Holidays with in laws...no or yes?

[user1469485133]

Hi!

Do you go away with your in laws?
I've been away on a family holiday with them once and it was really tough.
It included my partner and her daughter, her parents, and her autistic brother and his wife and daughter.
To say it was tough is an understatement. I had huge reservations about it, got really anxious weeks before and only did it to please other people.
I thought it was going to be a one off thing. But now they have expectations that it's going to be a yearly affair. I've managed to get out of it this year, thought my partner is disappointed with my decision and her parents have questioned why I'm not coming.
My partners previous boyfriend (of 14 years) avoided going anywhere with them. I'm much more sociable than him (I'm a woman!!) and it's lovely that they want me there too....but it's just painful for me!
I'd never expect my partner to do the family thing with my parents, even though my parents are SO easy going and easy to be around.

I'd love to hear of your experiences.

Yes, I have a generous FIL who likes to rent nice houses next to the sea for 2 weeks every year, the houses we stay in are always big with more than 2 bathrooms, they are relaxed and we do our own thing, taking it in turns to cook, FIL prefers to take us all out for a meal. Been to Camber Sands twice, he likes that row of houses on the beach.

@DisforDarkChocolate, yes I love my in-laws, they are the best. They always took my DC for 1 week holiday too, as they live in a seaside town, whilst DH and I had a romantic couple break. They are not even the DC's biological grandparents either. They are Step grandparents. They have a very strong bond with my DC though. Now my MiL is in her 80's and widowed and my DC grown up but they all drive 150 miles, 79 miles and 40 miles to visit my MiL, will stay overnight and take MiL out for an evening meal or a cream tea and they buy her flowers. She deserves it.

I would actually drown myself in the pool if I was forced to go on holiday with my in laws.

We used to go away with DH's family when the kids were very little. I used to like it – we all got ourselves there separately, shared a rented house (abroad, but near to where another family member lived), went our own separate ways during the days but ate and spent time together in the evenings. I enjoyed it. However, it did stop after there was a falling out (nothing to do with me).

Only if it’s in addition to my normal holiday and not instead of it.

It so depends on the relationship you have with them. I get on well with mine (most of the time!) but I was shocked when we went away last year with them and they seemed to not want to spend any time with us - genuinely felt like I'd pissed them off or something until DH informed me they like to have their own space on holidays. I would have actually preferred more interaction than what we got. But others would feel differently depending on whether you get along with them generally. However, I think if you don't want to go on holiday with them, your choice should be respected. Life is too short to spend time (not to mention money!) doing something you're not going to enjoy, even if it would please your partner. They will need to reach a compromise.