Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Original poster

AIBU - Seating on Airplane

61 replies

Abidan68 · 10/01/2023 18:21

Just got back from a hols in the USA with a lovely couple but they are very much of the view that they do what they want to do and it is all about them.

get on plane for return flight and there are seats booked - 3 at the front in a row then one at the side next to 2 other seats which are slightly set back

friends and husband take the 3 seats without any discussion or “do you mind” about me sitting on own and they all unpacked bags/got settled and I just stood there. I know the other female in the group would never have sat on her own and her husband wouldn’t have allowed her. I am steaming that there wasn’t even a discussion about the seating and cross with my husband that he didn’t actually say anything. There were people around us and therefore I felt I had no choice but to sit down

they all sat and chatted and had a laugh and I just sat there

it had been a long day to maybe Uber sensitive but am I being unreasonable that my husband should have at least showed some sort of display of caring for where I sat? I raised with him on way home in car and I am now getting the silent treatment

AIBU?

OP posts:
QueSyrahSyrah · 10/01/2023 19:25

Which seat was allocated to who? If the sole one was 'yours' then you're being unreasonable, if it was one of theirs then they are, but the time to say something was then.

Rare is the time that DH and I exchange a word on flights anyway, he's in whatever movie he's downloaded and I'm in my book. Wouldn't make a jot of difference if we weren't sat together (and fairly often weren't not).

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 10/01/2023 19:28

YABU, first world problems OP

pizzaHeart · 10/01/2023 19:28

Which seat was allocated to you?

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 10/01/2023 19:38

Sitting by myself wouldn't have bothered me at all, but I wouldn't have even considered going on holiday with a couple who are only interested in what they want. In fact, if I had been on holiday with people like that it would be better for me to sit apart from them to avoid any air-rage incidents.

I do think it's a little tough on your DH to have been angry with him if you didn't say anything at the time. You could have asked him to swap with you part way through the flight for instance. You need to use your words and not expect him to be psychic.

ICanHideButICantRun · 10/01/2023 19:41

mynameiscalypso · 10/01/2023 18:30

I can't be the only person who would be incredibly grateful at having the solo seat surely?

Especially if the other option was sitting with those dicks.

LeroyJenkinssss · 10/01/2023 19:42

was This discussion not had when the flights were booked and seats selected or when checking in? Or at some point when sitting at the terminal? Because in the aisle when everyone is trying to board is most definitely not the time.

as has already been asked - did everyone sit in their assigned seats or did someone sit in yours?

ICanHideButICantRun · 10/01/2023 19:42

Which seat were you allocated, OP?

FurAndFeathers · 10/01/2023 19:47

I’m totally baffled by this
why can’t women sit by themselves?

why wouldn’t her husband ‘allow’ it?

why are you angry that your DH ‘allowed’ this?

what is your proposed solution?

why does sitting alone make you so angry?

why is it his responsibility to asses where you sit?

Do you have a disability or some additional needs?

were you flying from the 1950s?

so many questions!

UsingChangeofName · 10/01/2023 19:48

YABU for expecting your dh to sort it out
YABU for it bothering you in the first place
YABU - if it did bother you, not to say so at the time
YABU - if you think this is an issue - not to have booked the seats as 2 and 2 in the first place, or at least spoken up and mentioned that as you are acting as if you are about 5, you probably shouldn't be left on your own (well, across the aisle from the others) on a flight, when the seats were being booked.

bellac11 · 10/01/2023 19:51

Im dead fussy about where I sit on a plane, hence I book my own ticket, pay extra for seat allocation on booking, pay extra for big seats and extra legroom and ensure I have the window seat

Did you do any of that OP

SquirrelFan · 10/01/2023 20:20

YANBU at all, and it's not got to do with being female or old-fashioned. You and your husband are married for a reason - to look out for each other. He definitely should have checked in to see if you were fine being the odd one out (and he or someone from the other couple probably)should have offered to swap at some point). You would have done the same for him!

notimagain · 10/01/2023 20:27

LeroyJenkinssss · 10/01/2023 19:42

was This discussion not had when the flights were booked and seats selected or when checking in? Or at some point when sitting at the terminal? Because in the aisle when everyone is trying to board is most definitely not the time.

as has already been asked - did everyone sit in their assigned seats or did someone sit in yours?

Fundamentally as long as the group members sit in the seats the group has booked the exact identity of who sits in which seat doesn't generally doesn't matter to the airline or crew so the fine detail could be sorted out even as late as waiting at the gate....

OTOH trying to suddenly decide trade seats during boarding doesn't go down to well.

bellac11 · 10/01/2023 20:32

SquirrelFan · 10/01/2023 20:20

YANBU at all, and it's not got to do with being female or old-fashioned. You and your husband are married for a reason - to look out for each other. He definitely should have checked in to see if you were fine being the odd one out (and he or someone from the other couple probably)should have offered to swap at some point). You would have done the same for him!

What?

Someone had to sit on their own

If she would do the same for him, then essentially she did do the same for him so he wasnt sitting on his little lonesome.

FurAndFeathers · 10/01/2023 21:21

SquirrelFan · 10/01/2023 20:20

YANBU at all, and it's not got to do with being female or old-fashioned. You and your husband are married for a reason - to look out for each other. He definitely should have checked in to see if you were fine being the odd one out (and he or someone from the other couple probably)should have offered to swap at some point). You would have done the same for him!

If that was the case then why isn't she complaining about her DH not offering to swap with her?

GraceAnatomy · 10/01/2023 21:27

Surely you'd know in advance your allocated seating? Check in desk would have been best place to ask if you didn't.

My family have flown a quite few times UK to USA and back again by different flight providers.

Virgin requires advanced seating reservations or theyll generally scatter you about the plane. (often prebooking seats us paid for and changes can be done online).

Aer Lingus - we had assigned seats in advance all together, but we changed them through our travel agent to be more suitable for our needs. (Free changes/seat allocation wasn't paid for)

United Airlines, again, assigned seats that were together but ability to log on U.A website and swap around depending on availability. (free seats were an option and plentiful, but you could upgrade to a more 'premium seat' in economy for a fee)

A long haul flight like this would be something you'd check prior to leaving and contact your Travel agent to see if seats could be switched.

Be prepared next time, or open your mouth and speak up if there's a problem instead if silently seething on a long haul flight.

YABVU.

TheChosenTwo · 10/01/2023 21:29

I think you may be tired and over sensitive, this all seems a bit pathetic!
someone had to sit on their own (in peace and able to switch off and not have incessant conversation, I mean if you’d all been on holiday together and this was the return leg it’s hardly like you needed to catch up and chat because you hadn’t seen them for ages), this person was you.
For the love of god why don’t people speak up at the time and instead choose to stew over things for hours and hours?!
And what is the problem with having the separate seat?
I hate flying but will sit anywhere I’m put on a plane, everyone’s getting to the same place at the same time. I often volunteer to swap with someone if there’s a moan about seats (ie someone booked an aisle seat but someone else (NOT ME!!) has sat in their seat and refuses to move then I’ll give up mine for them so we can just get moving and to the destination quicker) - this also means I sit on my own away from dh and the dc 😂 win win!

WandaWonder · 10/01/2023 21:32

mynameiscalypso · 10/01/2023 18:30

I can't be the only person who would be incredibly grateful at having the solo seat surely?

+1

LordSugarTits · 10/01/2023 21:33

@Abidan68 are you coming back to drip feed that you were sitting in your allocated seat as per your boarding card yet?

Ragwort · 10/01/2023 21:35

Failing to see what the issue is Confused - can you really not sit on your own during a flight?

Ladybug14 · 10/01/2023 21:46

mynameiscalypso · 10/01/2023 18:30

I can't be the only person who would be incredibly grateful at having the solo seat surely?

It would be my preference!

However i do think zero discussion was weird. Why didn't you say something why didn't you speak up OP?

Luana1 · 10/01/2023 22:33

Zero discussion is not that weird if everyone was sitting in their allocated seats. We'll have to wait for the OP to respond I guess..

HoppingPavlova · 07/03/2023 01:57

I’m confused. Did someone sit in your allocated seat? If so, why not ask them to move? If it was your allocated seat and you didn’t like your allocated seat why didn’t you book one you wanted where you wanted?

DifficultBloodyWoman · 07/03/2023 04:00

But, but, but…you got the good seat???

Aisle seat, no need for small talk but close enough if you want to chat.

You won the airplane seat lottery! (Economy version, a jackpot win would be upgrade to First, obviously).

Original poster
Abidan68 · 07/03/2023 16:49

Ok responses as follows:
i didn’t book seats - my travel companion did and explained that she had booked 4 together. Wasn’t practical to check aeats etc as element is Trust etc and she thought 4 seats were together in good faith

They weren’t together and my seat was on its own but we were a group travelling together

I have no issue sitting on my own; my issue is with no one in the group speaking or acknowledging that I had to sit on my own

Maybe it is childish or pectulant but what happened to kindness and checking that a member of your group/your wife is ok with what is happening

I suspect those that don’t agree will make their feelings clear but my issue is with just treating people with consideration!!!!

OP posts:
DoesItHaveKosovo · 07/03/2023 16:57

“Oh shit - someone’s going to be sitting by themselves, clearly. Any takers, or shall I go first and I’ll swap with Fred or Moira after a while so I can sit with Husband?”

use your words.