Solo holiday and no confidence

[Chrishelle]

I've not had a holiday since I lost my partner 5 years ago. I'd really like to fly off somewhere or take a river cruise, but I'm nervous about going on my own. Anyone holidaying alone? How do you cope?

I really recommend group trips. You don't have to push yourself to join in but can if you want to.
DH and I are quite intrepid travellers and use group trips to go to weird and wonderful places (DPRK, Iraq, central Africa etc). I am the introvert and he is the extrovert, but we both enjoy them.
No need to be as weird as us, just join a group trip and take as much or as little as you would like.

Oh, and to add, I have travelled solo many a time - TBH, my favourite form of travelling as I can just do the stuff I want when I want.

Im a mature lady and I’m flying solo to Tenerife soon. I’m flying from my local airport and will have a transfer coach included at the other end.
Ive booked half board, adults only so I don’t have to go out in the evening looking for supper!
TUI has some great hols at this time of year. I actually haggled a bit for my budget price!
Feel the fear & do it anyway!

It's really great when you bring yourself to do it. I went for four nights once to a european capital city as none of my friends were free and I really wanted to get away. Loved it and did a day trip or two also. It can be a little nerve wracking I know, I had gotten used to doing things like dinner & cinema on my own at that point. I just brought my Kindle out for dinner, honestly no one cares and restaurant staff are usually lovely.

It gets easier each time. I tell myself I have just as much right as anyone else to be there, at that point in time.

Also I think, what would I think if I saw a woman eating alone in a restaurant? I’d think good on her! And I suspect so do most other people.

I usually envy the peace and quiet of being able to eat and read a book while eating dinner. It's nice to have company when it's entertaining but it's often not at all.

@Chrishelle Im not sure what your budget is, but River Cruising isn’t cheap so I’m assuming it’s reasonably healthy.

We go on small ships with Noble Caledonia. Loads of people will be your age (was that right - 75?) and you won’t be left out. You will be invited into tables for dining and all the trips off the boat will be friendly. DH and me sometimes opt to do different things. There’s some evening activities and a bar on the ships but you get to know people when there’s only 100 on the boats. You get to departure points but everyone is helpful. I recommend it for singles.

Thanks for the info. I'm currently looking at a Solo river cruise, I figure we'll all be in the same boat!

Meant to add, I'd find being around lots of couples difficult.

Going solo is great for some, and quite daunting for others. But if you don't try it at least once, you'll never know! For me (late 60s) it was a huge learning curve and like OP I was scared witless of doing it. And it does get easier as your confidence grows. It's never QUITE the same as being with others, but if there's somewhere you want to go and no one else does, you have to do it! Life is short.

Again, like OP I wasn't comfortable around couples and families so I made sure I went to places that were not "fly and flop" type places, although I love a few weeks R+R with DP just the same.

So I did things that interested me where it (I hoped) didn't really matter that I was on my own. The most recent was a trip to the WW1 battlefields in Belgium. A distant relative was killed there and it had resonance. I travelled to Brussels airport and immediately took the direct train to Ghent, which was a fabulous place in its own right. Arranged a battlefield tour from there with Flanders Tourism or something like that via the tourist office in Ghent. Then went to Bruges and back to Brussels to get home. Train travel was really easy and I did it and thoroughly enjoyed it. I used the Trainline app as they compare all services for times and prices and you can book where needed. Others may have different suggestions. Met many like minded people in Flanders Fields too.

If there is one piece of advice I can give to solo travellers it is to travel light! I only use an underseat size backpack for a few days away. It is so much easier getting on and off aircraft, trains, buses etc. with just a small bag on your back, and it's easier to keep it safe too. If only going to one place then it doesn't matter so much, but if travelling around, that's what I do.

Lots of good advice already OP, but one thing I'll add is how I push myself when the nerves kick in.

I've done quite a few solo trips now, including long haul, short haul and within the UK but even now I'll often get butterflies the night before or on route to the airport and question what I'm doing but I tell myself I don't have go if if I really don't want to, no one is forcing me. Not sure if it's reverse psychology but giving myself permission to not go always works in settling my nerves. It's true that it's entirely up to me (one of the benefits of travelling solo!) but I ask myself if I don't go what will I do instead - stay home and watch a box set, hope a friend might be free for coffee? Despite any nerves at the outset I've never regretted a single trip.

It's not easy, especially taking that first trip but do your prep, take that deep breath and go for it! You can always start a thread on here when you book your trip and us solo travelling gals can travel along with you.

Have you looked any more at a holiday @Chrishelle ?

I will stay in the UK for my first (of many?) trip. I'm going to Edinburgh, fly up, go to the Christmas market, then next day visit the royal yacht Britannia. Third day I'll explore Edinburgh, overnight sleeper train back to London. Wish me luck.

Thanks for asking! 😀

Good luck! Wrap up warm and immerse yourself. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time. Edinburgh is a friendly place and residents are used to tourists so if you get stuck just ask someone! Do let us know you get on, even if the castle falls down, we have a hurricane and it all goes to pot 😉

P.s. I know there are a few Whittard of Chelsea stores around the UK but there is one on Princess St practically across the road from Waverley so pop in and warm yourself with a sample of hot chocolate. They usually have something tasty on the go and staff never hover or pressure you.

P.P.S. Do remember many of our museums are free/donation-based and there are lots of little streets and "closes" to meander down. If you're stuck for a loo, e.g. the Christmas market is heaving, then Waverley station is your friend - free and usually clean.

Thats a great start good for you. I have had to travel solo internationally for my career so if you are in a city people will just assume you are working or going about your daily business.

I did once do a week to Canaries in the winter solo as I was exhausted and no one was free - as others have said stay in adult only type hotel and get up and out early taling a late lunch so you can chill in the evenings in your hotel room.

I didnt want to talk to or meet anyone when I did my week - and some of the suggestions to join a travel group would not be for me at all - as my RL involves too many people already....need some peace and quiet.

That's great news @Chrishelle, well done you in taking those first (huge!) steps. Very exciting. A few days on home soil is a good plan, different sights but still familiar, and Edinburgh is always lovely for wandering about.

I've done a few solo trips to Scotland, including the Highlands and Islands, over the past few years and always come home planning the next trip. It's a addictive destination!

I used a company called "one traveller" group tours for singles. You had your own room and they mixed you up at night to sit next to different people. I went to India and Thailand with them. They weren't cheap so depends on your budget. I was in my mid 50s so admire you going for it!

Really great to read all these posts, I'm keen to start travelling solo. Now a single parent I do holidays with the teens no problem but I'm starting to think more about me..! So many places I'd like to visit, getting friends double up and come has proved tricky so I'm thinking it's time to just go for it. I'm a fairly sociable person but I'm not afraid of my own company ☺️ I seem to have stumbled across an interesting walking tour of Albania.. Go for it OP, l am sure you'll meet people along the way and make some great memories.

@Chrishelle is Edinburgh still on the cards? When do you go?