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Original poster

Leaving ds for a holiday

34 replies

jofeb04 · 01/01/2005 21:11

Hiya all,
Just after some advice. My and dh are looking at going on holiday over our aniversery break, for about 4 or 5 nights, but not to sure yet!!
My dh wants us to go away on ouw own and leave ds (who will be 15 months at the time) with my mil (dh wants a week away!). Mil is more than willing to have our ds. Im very nervous about leaving ds for this length of time, just in case(!). What would u do in our circumstances?
Thanks in advance

OP posts:

codswallop · 01/01/2005 21:12

I left mine at that age and missed him like hell
he wandered around looking fo me after I had gone
it sup to you but I think a long time and too young

Original poster

jofeb04 · 01/01/2005 21:15

hiya cods,
how long were you away for?

OP posts:

puddytats · 01/01/2005 21:16

I am going to Tenerife for a week without DS at the end of Jan. Have already left him for 3 days and although he was glad I was back he was ok while I was gone

I am feeling more guilty bout not feeling guilty and looking forward to the rest.

It is personal choice, I am lucky enough to live very close to family and they see ds all the time so he is used to them, would not feel so good bout it otherwise

hoxtonchick · 01/01/2005 21:16

dp & i went to the carribean for a week when ds was 2.8. my parents came to stay in our house to look after him. both he & they had a great time. ds went to nursery on the 2 days he normally goes. we had a lovely holiday, though really really missed ds. i wouldn't recommend being an 8 hour plane ride away.... we didn't ring during the week, but texted a lot so we knew what was going on. i wouldn't leave him for a week again, it was too long. but we do have a weekend booked in amsterdam next month. if you can, i would get your mil to stay at your house as it will be easier for ds to be in familiar surroundings. it was also easier for us that we could explain to our ds what was happening - we spent about a month emphasising mummy & daddy were going on holiday, he had to look after grandma & grandpa for us etc. and you will buy him such a big present out of guilt that he'll totally forget he missed you!

SeaShells · 01/01/2005 21:17

We left our DS when he was 20months while we went away for 2weeks, he stayed with my mum and he was fine, had a brill time. We've since let him go to stay there for a holiday every year since regardless of whether we are actually going away or not, turned into a kind of tradition. If he is comfortable with your MIL and you trust her then don't see why not!

lockets · 01/01/2005 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

codswallop · 02/01/2005 08:25

two pathetic nights!!
I am not botheres aBout gettting " me " time htough as some are

Gobbledigook · 02/01/2005 08:31

Well it's really up to you and how you feel but me, no way. I'm afraid that for me, the whole point of being a family is going away as a family and I can never understand why people would go away for as long as a week without their kids - it would break my heart anyway and I'd have a shit time.

Equally I can never understand people that go away on holiday but choose places that have creches etc so they can go off skiing or doing watersports etc while they leave the kids in care. I have friends that do this and they leave them in it quite a long time - these are kids that go to nursery all week while their parents work too so I'd have thought their family holidays were more precious than most.

Anyway, rambling. I could go away for 1 night, maybe 2 but that's it. And my kids see my Mum every day and would be fine I know, but I wouldn't.

Blackduck · 02/01/2005 08:36

I've done it a couple of times (usually work issues rather than going on holiday...) ds survives (and indeed thrives on all the attention...!) Yes, it is a personal thing and as long as you trust who they are with why not?

codswallop · 02/01/2005 08:52

well said GG

codswallop · 02/01/2005 08:53

and GG these are kids that ares ent to holiday clubs all hiliday too - never get a break poor things

Merlin · 02/01/2005 08:54

If you are lucky enough to have family who are happy to look after him then go for it - personally I think it's good for both the child and parents to have a break now and then. I'm a SAHM and left my DS at 6 months for a week (bad mother I can hear some of you say!!) and 2 weeks when he was nearly three. He stays with my Mum and Dad who live very close by anyway and he loves it. Yes we did miss him, but was on the phone every night and he got spoiled by grandparents!

codswallop · 02/01/2005 08:55

yep I think 6 months is way too early

codswallop · 02/01/2005 08:58

two wwweks btw!! dont you like him or something?

Merlin · 02/01/2005 09:01

Codswallop -In the end, it is a personal decision and only you know your child and how they and yourself will feel. I must admit though as he has got older I do feel more guilty, even if he stays away just 1 night with grandparents - so I can't be all bad!!

WideWebWitch · 02/01/2005 09:07

Jofeb04, I'd happily leave a 15 month old for a few days with someone I utterly trusted (and presumably you know your MIL is) I just wouldn't go too far away I don't think. Go for it! Merlin, I don't think you should feel remotely guilty - your ds had a nice time staying with someone who loved him, you had a nice time so I just don't see the problem. I happily let my ds go away on holiday with his father (my ex dh) and ex MIL, so what's the difference? Going away sometimes without your child (as long as they're with someone utterly trustworthy of course) doesn't make someone a bad parent IMO.

Merlin · 02/01/2005 09:10

The 2 weeks was for my 40th birthday trip with DH to the States and the actual day of my birthday we were sat on the edge of the Grand Canyon watching the sunset and I was in tears because I missed him! Wouldn't leave him that long again - but I guess I am one of those people who do need a bit of a break from him now and again and I have parents who are only too willing to have him so while they are still young and healthy enough to do it ....... by the way baby no 2 due in April - promise wont leave him/her at 6 months!!!!

Gobbledigook · 02/01/2005 09:23

You see, everyone is different I know that, and going away and leaving your child with family or whatever obviously doesn't make you a bad parent at all, but I find that a bit strange - to go away to celebrate a special birthday somewhere totally amazing but not take your child with you?

The child clearly doesn't suffer and probably has a fab time with grandparents or whoever they are staying with, but to me it's just a really bizarre concept to do something like that without your children.

Gobbledigook · 02/01/2005 09:24

Merlin - noone is saying you are bad! Well I'm not anyway! I'm just saying I personally don't understand it, not that it's wrong.

KBear · 02/01/2005 09:26

DH and I have been invited to a wedding in Scotand in May - very close friends of ours. Due to numbers they can't invite children. My M&D have offered to take care of my two who are 3 and 6, it's only for a weekend BUT I am in pieces. I've never left them before, they've stayed at my M&D's for the odd night but I've never gone away, ON A PLANE!!! I feel they are old enough to understand that they are no abandoned but I still feel guilty for swanning off to enjoy myself. On the other hand I think it would be wonderful for my and DH to have a couple of days together on our own. I suppose that since we are a family I want to do things as a family. I'm annoying myself!!

I think it's a personal choice though really, do what works for you. I can see us not going to the wedding though.....

codswallop · 02/01/2005 09:29

ooh Ithink 3 ad 6 is old eneough as you can explain to them - not have hem wandering around looking and saying "mama!"

KBear · 02/01/2005 09:29

I know but it's not them it's me!!!!

codswallop · 02/01/2005 09:30

yes I want to take all of us to the cricket world cup in the west indies as dh turns 40 - woudlnt dream og going without them

codswallop · 02/01/2005 09:30

k bear cant you do a trail run before?
send the cubs ont ot he forest for a night and you stay at home?

codswallop · 02/01/2005 09:30

lol trail - I meant trial

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