no, you can refuse to pay. I would let my 17yo go but he’d probably have to pay for it!

She hasn’t got a job as she has a horse and doesn’t have the time for that + a job. There are also very, very few jobs for her around here.

Definitely a rite of passage after A levels. If not looking for party central then how about city break - Barcelona, Palma Mallorca, Dubrovnik? Loads of nice Airbnb places

Jesus. Everyone at my school went on holiday after A levels (not together, in various groups, though some of us did end up in the same place).

That said, these days I wouldn't go to any of those destinations in the height of Summer, they're unbearably hot with climate change. The Algarve is very safe, only party central on The Strip in Albufeira (easily avoided) and less hot.

Or even Disney Paris for a few days - a taste of independence in a totally safe environment!

Just make sure it's through a good company. When I was 18 I went on a teletext holiday. We stayed in the most horrible place, 3 18 year old girls, opposite waste land. We got burgled one week into our holiday. They took everything of value. This isn't to scare you, I went on a holiday with friends at 17, then again at 19, 20, 21, etc. But always stayed somewhere decent after that.

Definitely let her go ! She is sensible and I'm sure she will have a fab time .

The dodgy place was Falaraki, by the way. I've been on girls' holidays to Tenerifre, magaluf, kavos etc, never had any problems.

She doesn't have a job because she's got a horse to look after?!?! I've heard it all now

This

I have 4 dds now early and mid twenties and they all went on holiday with their mates at 18. Nothing bad happened and they all had a good time. My dds are not big drinkers and don’t take drugs. We have talked to them about how to take care of themselves and their friends around men.

When do you think it's ok?
Mine both went away at 15 with friends/boy/girlfriend
It's so good for them

Mine all went away at 18 with friends. It’s a great step towards independence especially if they are going to uni after.

Funnily enough many of my friends have both a horse AND a job! You can’t really have one without the other since horses are quite expensive things to look after it turns out.
Pretty much anywhere in Spain/Greece/Portugal/canaries is safe. I don’t really see how you can stop her going. She’s plenty of time to get a job and save. She’s 18 so she’ll need to be looking for a job anyway to support herself

Of course she should go! Presumably she'll be leaving home too, so the sooner she starts living life as an adult, the better.

Oh let her go! You’ve said yourself she’s a sensible head on her, as have her friends. She will have spent the months leading up to it in the whole stress of sitting her A levels.
Let her enjoy being young and free with her friends. You’re only 18 once and they will make memories on that holiday that they will treasure forever. It’s a right of passage, please don’t deny your daughter the fun and freedom of youth over yours and your DHs worries. It isn’t fair.

DH is going to struggle with this becoming a legal adult and making her own decisions thing isn’t he.

It’s more he doesn’t trust men!