Holiday Hijack.

[Floyd15]

We booked to go to Majorca at the end of August for a family holiday. I'm friendly with some school mums and told them in conversation we'd booked it. One by one other school mums have booked the same area for the same week. Three kids in my daughters year have told her they're coming on holiday at the same time and the fun they're going to have etc. They are lovely families but I don't want to spend all our holiday time with them. One of the mums this week created and added me to a holiday WhatsApp group so we can coordinate activities/meals etc through the week. I don"t mind meeting them for a day to go to a theme park or waterpark etc but I want to do our own thing. My daughter is thrilled that her friends will be there but our older son is also coming and wants to do different activities. Am I unreasonable by not wanting to spend all holiday with them? I don't want to appear antisocial.

Of course you are not unreasonable. You have explained your very reasonable position quite clearly here. All you need to say is that you would love to meet up on one of the days mentioned but you also have to consider your older son and will also be arranging things on the other days which you have already promised will happen for your older son. Just hope they don't have sons your son's age and want to join you again for those activities. If they do stand firm. You can only meet for one of your holiday days. A week isn't long and families do need down time to relax and chill together. Inevitably groups of families all together waste a lot of time waiting around for each other, kids bickering, leaving someone out, adults not agreeing the fine details of where to go and timings. I wouldn't be surprised if other families only want to meet on one day as well. Holidays are expensive. Politely do your own thing and only meet up when it works for your own family. Have fun op. 💐

Thank you so much. Our son is 7 years older than the rest of the kids. I'll be politely firm and hope my daughter doesn't see the invitations via WhatsApp.😆

If there's anything your DS wants to do but DD doesn't, send DD off with her friends that day. It's a bit CF, but so was hijacking your holiday!

That would be my worst nightmare.

I would set aside one day or activity or dinner to see them, but otherwise say the holiday is family time.

Enjoy your holiday!

That would be my worst nightmare too! What the hell is wrong with people hijacking others' holidays without being invited?

No OP, YANBU at all to be totally non-committal with all these CF-ers. If they corner you ahead of your departure I'd just say you'll see how you feel once you get there, that you're planning on having a relaxing time and also have your DS to consider, who will want to do different things. And then leave it at that.

What the hell is wrong with some people?

I would honestly change my holiday stuff like this gives me nightmares but I am very antisocial

I would send a message " please do not think we are being antisocial but this is a much-needed break for our family to spend time together without the usual playdates etc. Obviously if we bump into each other it would be nice to say hello but we really dont plan on doing anything putside of our own family activities. Im sure you understand. Hope you have a fab holiday. It looks a great place!

This, or maybe arrange something for one of the days if your DD might enjoy it.

I think it is going to be hard to keep DD away from her friends. But as long as you trust the other families to take elementary care of her, I don't see the harm in allowing her to have several days with her friends, while you and DS do something more appropriate for his age (which is...?) together. There are some good activities around Majorca that might be more fun for him without a small sister in tow.

Oh my goodness, this is my worst nightmare 😭
I think I'd try to change the booking tbh

You go on holiday,when you want to spend the day doing other things,like your Son wants to do something else,you politely inform the group the night before.holidays are not cheap, and youv every right to choose what your family want to do, you can spend time maybe in the evenings with the other mums.next year keep very quiet about where youv booked.

Join the whatsapp group, mention that you think it's great they are holidaying where you are, you now have inbuilt sitters for your daughter on the days ds wants to do something she doesn't 😆
I could not even imagine doing this to any one I know, how do they not realise holiday time is family time, if you wanted them along, wouldn't you have suggested it? Strange behaviour if you ask me.
Tell them you already have an itinerary and it's immovable.

Next year, keep quiet about your holiday arrangements. "Oh we haven't booked anything but we might do something last minute" if pushed.

God what’s wrong with them. Booking without checking with you, complete lack of social competence. I wouldn’t go.

The WhatsApp group will keep you informed so you can join or avoid depending on how you feel.

YANBU of course. I can't believe the cheek of some people though! I wouldn't dream of doing that to someone without triple checking first.

I personally would keep out of the whatsapp group as much as possible unless you are asked a direct question. If probed about committing to something, just say you're a maybe as you had already made some plans with family when you first booked.

I think on the actual holiday, it would be quite easy to do your own thing when you want to as the other mums can all keep themselves company, whenever you own 'itinary' is happening. Just don't tell them exactly what you are doing whilst you are on holiday, otherwise they will clearly just invite themselves.

Dear God that would make me break out in a stress sweat. I would never in a million years do that to someone.

I wouldn’t want to sit around the pool with half my dd’s friend’s parents. What a nightmare. I book a holiday to get away from every day life. How intrusive.

@Floyd15 When you say the 'same area' do you mean the same hotel/resort/camp site whatever it is?

That is such an odd thing of them all to do! There are literally 1000s of summer holidays out there to be booked 😵

Can people stop using the word antisocial incorrectly? The word you are looking for is unsociable.

I hate people doing this….it’s awful behaviour.

Next year you'll know to keep quiet on where you're going on holiday 🤣

Jesus Christ. What kind of person has the audacity to highjack someone else's holiday?

I’d be very clear to them that you’re NOT planning to spend your whole holiday with them.
’Use’ your ds and dh and say that you need to find activities THEY will be happy with, so it’s likely that you wont join in that much.

And YY to send your dd alone if they insist. Afterall they were the ones who gatecrash your hols!!