Nobody spoke English and there was nothing to do

[AdoraLovesCake]

Sorry, this might sound like I am complaining when obviously in another country they won't speak much English.

I decided to go to France this summer as a single pregnant mum with a 1 year old and a 5 year old. Fortunately my friend and her 3 year old son decided to join us.

I booked in a place, by the beach in Northern France, I had been to when I was a young adult, I remember it being quite touristy but very kid friendly. Photos of the place looked like a touristy city where people would speak English.

I speak quite a lot of French and was teaching bits to my oldest daughter so she could ask for a crepe or say please and sorry and simple things like that, under the expectation that most people would speak English. My 1 year old can only speak a few words, so I am not going to teach her French. My friend speaks French well too, and her son also learnt please, thanks, sorry.

We arrived to find a really untouristy place. We unpacked and looked around the town for fun kids stuff. There was nothing. By this time I was exhausted, with an overexcited child and a screaming baby. So we hunted for a cafe or restaurant. Nothing. We went into a small bakery, asked in French for some stuff then asked in English, "Are there any children's playgrounds here?" The baker looked blank at us and soon there was about five French men shaking their heads and repeatedly telling us, "Me French"

So we left and went to the beach. No kids on the beach, just a couple and their dog. Thankfully they let the children stroke the dog. No places to buy ice cream, buckets, spades, balls, paddle boards or anything.

The next day we took the bus, still nobody spoke English and still, towns bare of tourists and kids, beaches bare of anyone and anything.

Thankfully the kids took it quite well, it could have been a whole lot worse. It's just that the research I did made it look good. Maybe I didn't do enough? Maybe I shouldn't have used my memory from 20 years ago? Maybe I should have taught my kids more French?

xxx Cora

Yes but I don’t stare at them stony faced and roll my eyes so the person gets more flustered. Me trying my best to speak some French in a bakers doesn’t make me arrogant. I have quite a strong London accent but that doesn’t give them the right to be so discouraging. And I didn’t speak louder, I’m not an idiot. I’m actually learning French at the moment (well on Duolingo lol) but struggle with the pronunciation not being French enough.

Hope you don't mind me asking, but where in France did you go? It sounds a lot like the place I just returned from. Despite my husband being a very good French speaker and helping us navigate, I couldn't help but feel disregarded and overlooked during our time there.

Ha I think the London/SE glottal stop can make French pronounciation harder. Mr Monkey (London born Irish) had a spate of French people thinking he was Dutch (Hollandais) rather than Irish (Irlandais)

Well, there's the Academie Francaise which, as fas a I remember, is supposed to do precisely that.
However modern French is chock full of slang and abbreviations as well as the regional and local accents which can be impenetrable for foreigners.
A particularly annoying one is 'verlan/verlin' (l'invers) where they invert the syllables of a word, a bit like backslang in English.

What's your AIBU? You're unreasonable for booking a holiday without doing any research, even more so with kids in tow!
I don't know your budget but if you were looking for a cheap n cheerful beach holiday I'd have gone for Spain, Greece or Turkey and chosen a tourist area. I'd go to France with a partner or a few friends/couples for walks, evening meals, conversation, wine. There are campsites etc that are more family oriented if you're set on France.

Oh well, you messed up slightly, under difficult circumstances. Happens to the best of us!

French is a difficult language, re: pronunciation. I can speak it reasonably well, read and write it pretty well, but find it very difficult to understand it spoken at normal conversational speeds. (I used to have a job that involved confirming long lists of complex arrangements over the phone in French- I used to dread those calls 😬).

I don't find people to be rude or hostile outside Paris though (and I find Paris has mellowed greatly in recent years, plus it was never personal towards tourists. They're like that to each other too). I'm wondering if all the people complaining of rudeness have unknowingly been breaking the rigid French codes of politeness? Do you all say "Bonjour" upon entering shops, and "Au revoir" when you leave? I will never forget (inadvertently) pushing in front of an elderly couple at the checkout queue in a supermarket in Brittany- it was actually a dead heat, and would have been a case of "fair's fair" in the UK, but I felt the temperature drop by 10 degrees, and the cashier's face was suddenly like stone. Whoops 😳

The problem with those saying that somewhere with no tourists or English spoken sounds ideal is that yes, that's great for adults. Just the kind of place I like to go when I'm travelling on my own. However, British kids aren't so likely to speak French, and things are going to go a lot more swingingly if they can find some little friends to play with in the park, and the language barrier can put a stop to that. We spent a week in the Auvergne last year, which is amazing, but pretty much unsullied by British tourism- we were the only English on the campsite, and the kids were a bit downcast at not making instant friends. It did force 12 year old DS to eventually get over his self consciousness and start practicing his school French though.

My friend said the same. She lived in France for several years and was fluent in French, but used to get this "I don't understand what you're saying in your unsatisfactory French" performance. This was Paris, not some isolated rural area.

I thought the same.

@JudgeRudy there isn't an AIBU. It's posted in holidays.

Standard French behaviour. And I'm married to a French man.

Firstly, older generations won't speak much honestly, especially in remote non tourist areas. No need post school - just like most of us.

Secondly they just don't, because as far as they're concerned you should be speaking French to them, not being rude Rosbifs.

This is the Holidays topic, not AIBU.

If you speak quite a lot of French, why didn’t you ask in French ‘are there any children’s playgrounds around here?’

I was wondering that. I think opinions on what constitutes 'quite a lot of French' may vary. IME in rural parts of France the locals often have a good working knowledge of English but don't see why they should use it when in France, which is fair enough. Parisians on the other hand speak more English and will scoff at your pathetic attempts to speak any French to them and will just switch into English whilst looking at you as if you're stupid.

I generalise, but that's what it felt like.

Oops, no idea how I clicked on this. Excusez-moi!

I'll second that.

Which town did you got to just as a matter of interest?
We have been using Eurocamps since my two were little and have always been brilliant. Definitely recommend.
if you ever get stuck again with communication issues just use a translate app on your phone.

jetstream so true about the regional pronunciation. I can get by in say the Loire or Brittany if I concentrate hard, but I stayed in an AirBnB in Grasse last year. The host spoke very little English, and I could not understand his Provencal accent for the life of me.

There are plenty of seaside resort type places in France but in my experience they tend to be more in the south where the weather is better in the summer.

For example here https://www.france-voyage.com/tourism/palavas-flots-1008.htm

Palavas-les-Flots charming and a haven of peace?? 😆

I ve visited France a lot and have never encountered any eye rolling in terms of my modest French. I have encountered French people who respond in English when I try to speak in French....

@crackofdoom Well indeed - a bit of tourist office soft soaping going on there! I rather liked it but I am from East Kent and love a slightly crap seaside town. TBF we only went for the day from Montpelier.

However my point is the French do have bucket and spade seaside places but they tend to be in warmer more beachy places.

It sounds like you didn't do your research about holiday locations and expected too much from people who speak their own language in their own country.

I'm sorry, but you sound really entitled to having everyone accommodate you as an English speaker in another country.

I have, and I was trying really hard to speak in French. But that was a 'me problem', so got over it and kept trying.

When I go to Brittany (Morlaix) there are lots of shops and restaurants. When I took kids of 6 upwards I taught them to buy an ice cream, stamps etc by asking in French. As they got older they got more confident to speak in French. Many shops spoke in English too. Sound's like you were just unlucky where you went.

We went to the Vendee this year which has some very bucket and spade beaches. We also stayed on a very french campsite (were the only english family) and found the staff and french families very friendly. My daughter made friends with the girl opposite - they got by with a little french and english each, lots of gestures, and some translation from parents. The family invited us over for drinks/ food, we communicated in a mixture of french and english (mainly english to be fair). They were very friendly and helpful with recommendations etc. As were the neighbours on the other side. I have reasonable french (A level a long time ago), but most of the time every time I spoke french I was answered in english. I did manage a few conversations in shops entirely in french. I have found them less friendly in Paris in the past, but we went there on the way home and also found them friendly and helpful. Everything being closed on Sunday and outside set mealtimes does take some getting used to/ planning for. This year we stopped at Rouen en route, taking food with us as it was sunday and we were expecting everything to be shut, only to go into town and find loads of bistros open (shortly after having eaten our service station banquet on the hotel room floor). Last time we went we stopped at Bayeux and everything was shut...that was 5 years ago.

I guess I am a bit puzzled as to why the beach was not enough. Honestly we used to take ours to the beach all day every day and they just loved it. They loved splashing, paddling, digging, playing ball, getting in a mess, rock pooling, building tunnels, racing about and generally wallowing in the freedom.

Children do not need "attractions" - they have imaginations and can make their own fun with the right things: balls, buckets, sieves, fishing nets, spades, cricket bats.

Your one year old would be harder to keep happy (either at an attraction or a beach), but the 5 and 3 year olds should have been fine.

YOU might be better off in Britain next time where there are touristy beaches ..... and people speak English! 😀