Holiday Hijack.

[Floyd15]

We booked to go to Majorca at the end of August for a family holiday. I'm friendly with some school mums and told them in conversation we'd booked it. One by one other school mums have booked the same area for the same week. Three kids in my daughters year have told her they're coming on holiday at the same time and the fun they're going to have etc. They are lovely families but I don't want to spend all our holiday time with them. One of the mums this week created and added me to a holiday WhatsApp group so we can coordinate activities/meals etc through the week. I don"t mind meeting them for a day to go to a theme park or waterpark etc but I want to do our own thing. My daughter is thrilled that her friends will be there but our older son is also coming and wants to do different activities. Am I unreasonable by not wanting to spend all holiday with them? I don't want to appear antisocial.

Could be same hotel - rooms either side and one across the corridor ................ no escape !

Not antisocial.
Antisocial means things like playing loud music, vandalising public property, loitering with intent etc (things you'd get an ASBO for).
You mean unsociable.
Perfectly reasonable to want family time, and I would be annoyed if people hijacked my holiday like this too.

Just be careful OP that there is no quid pro quo expected if your youngest goes off to do stuff with other families

Swet lord what is worng with people?? this is my idea of hell. why couldn't they book a different holiday? do they copy anything else you do ? I would go with what @Maddy70 said. I be upfront completely aswell as that if at all possible I actually would look to change to different dates. Next year make sure you zip it when it comes to holiday talk

I read a lot os shite on MN ....

I think what this is telling you is to keep schtum about your plans. I learnt this a long time ago, when I used to tell my friends I was going on a day trip to visit my mother in my popular seaside resort town. Its only about 40 min drive so friends would decide that they would go as well and let's meet up and go down to the beach or the fair ground, the kids will love it!! One family even turned up at my mother's house!! In the end I had to stop telling people, as I wasn't going for a fun day out, I was going to visit my mother 😬😬

I come out in a cold sweat if I inadvertently bump into anyone I know at the local pool and that’s in the water or with my towel draped round me hiding the worst bits. I can’t start to imagine how awful it would be on the beach or around the pool with half the class parents! Argh! That’s the main benefit of away on holiday.

Thanks for your responses. They have booked the same area but not the same hotel. Majorca is popular and I accept you could bump into someone you know in the holidays. It was just the creation of a holiday WhatsApp group that got to me. I'll be perfectly clear that we will do one activity with them.

I'd keep quiet and if something is suggested just say you have other plans. You might want to dip into some of the stuff they are planning.

Reply on the WhatsApp group "Hope you all have a great time, it looks like a lovely location. We might bump into each other one of the days." Then ignore any plans being made.

Well that is a blessing at least, that they are not in the same hotel. Much easier to only do anything that appeals - and one day only is fine, if that's your preference.

I get the What'sApp thing was cheeky, but maybe the rest of them do want to meet up and didn't want to exclude you from the group, in case you did? They may not expect you to be so involved? I think you would be wise, to temper your daughter's expectations though, as soon as possible, since three of her friends have made it clear that they are expecting to see lots of her during the week!

Bloody hell I assume it'd too late to change. Really really poor of them to assume that you want your holiday shared with them.

At least if they're merrily 'coordinating' on WA I suppose you'll know where they are and can make sure you avoid them!

Why on earth anyone would think that's OK is beyond me.

I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill here. Just because there's a whatsapp group, this does not mean you have to plan everything together. If someone proposes dinner, you can say yes great, or you can say no thanks, we have plans with just family.

Why even bother creating the what's app group in the 1st place?? no bloody need to. this is ops family holiday no need for what's app group at all.
it's not a mountain out of a molehill. it's lazy and fecking bad planning of friends. it's up there with family trying to tag along to people's holidays. I actually can kot comprehend their mindset here. no where has the op said oh wait what about joining me on holiday? no they were having a discussion of their plans and then friends were like oh we have no brains to plan a holiday so will Copy you and go to same destination at the same time !!! ok to go to same place but at different bloody times. or else there is a whole world where they could have gone on holiday

well like pp posted, how would it look otherwise, considering other parents clearly know OPs family is there. If OP posted: "DDs 3 friends are on holidays in the same area at the same time. The 3 other girls are doing activities together, but DD is exluded and is not invited, she was so excited to spend time with her friends and is now absolutely devastated'?
If OP has no interest in joint meals or activities, it's fine to say they are doing their own thing, thanks.

My idea of actual hell and it is so so odd that they booked but nowt as queer as folk as they say.

how absolutely weird of them!
Next time be more vague on the details - maybe you’re not even sure what’s booked and the exact dates because DH/DP does the booking or because you booked it ages ago and can’t recall the plans exactly…

Stick to your guns OP. I'm sure you'll be vague about holiday plans next year.

What a nightmare!😅😱I would go off-grid.

This is the best response. There is no need to be rude or confrontational about this. You don't need to live in each pockets and it's fine to opt out and say you have family plans.

But it could be beneficial. If you were planning to go to the beach one day you may as well go the same time so the girls can play together. If they are all going to a waterpark but your son doesn't want to go that's even better as you can say this and you need to stay with your son but your daughter could tag along with them.

I booked a holiday on the back of a nursery mum telling me where she booked. But I made sure to book it when they weren't there because otherwise that's just weird!

Make it clear from the start that you are only available for 1 or 2 days maximum. To be fair, these type of holiday get-togethers rarely pan out in reality, as most families have there own plans.

Switch your phone off so you don’t receive any messages !

In future don’t tell anyone where you’re going
we learned this when family we are not keen on followed us twice