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Original poster

Would you leave a 16 years old dd alone in a hotel in New York for one evening ?

94 replies

Passelevin · 06/05/2023 22:15

Just wondering ! She is not interested in some of the evening things we want to do. We’d leave her in the hotel, with snacks and tv

OP posts:
Dollmeup · 07/05/2023 07:19

Yes, as long as she is sensible and doesn't have form for trying to sneak out. Make sure you are contactable by phone obviously and tell her if there's a fire alarm to go an stand close to the staff.

AnImaginaryCat · 07/05/2023 07:31

LuckySantangelo35 · 06/05/2023 23:55

@AnImaginaryCat

why would chilling in a hotel room for a couple of hours be “unpleasant”?!

Show quote history

Really? Why would a teenager find being left in a hotel room for an evening unpleasant if they were unhappy with the idea of staying in a hotel room for an evening?

Same reason anyone having to do something they don't want to do would find the experience unpleasant.

I'd have loath the idea as a teenager. I would have wanted to be out of the room, doing something in the company of others. (In the OP's situation an alternative activity to whatever my parents were doing. Unlikely I'd be interested in the same things as my parents.) However, one of my teens would absolutely love the idea.

If planning to spend several evenings "chilling" in a hotel room whilst in NY, is the OP's idea and it doesn't appeal to the OPs daughter now, then this plan is a bad one.

If this is the OP's daughter's solution then it's a good idea. (Unless of course after experiencing one evening she realises it's not as great as she thought it was going to be. But there's no real way to predict that.)

DidyouNO · 07/05/2023 07:52

I'm just going to say those people saying 'no way' either have very young children so can't possibly entertain the thought of them ever being Independent or they have only children.
At 16 I'm shocked you're even asking. Of course it's fine!

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/05/2023 08:30

AnImaginaryCat · 07/05/2023 07:31

Really? Why would a teenager find being left in a hotel room for an evening unpleasant if they were unhappy with the idea of staying in a hotel room for an evening?

Same reason anyone having to do something they don't want to do would find the experience unpleasant.

I'd have loath the idea as a teenager. I would have wanted to be out of the room, doing something in the company of others. (In the OP's situation an alternative activity to whatever my parents were doing. Unlikely I'd be interested in the same things as my parents.) However, one of my teens would absolutely love the idea.

If planning to spend several evenings "chilling" in a hotel room whilst in NY, is the OP's idea and it doesn't appeal to the OPs daughter now, then this plan is a bad one.

If this is the OP's daughter's solution then it's a good idea. (Unless of course after experiencing one evening she realises it's not as great as she thought it was going to be. But there's no real way to predict that.)

Show quote history

@AnImaginaryCat

its one evening! A few hours! I’m sure OP’s dd will be doing lots of exploring and things she wants to do over the holiday. Op really wants to do this particular thing, dd doesn’t. What do you suggest OP misses out so that her 16 year old doesn’t have to stay in a hotel room for a couple of hours?!

CurlewKate · 07/05/2023 08:36

And remember this activity is something the parents want to do but the 16 year old doesn't. Even if she doesn't really fancy an evening in the room, not everything has to revolve around her. The parents are allowed to do some stuff they want to do as well!

InaMuddle2 · 07/05/2023 08:41

It seems such a waste ... watching Netflix whilst on holiday in NYC. I'd be encouraging my 16 year old to come out with us and enjoy the city at night.

christmastreefarm · 07/05/2023 08:49

EconomyClassRockstar · 06/05/2023 22:58

My kids have been happily walking around NYC since about 13 without any adult help just like millions of other NY teenagers. They’ll be fine.

We are going to NY in October. I am taking my 12yo to an activity near ESB that her sister isn't interested in.

She is desperate to have an hour wandering round NY by herself without me cramping her style. Probably so she can take pics and send to her friends saying how cool she is.

FrenchandSaunders · 07/05/2023 08:55

What on earth has happened over the last 30 years or so to make everyone so worried and over protective with their kids!

16 used to be the age where you picked up your exam results and headed to a festival or ibiza/magaluf with mates, no parents.

Now we have people concerned about a 16 year old in a hotel for a few hours … mind boggling.

PieMashLiquor · 07/05/2023 09:04

Well of course she's telling you she doesn't want to come out with you! She'll be off with her ny boyfriend/girlfriend as soon as you have left! Or was that just me 🤣

maranella · 07/05/2023 09:25

Depends. My 15-year-old DS would go wandering if we left him in a hotel room in his own in NYC. He wanders around London with his friends all the time, so it's not much different, but would she do that and would you feel comfortable if she did?

AnImaginaryCat · 07/05/2023 10:06

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/05/2023 08:30

@AnImaginaryCat

its one evening! A few hours! I’m sure OP’s dd will be doing lots of exploring and things she wants to do over the holiday. Op really wants to do this particular thing, dd doesn’t. What do you suggest OP misses out so that her 16 year old doesn’t have to stay in a hotel room for a couple of hours?!

Show quote history

Whatever your weird focus on my posts is about Im not going to sumize. But re-read both mine and the OP's posts and you'll see:

  • It's more than one evening.
  • I'm not suggesting that the OP doesn’t do whatever they want to because her daughter doesn't.
  • The OP asked what we'd do. My answer is different to yours. I wouldn't make one of my teens sit in a room if they didn't want to (but they could if they wanted to.) You would make they - and seemly insist they enjoy it or pretend to yourself they do.
ElderflowerPress33 · 07/05/2023 10:10

We left our 14 and 15 year olds in our NYC hotel. Also split up and they got themselves back on the subway a couple of times when close to hotel.My sister and I were getting ourselves into London and back from rural Oxfordshire at their age. My dc are city savvy though, had phones we could track and a really good understanding of the subway etc. They were shattered in the evenings. Ordered fast food delivered to reception on their phones and enjoyed marathon crappy US TV sessions. Was one of their highlights of the trip.😂They always like to explore for a short while on their own in cities and wouldn’t roam at night.

ElderflowerPress33 · 07/05/2023 10:18

They came out with us in the evenings sometimes and did masses in the day. Often they’d go out early for breakfast alone v near the hotel whilst we woke up.Often by the evenings they had had enough or during the day there were things that weren’t high on their to do list and they wanted a break eg the Met which cost ££££. Pointless bankrupting ourselves to drag themselves round something they really didn’t want to do. They did the Tenement and lots of things they weren’t keen on but it’s all about balance and making sure all enjoy trips. Teens have their own ideas of what is a great trip. 😊

MissTrip82 · 07/05/2023 10:20

Fuck me some of these responses.

I was travelling across Europe at 17 (from Australia).

Utterly bizarre responses and I laughed aloud at the Pp who claimed they were usually in the ‘they’ll be grand camp’ please I doubt that very much.

Somanycats · 07/05/2023 10:24

Yes. Please tell me this isn't a real question.

Rainydaysgetmedown · 07/05/2023 10:24

And even if they did decided to sneak out, which I wouldn't have a problem with, having children who have grown up in london, if they got lost they've google maps or waze to get them back or if all else fails tell them to jump in a yellow cab and go back to the hotel. The beauty of NYC is that it's not exactly difficult to find your way round due to the grid system unless you're down in the village etc.

ElderflowerPress33 · 07/05/2023 10:29

Upper East Side of NYC where we were staying felt far safer than many parts of London and more rural cities I’ve been in.

ElderflowerPress33 · 07/05/2023 10:32

In 2 years time many 16 year olds will be living alone at Uni and navigating fairly gritty cities.

HauntedPencil · 07/05/2023 10:39

CurlewKate · 07/05/2023 08:36

And remember this activity is something the parents want to do but the 16 year old doesn't. Even if she doesn't really fancy an evening in the room, not everything has to revolve around her. The parents are allowed to do some stuff they want to do as well!

Exactly. FFS she's going to New York and will no doubt have a lovely time. It's her choice not to go.

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/05/2023 10:43

InaMuddle2 · 07/05/2023 08:41

It seems such a waste ... watching Netflix whilst on holiday in NYC. I'd be encouraging my 16 year old to come out with us and enjoy the city at night.

@InaMuddle2

its her choice to not go 🤷‍♀️

YunaBalloon · 07/05/2023 10:54

Yes, absolutely.

CurlewKate · 07/05/2023 10:55

One of my children always liked some down time when we travelled. He would have found too much New York overwhelming and would have enjoyed the next day so much more after a quiet evening on his own.

Doggymummar · 07/05/2023 10:58

So long as you appreciate she is not going to stay in. She'll be off to a gig, or shopping out to a diner etc and you know what? She will be perfectly fine. Why not let her take a friend? Safety in numbers

Bbq1 · 07/05/2023 11:16

DidyouNO · 07/05/2023 07:52

I'm just going to say those people saying 'no way' either have very young children so can't possibly entertain the thought of them ever being Independent or they have only children.
At 16 I'm shocked you're even asking. Of course it's fine!

My ds doesn't have siblings and has always been more independent and mature than a lot of his friends with multiple siblings, so the 'only children' comment doesn't ring true. Some parents just treat older teens like little children fsr. For example, there's a thread running about bedtimes for 15 year olds...

CurlewKate · 07/05/2023 11:23

As far as teenagers go-I disagree with "safety in numbers" Mine were far more sensible on their own!