Solo holiday and no confidence

[Chrishelle]

I've not had a holiday since I lost my partner 5 years ago. I'd really like to fly off somewhere or take a river cruise, but I'm nervous about going on my own. Anyone holidaying alone? How do you cope?

Gather your courage and go!

I love travelling alone. Can do what I want, when I want and if I want.

Always meet amazing people on my travels, some become life-time friends.

My friend holidays alone all the time. Weeks at a time in far flung places. She loves it.
Im a big cruise fan, I think when DD leaves home and I'll be happily alone I will give cruising a go solo. Feels very safe. Lots of meet ups available for solo people if needed and you can dine wherever you want. The Norwejian Fjords from Southampton is a lovely cruise.

Go for it. I'm widowed and my children have flown the nest. I find it "difficult" trying to organise trips with friends as everyone has different requirements and budgets.

Have you thought of a group tour? I went to India last year with a group and I'm returning in a few weeks, on another tour with a different company.

There are companies that specialise in solo travel as well.

Presently looking at Just You, who offer tours in the UK and abroad.

Good luck!

https://www.justyou.co.uk/continents/?utmsource=JYYMarketingNewsletter&utmmmedium=email&utmcampaign=JYY2409181000Days&mkttok=MTEwLUFJTC0xNTIAAAGVo0kwXMdZZRs1Q8GkZYja8kCfJ7f4Tpgr8tvWDn5pB3--Eh8hSYI4MxH2yP8cR4vsTQWqEKnqNgOOnHxqfq1u6x9XVjfvNAUVGav5sF3MialMZU

Depends if you would like to do stuff with other people during the day / occasional evenings or if you are naturally happy in your own company?

I really recommend this company - they do a lot of activity based holidays but also cater for a more chilled experience. It may also give you some inspiration. I think that some destinations are suited to solo travel but others I'd be nervous about visiting by myself for security reasons.

https://www.exodus.co.uk/way-to-travel/solo-traveller-holidays

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams that you for that recommendation, I shall have a look myself!

You meet people. If you were in a couple, you'd not be invited by others to join them. I've been on solo holidays and felt a lot less lonely than on some couples trips.

Sounds like a group trip would suit you. Legers do short coach holidays with 3 nights on a river cruise which would make a good first solo venture.

1. Think of some things you want to do or eat or see or even just think of a country. Use that as a starting point. Google e.g. "Slovenia destinations" or "Valencia tourist attractions" for some more ideas.

1. Don't book yet but look up flights. Look up hotels (booking.com and hotels.com are common sites, sometimes going to a hotel directly is cheaper). Search country + "backpacking costs" or "travel costs". Backpacking blogs often give you the budget, mid-range and very comfortable price guidance so don't let the word 'backpacking' put you off.

1. So you've now a budget and itinerary in mind. Book the holiday and your insurance!

1. Finally, check gov.uk foreign travel section as it has general visa info or, better yet, check with the country you are visiting (their UK consul/embassy will have a visa section online) and check fitfortravel which is an NHS site about vaccinations and travel health.

Honestly it's very easy and can be really fun to get into. Unless you are very busy, a tour agency is a waste of money. Plus the immersion in planning helps promote a sense of control and confidence as you'll get a feel for the place rather than going in blind.

Holidaying solo is much easier than getting MN's formatting to work 😂that was meant to be steps 1-4!

I often go away on my own and love it. Maybe start with a short break eg a city break, 1-2 night stay. You’ll learn the “ropes” and it won’t feel like too much of an investment. I find breakfast and lunch a pleasure but eating alone in the evening makes me feel self conscious so I might have something light in the hotel room. I like to have a TV in the room and just slob around. I’m off to Lille alone next month and have been getting excited reading about museums, cafes, wine shops etc. Go for it!

Consider booking into an activity you’re into, (I saw they have wine tasting sessions in various wine shops and also cookery classes in Lille for example) , that way you get to hang out with people and it breaks the day up.

I travel solo a lot and love it. The freedom to do what you want, when you want.

Group tours can be a good way to start. You can join in as little or as much as you want to. Just You, One Traveller are good, and Titan do solo exclusive tours too.

As for cruising, it’s a great way to travel solo. Lots of interesting people to meet or you can keep to yourself. Biggest issue with cruises is the price! Most lines charge double for a solo. Some have solo specific rooms which can be akin to broom closets!

There is a travel agency in Cardiff called Passion For Cruises who specialise in getting great deals on solo cruises. I’d really recommend them both for amazing service and fab prices.

Book something you have always fancied, go on, just book it. Could be just a short trip for your first solo trip but get it booked. You will feel so proud of yourself.

What is it that worries you? The travel? Safety? Being lonely? That might help us offer advice.

Hi

It's the being alone, for example I get self conscious when I go out and get a coffee/lunch somewhere. I'm quite a shy person and find small talk difficult. I'm also nervous about the whole travelling alone - feeling safe, knowing where to go.

Yes I think I've got to put on my big girls pants and just do it but at 75 it's daunting. I'm thinking more on the lines of a group city tour perhaps, something that's organised for me.

It sounds so easy when you tell me !

That sounds like a plan, @Chrishelle .

Lille is lovely but I've only been there for a day.

The average country has good points and bad points, safe areas and unsafe areas and the UK is a very average country, if you're safe here you'll be safe there. There are very obvious things like don't go to beaches alone at night, don't accept drinks off strangers, don't flash valuables and use authorised taxis or a ride app. The only thing you're likely to experience in a tourist hotspot are annoyances, such as persistent sellers, but either avoid looking super touristy or give a firm no, do not engage further and keep walking. They want to make money so they'll quickly give up on you if you don't engage. Actually the politest, most respectful sellers I met were in Ukraine but, obviously, can't go there at the moment.

What about an organised trip to Malta or Cyprus if you don't want to book it yourself? Or if you're thinking of a winter jaunt one of the Scandi capitals or even start small and take a trip to Belfast, Derry or Dublin!

I promise you, your confidence will soar as you do it more. You might still feel shy but you will also know exactly what you are capable of and with that comes confidence!

You mention a river cruise in your first post and that would be ideal as a first trip. You can go out to a different place each day and then come back to the ship for dinner etc. There will be guided tours on offer or you could go for a stroll on your own. And there will always been a concierge desk on hand to help if their are any problems.

Right, yes. This is why I asked, because if you don’t love being on your own in this country, you may not love it abroad.

FWIW, I also used to feel really self conscious on my own in cafes and bars so just took baby steps towards it. Coffee first (take a book). Then cinema (it’s dark; no one will see you). Then dinner…

What kinds of things do you enjoy? Would a group holiday with a shared interest work for you?

If you have FB, join Solo in Style over 50's travel group - it's very inspirational

Good luck with your plans! I (F65) holiday solo lots these days and I love it.

May I offer the example of my friend A? She decided that by her 70th birthday she wanted to have slept at least one night in all the European capital cities. And she did!

PS, and cruising's great for feeling safe and looked after...

I really look forward to my solo breaks. I'm an introvert though. Also my partner hates the heat and my daughter is disabled, so that means I have to do a lot of compromising and adjustments on holidays. My solo breaks are a chance for me to do exactly the kind of thing I can't do with my family. I have only so far done 2 night breaks, but in January I'm going to lanzarote for 4 nights! It's an adults only resort and I've already booked a mountain buggy tour of the island!

For context, I lived on my own years ago for over 5 years, so perhaps I was always content with doing things on my own.

Not sure if this will help you, but just thought I'd give the perspective of someone who absolutely loves going away on their own 😁

Depending where you are in the UK, it might be worth seeing if there are any coach companies offering European holidays, which pick up in your area. Some even pick you up from your home. Doesn't have to be a local company as some major companies offer pick up from across a wide region.

That way you'd be in a group, wouldn't have to worry about organising things yourself and would of course see some amazing places. These trips are often very good value too and you'd likely find you're not the only one going on your own.

I'm in my late 50s and have often holidayed solo, in both the UK and northern Europe, and love it. I choose to organise things myself (e.g. booking travel and accommodation separately). The first time I was so anxious I felt as if I was about to face a firing squad rather than embark on a holiday! But once you've done it your confidence grows and you'll get a real sense of achievement.

Good luck with whatever you decide on.