It seemed like a good idea at the time...

[HowDidThisHappenDinesh]

TLDR; need advice on how to split money for large group holiday!

Long version:
We are arranging a big group holiday for a family member's milestone birthday. about 25 of us driving from the south of England to the middle of France. There's been the expected amount of umming and ahhing and dropping out/last minute additions, I accounted for this, and also expect some level of CFery based on the number of Mumsnet threads about holiday money split stress I've ready!
So far all is going well though and everyone seems a reasonable bunch - but to prevent as much of the financial awkwardness as possible I want to set some ground rules etc and get the general vibe of what's easiest/preferable for people.

1. So far most people seem amicable to pooling money into a kitty and paying for groceries from that. I have a Revolut account that only gets used for trips abroad that I can use for this purpose, and whoever does the shopping on whatever day can take the card, or I can reimburse costs back to people. Does this seem like the fairest approach, and how much per person per day should I ask for?
2. I've delegated meal prep between adults who enjoy cooking, and cleaning up to people who don't! Breakfast and dinner will be prepared each day, with lunch as a sort of do-it-yourself/eat leftovers vibe as some of us might be out in the day. Should I also plan to provide lunches or is half-board basis ok? (I've also planned one activity per day, opt in or out, so there is some structure to the holiday for the energetic types, but no obligation for those that want to lounge around!)
3. I already know this will come up, so, some meals are slightly fancier than others and the couple preparing it said they are prepared to pay for their food. I'd like to say ok and in that case reduce their contribution to the kitty/write it off completely (they are staying only a few days, not the whole time), does this seem fair or will people kick off?

Some other context so as not to drip feed:
There's no cost for accommodation, people have to pay for their own travel and food.
Alcohol is not included in the kitty, everyone who drinks is asked to bring a bottle of spirits and a couple of bottles of wine etc.
25 people in total are coming, most are adults, a couple of teenagers and one young adult who doesn't work. Thinking of only asking the working adults to contribute to the kitty calculated on a per person per day basis.
Anything left in the kitty will be reimbursed to people. If we go through it too fast I'm not sure what we'll do.
Also, I'm aware sorting meals for everyone and dealing with money is a thankless job. I volunteered to project manage the holiday as a sort of gift for this family member, who doesn't need any gifts other than the family being together.

What has been most successful for you in group holidays? How much is fair to ask people to contribute? Haven't been to France since pre-pandemic so not sure how much grocery budget is adequate. Thanks in advance for any advice or insight!

When we do family holidays we put in a certain amount of money per family - say £100 - and we buy everything out of it, food, drink etc. People who don't drink can choose nice soft drinks. If we run out of money we all lob in another £100 or whatever and if there's money at the end of the holiday we divide it up between the families and refund it. Simple and no stress 😊

Thanks @99victoria how much £ do you normally get through? Glad to know this strategy is not uncommon!

I think the teenagers parents need to put in money for them. Teens eat loads!

Make sure everyone's passport is in order. Check out the recent hoohah in the news about people being turned back at airports because of various passport issues.

Are you sure everyone will be having both breakfast and lunch, or will there be more of a daily brunch?

Planning on only offering breakfast/brunch and dinner, and if people want lunch they can sort themselves out. I never have brunch anyways

Will remind people to check passports today, I did make sure we all had 6 months left at least when booking ferries, but a reminder never hurts - thank you!

How long is the holiday?

Agreed, they'll probably eat the most out of all of us 😂it's the DC of the guest of honour though, so I think between us we'll cover them, just have to make sure to up the amount to accommodate their appetites. But I should check the other guests are happy with this.

We often do big family holidays and usually follow roughly this approach. How many days are you going for?

A week.
Some people are only staying for the long weekend, some for 5 days, and others the whole 7 days.

I think one of the biggest expenses will be alcohol so you need a plan with this so the lightweight or non drinkers don’t get stitched.
Its amazing how many bottles of wine people can get through in a social setting.

I think you're making it over complicated.

IME big group holidays only work when everyone is prepared to go with the flow. If the organiser is a bit of a control freak (possibly,maybe?) that will wind everyone up.

When we've done it, it's been whoever happens to be at the shop gets what we need and no one worries too much about the money. It's all you got the coffees, I'll get the ice creams, you shopped yesterday, I'll do it today.

If you've got a group where that won't work, I'm not sure a group holiday is the right idea.

Is there just one kitchen or are there a range of accommodations with several kitchens?

I’d only make dinners communal, a big bbq for example and leave people to sort out their own breakfast and lunch.

Ok, so possibly as a general rule of thumb, perhaps looking at a budget per person per day across 4-5 days is a good idea - because I'm pretty sure you might go out for dinner once (twice?), or maybe a smaller group will choose to dine elsewhere.

Experience tells me that expectations of getting all 25 of you sitting and eating at the same time, 5 nights on the trot, is quite a stressful task, and I commend you for having taken it on! Likewise: lots of food can often be leftover making a second meal which sort of knocks out the need for budgeting for 5 or 7 meals for 25 in total. Booze is also a factor: we blew the budget quite quickly (on one holiday there were 15 of us) when those who took the card didn't factor in that booze wasn't supposed to be bought on it - it was fine, it all came out in the wash.

An option is to use the one card (do be careful - the preference would be that you as the card holder go with the card to the shop each time - just in case) and ask everyone for £100 per person, giving you a budget of £357 per day for all the food (for 25 of you). This would also potentially cover a meal out (without alcohol). Will there be salt / pepper / olive oil etc at the property already or will all that have to be bought there?

Have accommodated for this and we'll buy booze separately. There are a few non-drinkers, and a few heavy drinkers who will need to fund their own top up runs! Lol

In this situation we used Splitwise app. Agreed what proportion of food each family would be paying (based on numbers in each family/ drinkers or not). Everyone can then go shopping and add receipts into the app and it works out who owes who what at the end. Nice and simple. We were there for two weeks and each family cooked one communal meal each and sorted ourselves out for the rest of the time.

Thanks, very helpful after the holiday's been booked and planned and I'm asking for advice on how to ensure spending is fair. The group is easygoing, but there's definitely a few CFs who will just let other people pay and not chip in. So I'm setting up a plan now, so it's fair on everyone. Particularly don't want the guest of honour to end up footing the bill which is what usually happens!

Is everyone happy that the non working adult and teenagers (or their parents) aren’t contributing? Did you decide this, I could see this possibly being a thing if the teenagers scoff 6 croissants when they get the munchies?

This is brilliant advice, thank you so much. Looking at the budget that way seems much more manageable in my head and everyone will be happy with £100 to start.
I'm planning quite a few buffet type meals so we're not tied to meal times together and people can graze. We're in the middle of nowhere, so we'll eat at home most days, only a couple of day trips planned and people will pay for their own meals then if not enough in the pot.
I am planning on going on all shopping trips, not least because I'm the only one who speaks good enough French! 😂
Thank you so much

OK, well I think if you schedule, budget and plan for every minute you'll have far too much because people will do their own thing as least some of the time

Plan sounds good. I’ve no idea how much it will cost groceries wise. Working adults is a good start, maybe a smaller contribution from non working one?

I like the planning for evening meals, so people are turning up knowing where on the rota they sit, as it were. Cooking for 25 is a big deal so people will need to pair up with others they know well / skivvies.

I don’t quite see the point preparing breakfasts? Coordinating that for 25 people every morning seems like overkill. Maybe a couple of people might like to make an occasional special breakfast, but feels like having lots of croissants, cereal(?), fresh bread and jam etc in on the grocery shop would be easier.

Revolut card sounds good, if you keep account of what people have put in, you can reimburse any leftover.

We have done a UK version with 19 people. We had great fun planning a massive food delivery so we weren’t shopping the whole time. Can you do this in France?
One chap loved the BBQ so that was his cooking night. A few of us made salads etc. The communal bumbling about in the kitchen drinking wine was lovely.

The most stressful night was takeaway night as everyone wanted different things in different directions! This was a few years ago middle of nowhere so no Uber Eats etc.

Breakfast, people did their own as all wanted different things. Just ordered what was needed by all for delivery, eg cereal, fruit, bread, butter etc. Lunch we ate out and sorted ourselves.

Blimey OP. I think you are micromanaging this, and people are going to start to resent being told what to do all the time.

Cooking for 25 is a massive undertaking. Takes hours. When we've gone on family holidays each family section has done one evening. But that was for about 12 people, not 25! And people started prepping at least a couple of hours before the mealtime.

I think you need to take a step back, and not plan everything to the minute. Ask what people would like to do, how they would like to cook. And make them all share the cleaning!

Also be wary of being in charge of the money card.

If you read my OP, you’d see I’m planning half board for meals, and loose activities most days for people to opt in and out of if they want 🙂 and am mostly asking advice on what’s a fair amount to ask people to contribute. But thanks for your insight