Holiday anxiety

[3teens2cats]

We travel in 3 days and the panic attacks started a few days ago. Hot, dizzy, feeling sick, heart racing. Can last from a minute or so to maybe half an hour. Having a couple a day and one at some point during the night.
Every time we go on holiday this happens and I just don't feel like I can talk about it with anyone. I'm not actually worried about anything specific, for example, I don't fear flying, and we are going somewhere we have been to many times before. I have fleeting negative thoughts, but I don't dwell on them and try to not reinforce them. I am actually looking forward to it, so why am I having panic attacks. I feel so stupid. Last year, I continued to have them during the holiday too which was quite upsetting so I suppose I am a bit nervous that will happen again. Is holiday anxiety a thing??

It’s a thing ! You’re not alone. How old are you ?

44, never felt like this when I was younger. Is it an age thing?

You can get anxiety in peri menopause. So that’s why I asked your age.
Do you think you’d be the same if you were having a holiday in this country ?

A couple of hypnotherapy sessions works in the lead up.

I’m the same age and get more anxious these days about silly things. Holidays is def one of them.

I think my ex partner had holiday anxiety. He always wanted to go and enjoyed holidays but always did something to try and stop it . He always left it to the last minute to get ready . He once left his wallet with half our holiday money( which I had split for safety) at home . We had nothing spare to fall back on. Once we set off to the airport in the early hours and he hadn’t bothered to get petrol so we had to drive on fumes to the services. Even travelling in the UK was the same . We set off on holiday in a car we had not long had . It was all over the place on the motorway. We stopped and I found out one of the tyre pressures was so low the car was dangerous and we had three children in there ! It was so stressful trying to get everything ready for everyone when i couldn’t depend on him.

Perimenopause is likely. It isn't as bad on for a uk break no so I suppose the stress of managing the airport etc must be a factor.

Only one teen coming this year as older 2 are doing their own thing this summer. I do worry so much more in general these days but don't normally have panic attacks. I can't pin point what I'm worried about, it's a sea of fleeting thoughts, like my brain is trying to find something to pin it on. I will keep myself busy and as distracted as I can over the next few days but I would like to just relax and look forward to it

I get this too. It takes me a while into my holiday to come down from it. It's very annoying :-(

I don't have panic attacks but I do get very nervous and tense in the lead up to holidays. I think mine stems from two sources

1. travel sickness - I just feel terrible on most forms of moving transport. People who are afraid of flying tend to be people who get travelsick (nausea feeds fear)

2. fear of the holiday not being enjoyable or restful. The thought of spending all that money and having a shit time then having to go back to work unrefreshed is just dreadful. This hasn't really happened to me. I reason myself out of this one because we always find something to enjoy even if the trip is a bit meh or there is utter travel chaos.

3. this one is actually the killer for me: fear of failing at the holiday. I dread the idea of telling people no, we didn't see X because we got lost. Or oh I didn't realise Y famous thing was there how stupid of me not to find it. It's kind of like a weird FOMO and of course it's completely insidious and embarrassing so makes up at least 50 percent of the holiday fear.

I don't know if that helps you at all, but analysing what is at the root of my fear helps me tackle it

I think mine stems from the expectation/pressure to have a perfect trip and the fear of wasting valuable time and money. I try and stay off social media at this time of year, or at least make a point of not looking at people’s holiday photos. Acknowledge and accept that things sometimes go wrong and there’s no such thing as the perfect holiday.

Turns out I had three points and didn't go back and edit! I was going to put 2 and 3 in the same point....

Thanks everyone. It does help to hear that others experience this too in some form or other.
I relate to lots of what has been said. So much pressure to have a lovely time, lots of money spent etc. When the children were little I just didn't have time to worry and just went with the flow. Now I have far too much time to myself and my brain has too much time to worry! In a real crisis I'm cool and calm, problem solve and cope well. But in my hypothetical catastrophes I can't cope.

It's beach/pool holiday in Spain, nothing crazy. Dh is being great. I don't want teen worrying about me, that's not fair on him, but he's a great kid. It's not rational, I know that

Gosh, this thread is just what I need. I didn't realise it was a thing.

I'm feeling like this - for me I think it's the pressure of having booked something, and then turning up and it not being as good - it'll be my fault.

My current fixation is worry that we won't have access to the small pool in the complex - it's three small villas owned by the same people. I can't check this as if I do and they say no access I'll feel even worse. So I'm also a major procrastinator.

I think there must be something that is causing this even if it is just the worry that this is how you will feel… like a health anxiety thing. Probably some breathing exercises to do when you get this feeling would help.

i don’t like the build up to holidays but love them once there.

however I have identifiable worries such as trying to tackle tasks such as paperwork I haven’t got round to or cleaning the house, stress of packing. I don’t get any symptoms other than that I don’t feel relaxed until we’ve left the house and at that point I start looking forward to the holiday.

on holiday I find life easier than normal as one can live in the moment without the pressure of feeling the need to be productive!

Me too. Go on Thursday. I feel sick with anxiety. Hate being like this and trying not to let anyone know as I don t want to spoil the build up for them. I'm worried about so many things. It makes me not want to go. I know from past experience that I will likely feel poorly for the first couple of days of the holiday too. Definitely getting worse with age.

I can also resonate. We go early hours of Friday morning. I am worried about waking the kids at 3am, the taxi not showing up, the hotel not being nice, getting food poisoning, kids not sleeping… the list goes on! I love researching and booking holidays and when away last year I did relax from maybe day 3 of 7!

I have been much worse since having kids and then worse again since covid. It is so bad that I feel like not going away next year even though we do ultimately all have a good time and it is probably the only time I relax. I do have general anxiety anyway (probably since becoming a mother) which I manage ok but it tends to ramp up when feeling out of control and a holiday with the airport, foreign country and different hotel etc is def out of my control. In my 20s I travelled round Australia, Thailand, America etc and here I am stressing about a week in Spain.

Sorry I can’t suggest anything but just to say you are not alone. If this is new to you then it could be perimenopause? For me I know it is just my own anxiety. Decent sleep, cutting down on alcohol and caffeine, deep breathing and exercise are things that help me xx

@Weflewinstyle thanks and yes will def do this next time! Although when looking there was only super early or super late (getting in 11pm same day then hour transfer) for all of August so I thought this option was better.
Been up since 4am this morning (and had a panic attack) so at least I am getting used to the early wake up for Friday!😫