Would you leave a 16 years old dd alone in a hotel in New York for one evening ?

[Passelevin]

Just wondering ! She is not interested in some of the evening things we want to do. We’d leave her in the hotel, with snacks and tv

Yes I would. Teen dc, younger than yours, was recently on a school trip to NY. They didn't have an adult in their room at night time.

Your dc has a phone and can call you if she needs you.

Yes of course.

DS 15 went interrailing with his mates for 3 weeks so yes, in fact I'd be happy.

This is not necessarily true. Plenty of teens would be happy to sit in - not every teenager is hiding fully dressed under the covers to jump out and run off to ‘a gig’ like an American TV drama. I would have been happy having a night off and a hotel room to myself at that age, and would have had no money to organise a gift.

Of course I would, why not?

What a weird assumption? Maybe she'll have been out all day and would love chilling with the telly and room service.

I wouldn't think twice about leaving a 16 yr old tbh

It’s fine, just make sure she knows how to call reception if there’s a problem.

There’s nothing worse than dragging a reluctant teen out to do something that they don’t want to! Plus, teenagers need to gradually learn how to manage independently, it’s part of our job as parents to give them opportunities to do this. If she moves away for university in two years, for example, it’ll be a huge shock if she’s never done things on her own.

My DD (about to turn 18) is moving to a different state for university later this year (we’re in the US). She wouldn’t be able to cope if she hadn’t already managed on her own at times.

When I was 18 I went to Australia for 10 months on my tod. I'm pretty sure she'll be fine.

Yes, why not? When I was 16 I left London to work the season in Cornwall. No mobile phones back then so I only spoke to my parents once a week.

I went travelling on the other side of the world at 17, left home at 16, some scrapes along the way but very different from being left alone in a hotel room with my parents in the same city but out for a few hours.
Sounds like a bloody good treat to me, hotel room, telly, chill, no parents!
I wouldn't hesitate, and as someone else suggested, try and get dd to come up with stuff she wants to do so its not just your trip.

I flew to Germany on my own with a friend when we were 16 and 17. Your DC will be fine

Yes I would - although I'd make sure they could phone me if needed. I might even let them take a lift downstairs, walk to the corner and buy a slice of dollar pizza, as long as they went straight back to the room and didn't wander off to Times Square to purchase a spliff.

Lots of 18yo's travel the world independently- you need to start with baby steps of leaving an 16yo alone for the evening.

Absolutely, we sometimes let our 9 and 12 year old stay in the hotel room whilst we go to eat in the hotel restaurant (because they always want room service and we don’t). By 16, we will definitely be going to restaurants outside of the hotel and leaving them at the hotel if they don’t want to come with us!

And then wonder why mental health / anxiety / depression are so prevalent.

Kids need to learn to navigate risk and responsibility for themselves, for their own future wellbeing.

I agree, @booksandbrooks . I have a friend who is over-protective (this isn’t just my opinion, and sadly, it seemed to result in major problems when her eldest DD (now 22) went to university. She literally couldn’t cope, her parents had to visit every other weekend and then she dropped out after a term. She restarted at another uni, has now left that one and is going to a local place and living at home-nothing wrong with that, but she can’t seem to cope with independent living. No diagnoses, she just crumbles when on her own.

Her younger sister (18) also has problems, couldn’t cope at school due to severe anxiety and has been doing online learning for two years. No social life, her old friends like DD still try to keep in touch, but she’s hard work, so afraid of life and Mum is constantly hovering! It’s sad, because she wasn’t like this previously, she was in DD’s friend group at school and seemed fine.

It’s such a shame, the Mum is a lovely person, but I suspect that she has anxiety issues that she’s transferred to her children. ☹️

Thank you all - no drip feed, just wanted to know what the majority would do ! Thank you 😊

I am so pleased that I wouldn’t even be thinking about my 16 YO ‘sneaking out’. If it was mid evening and they fancied a stroll round the block or to a diner to pick up a milkshake, why not?

My Dc and their friends travelled independently round London from 12 or 13. Planned and undertook walking and camping expeditions from 14 / 15, went inter-railing at 17….

An evening in a hotel will be fine!

You do realise teenagers younger than 16 live and walk around, take the u der ground and attend school etc in NY every single day?

She will be holed up in a (probably nice) hotel with a lock on the door and security.

I had left school and was travelling with friends at 16. I don't understand this attitude at all, it's weird.

16 used to be the age where you picked up your exam results and headed to a festival or ibiza/magaluf with mates, no parents.

I will admit that having supported my kids to think, problem solve , learn skills to be safe and self sufficient, the post GCSE Reading Festival rite of passage was a worry.

They were fine though. As were the other ?K 16 year olds at the festival with them.