Convincing nervous wife to holiday with baby.

[BabyPapa]

So my LO is now 15 months old and we haven't left the UK since 2019 I feel like I'm climbing the walls!!!!

Discussed a holiday with the wife and she's initially agreed in a date flight and location great!

Problem now comes at the booking phase and she's using every excuse to not go onto make it impossible for us to book.

Does the accommodation have a cot...yes...hmmm well we need a travel cot because people will use the cot to keep bags and it won't be safe...

Getting from the airport well we can't get a taxi because I can't trust they will have a car seat...I can book one with a car seat...it might not be safe...ok public transport...but what if the bus crashes or how will we get all of our stuff on and off....ok hire a car...too expensive.

Honestly everything I say or do is followed up by another issue.

I know my wife's just worried and wants our LO to be safe but eughhhh.

Is there anyone one there with a guide to holidaying with a toddler that I can maybe show her or any advice on how to deal with her?

I'm so close to just saying F it and staying in the UK for 5 more years!

(Sorry this is a bit of a messy rant I'm out on a head clearing walk)

Go to Dubai they're so well set up for kids and you can use Careem which is an app like Uber to order taxis with car seats

I disagree - when in an all inclusive hotel especially, no chopping up and cooking food and doing washing up theee times a day is bliss!!

Oh God @Octavia64 that sounds awful! Although not totally unlike some of our trips.

I had to take DD to the doctor in France a couple of summers ago (ear infection but quite complicated). I had a friend who's fluent in French translate the main things I needed to say onto WhatsApp for me. Only to find the doctor was Bulgarian with rather limited French!

My husband & I love travelling and didn't want having children to stop that - I'm quite an anxious person but I just organised and planned a lot in advance of the trips, anticipated issues where I could and thought through solutions etc.
Honestly travelling with kids is about lowering expectations and taking things slowly and adapting. It can still be super fun and great experiences, just very different and not relaxing in the way pre kids holidays are.
We always travel with our own car seat, never had a problem checking it into the hold, though we now have a folding one since our toddler is older and can forward face, which goes into the overhead locker on a plane.
Never had an issue on public transport - does your wife not get buses/trains in the UK with your child ever?
I might just be that her expectations for a holiday = relaxing and she feels that relaxing on a holiday with a toddler is not going to happen and therefore its a waste of time & money? I know lots of people who feel this way.
Maybe try to address the root issue rather than the individual worries.

You need to be much more proactive about child safety. If you want to go abroad, figure out a way to do it where you can bring a travel for and a car seat. Using rentals is not safe for a multitude of reasons. Book a plane seat for your child. Stop pretending this isn’t common knowledge at this point, even though there are people who ignore the guidelines.

also recognize that going on holiday will just be the hard work of parenting in a new location, Except it will be even harder because you won’t be in familiar surroundings. It can be worthwhile, but it isn’t the same as before.

I hate the term ‘the wife’

I am a big fan of holidays, however holidays with babies and toddlers are hard. In a hotel what will you do in the evening? In self catering it’s same shit in a worse kitchen. They still need their naps etc. it turns into a nightmare.

They are only small for a short period then you can go wherever you like.

Where were you thinking of @BabyPapa or just don't care as long as people speak another language ? 😁

Beach and sun, hiking and activities, sightseeing and nice meals out? What constitutes a nice holiday so the advice can be narrowed down a bit.

We used Eurotunnel a lot when our kids were toddlers to go to the Dordogne. Lots to see and do, climate is good but not boiling hot. Even with a cot bed and a high chair at the other end you still seem to travel with an inordinate amount of stuff. Mostly the blasted pram I suppose, it takes up so much space.

Leave London lunchtime on a Friday, Eurotunnel [opportunity for a break UK side] and straight through at the other side. Break for a meal around 6pm, toddler into night clothes and back in a car seat. Drive until 9/10pm CET and overnight in a family room at Novotel or similar. I recommend Le Mans, Rouen, Orleans. Then about 4-5 hours the next am to self catering gite.

Return is trickier as you have to be out of most places by 10am so we either left late Friday evening and stopped over around midnight. Or found a nice spot half way and meandered back at our own pace over the weekend.

The challenge with 15mo is that they have about 10-15 mins attention span. That's a lot of CBeebies and small stuff to occupy them in a car so any journey that clashes with normal sleep times is your friend.

A colleague regularly takes his kids home to South Africa. All the flights leave UK between 6-8pm daily and arrive around 6-7am. No time change. I don't think I'd want a toddler sitting in my lap for an overnight flight though.

There's also Eurostar and TGV. You could get to Avignon and further just on a train but you'd have to travel light really.

We were thinking Prague it's in a town with lots to do in all weathers. I spoke to MY wife this morning and we are going to look at it again and have a conversation. I've said I'm happy to get on a ferry or stay in the UK until we are both happy with all of the risks.and compromise that would need to be made.

She seems happy enough and wants to look tonight.

I'll let her lead a bit and if it's getting too much I'll just suggest the lake district or something😂

The pram takes up SO much space we got a icandy and my god it fills the boot.

Not really. If you go abroad the accommodation is usually cleaned for you ime & you tend to eat out more. Just a case of keeping an eye on the lo. Mine weren't even walking at 15 months

You need a travel pram. Usually pick them up second hand pretty easily since people buy them and only use them a few times!
We got a GB pockit and it's great and so small & lightweight.

‘When she’s ready’.

Haha good luck with that one OP. From what you have described she sounds like one who will enjoy moving the goalposts. Bet she wasn’t like this when you met! Has she got a lot of time on her hands by any chance?

I would do a self drive to Northern France with your own car, car seat and travel cot. Somewhere like Normandy or Brittany. Take the night ferry from Portsmouth so you have not got too much driving to do in France

Also at 15 months you don't need the big pram on holiday. A cheap folding stroller will do just fine, so long as you can lie it down for naps.

Sounds more like you're getting wound up with your wifes legitimate questions because you want it to be easier to book like pre kids. Unfortunately, once you have kids, there are hundreds more things you have to consider when going on holiday. I wouldn't call that anxiety. I would call it planning.

It can be quite daunting to holiday abroad with a toddler, especially if you’re nicely settled into a routine with eating, sleeping etc!
Thats not to say don’t do it, just that it’s not a relaxing experience to plan or undertake, so it’s understandable it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. I think holidays abroad actually got fun from around 4 years!

I am BAFFLED by all the negativity about traveling with babies and toddlers. I love it and even when it's tricky it absolutely beats a day at the office pretending to listen on Zoom calls, wrangling spreadsheets and trying to work out WTAF the stock market is doing.

I've got a 15 month old and she's about to do her 10th flight and her 6th longhaul flight. She's already got her own frequent flyer number on several airlines! Traveling with kids is great - 5 year old DS is a pro now, he even gets his own liquids and tablet out at airport security.

However, I am very anal about safety. I always take own car seats and tend to avoid coaches where possible as I'm not convinced that they're safe for small children. DS is also chronically carsick (basically nothing works) so we avoid driving long distance as much as we can.

You can travel and also be safety conscious.

Holidays with babies aren’t holidays. Wait until they are older.

They are if you have a full time job. The whole point of a holiday is that you don't have to go to work!

Try staying at home during your time off and you might see that quality time with kids with no stress actually beats dragging them around travelling when theyre very young.

Why would you think this holiday would be fun for her if she's getting stressed about it? Just find a nice hotel near by and go for a night away and take the travelling slow

any advice on how to deal with her? absolutely disgusting phrasing

Most airlines allow you to take 2 baby items with you. Generally for us we've chosen a car seat and a buggy but if there is a cot preference then take it with you.

Most airlines allow you to book separate seats for the little ones under 2 and take a car seat on board with you.

Personally we choose car hire over transfers to provide as much flexibility as possible and not having to wait around and be dependent on others.

The driving option is totally an option too, I live in Scotland and spent most of the last couple of years driving to Europe in a motorhome with 2 kids under 5.

When I was 3, my parents took us to (new then) Disneyland in California.
My older siblings had so much fun, but I was too little, so I cried because I couldn’t go on the rides. Then my dad took me on a ride and I cried because the ride was too scary.
Evidently, I cried the entire time.
But the rest of my family had fun.
When you’re a parent, you do the best you can.

I call my DH “the husband” 🙈😆God, what a fucking bitch I am lol.

I’d try a travel agent too, or a shorter journey- France via Eurostar?
I used to travel constantly but since having DD I’ve gotten caught up in the ‘what ifs’. I don’t think it’s anxiety as such, I still go but don’t enjoy the travelling at all. I feel like I hold DD’s life in my hands and if anything happens then it’s all on me, (which it would be to some degree).

Have you asked her gently, why she’s making up excuses, would she rather not go just yet?