I lied to school about children sickness and went on holiday

[kgabe]

So before anyone decides to go hard on me, I have never ever lied about kids sickness before. I don't know why I did it this time, I guess money is tight, we worked hard to be able to afford the holiday, but still could not afford the holiday in half term, so we decided to take kids out of school for 3 days. I reported my children to have sickness. And off we went.
But unsure why, probably based on their hunch, school called me the next day. I did not answer, just sent them a message instead. But they replied they got an international ringing tone....ooops... i did not even reply to that. When we got back I got a letter suggesting I lied, that kids were on holiday instead of home poorly, etc. I don't know what to do, I hate lying and I regret not telling the truth, but has it gone too far now to just admit I lied? I can also expect the fine for my children, well tough I suppose. But I feel like a criminal, like I did something unspeakable. But I only allowed for my family to have a wonderful time together, we has such a great time, it is really priceless. My kids are both doing great academically and their abscence was above 95%. What is everyone's take on it? Should I own up now? Or deny it still.... And are they allowed to question my children without my permission about it?
Thank you

We are in Scotland and have none of this - we took our kids on our honeymoon 3 years ago, 8yrs and 5yrs at the time. We called the school to say they would be missing 5 days of school, and there were no issues.

@JustMaggie the time rings different to our normal ring instead of ring ring it sort of goes burrburr and for longer

@JustMaggie

You’ve never heard of the fact that when you go abroad people will usually hear a different dial tone when they ring you?

Have you never called anyone when they’re travelling?? A different dial tone is normal.

Why carry on making it worse by continuing to lie?

Hi. I'm a journalist for UK press. I'd really like to write a piece on this. Can we chat this morning? Thanks!

Not a very good journalist. What dull shit you write about.

It’s already in the Sun. So lazy.

Is that an actual joke? She didn't do anything wrong. The "rules" are ridiculous and they are her children. Hers. Not the schools. She didn't specify which illness either. She didn't lie about something awful or for financial gain or to defraud anyone!
OP- I would just ring the school and say "I'm aware of the barrage of messages and calls about this, I'm happy to discuss. The children were feeling unwell before our holiday. We kept them off as per the sickness policy of the school. You can self certify as an adult for 3 days in a workplace, I would presume the school have something similar and just leave it at that. The whole thing is a joke.

100% this.

You got caught lying. Behave like a grown up and own up. Sets a good example for your kids also.

You were away, kids were home with Dad 😏

So you were upfront & honest.

Are they asking you to fill out a holiday request form afterwards? Or have I misunderstood your updates?

If so I wouldn't bother. You went away, you know it, they know it. Nothing to gain by filling out a retrospective request just for them to reject it anyway.

While I feel bad that term time hols are disruptive for the teacher I don't feel bad for doing it occasionally.
I think there's great benefits of a family hol and almost all experience is educational. It isn't, and shouldn't be, limited to a classroom.

Apologise for any disruption of their missed days and offer to cover the work they've missed if necessary. And just be glad you had a nice hol. Schools have to be OTT under the gov guidelines. Don't take it to heart.

Did the letter say you had to respond or be fined? I would just ignore it. If they have no recourse except to keep sending you letters, why bother responding. I get why you might feel guilty but it's three days. Don't make a habit of it and move on.

I work in a school office and I always know when parents take their kids out and lie. It's usually before or after a school holiday also if there are siblings it's more obvious. I usually do a little call to check the ringtone and am usually right. If its a holiday in this country then I can't prove it but kids usually tell us when they get back. We don't fine either so don't know why they lie.

I think this is ridiculous. I work in a private school and nobody gives a monkeys when kids are off on holiday. This is because it doesn’t fundamentally affect their education. Parents who want their kids to keep up with work ask for work to take others don’t. Not a thing in our sector, whole thing is ridiculous trying to criminalise parents for a normal activity.

If you don’t fine, why all the snooping? Gives you something to do? Who cares if a family decides to have a few days for a holiday and the kids miss PE, colouring in and being sat in front of a film. No one’s business in what is a free country

Private schools are different, for very obvious reasons. Apples and oranges.

It's no different just because someone sends their kid to school how do you know if the parent sits and does homework with their child or pay for extra activities?

You don't. Your just assuming here. This isn't about a child missing education.

What are you on about?!

the PP would have likely been referring to fact that private schools are not subject to the same absence reporting that state school system!

I work in a school, I've heard from staff at multiple other schools as well say the same thing, that it's better to call in sick than to request holiday.
If you request then they have to say no. If you call in sick they have option to accept it OR chase it.

Because it's not strictly about holidays. It's about school attendance. Most LA's don't fine for just one holiday, even if it happens every year. There might be a warning letter , about the possibility of being fined, but most schools and LA's try to be sensible.

You might never leave the house, but if your kid missed enough school , you will still get fined. Yes, holidays in term time are being discouraged,but the real aim is to stop persistent absences and lateness. It's a safeguarding issue too. Sometimes if you throw in a half term there are children (in not the best situations) that we don't see for 3/4 weeks. Or we had parents that were abusive that simply kept their kids at home until the bruises/wounds/scratches healed or weren't as obvious.

But the new guidance from 2022, to become legislation in 2023 includes independent schools. assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1073591/School_attendance_guidance_May-2022.pdf

Friend of mine works in primary school and has to send these letters. They’ll have already noted it down as “unauthorised” so it makes no difference now whether you apologise or not, you may feel better “coming clean” and just saying what you’ve said here, everyone’s human, we all make mistakes.

I wouldn’t worry too much if their attendance is already good. You might get a fine, you might not - depends on the council, not the school.

you won’t be first and def not the last.

Oh yes, and my child’s teacher was absent on the final day. On holiday.

I doubt that as a parent you'd get to hear the details of why the head approved that. There are usually good reasons. How do you know they weren't attending a wedding abroad? Maybe it was one that had been postponed from lockdown and the last day of term had had to be guessed by the person planning the original wedding? How do you know the teacher wasn't travelling abroad to eg see a grandparent who was on their death bed? Or go off a day early because they'd had a miscarriage or some other personal trauma very recently and had been hanging on till the end of term so that there was continuity for your children's education? Or they had an operation scheduled for later in the holiday so that was their only day to travel? Perhaps their spouse has a very restrictive job and was going to be eg tied up with a court case for the rest of the school holidays. Maybe someone in the family has a terminal illness and had just been told there was nothing more that can be done and to go and make some nice memories with their family like a last holiday together. etc etc.

So many parents just think the worst of schools and teachers, it's sad. They work damned hard in that last half of the summer term to give your children nice treats like trips out and party days and school fairs etc, and by the last day they are absolutely on their knees. If there was good reason for the head to allow them a day off they'd be absolutely gutted to know that parents were gossiping and slagging them off behind their backs without knowing the full story.

just thought of another possibility - many school staff fly out on holiday later on on the last day of term, or maybe early next day. Airlines do change flights sometimes to an earlier or later flight and you have no say in the matter. That could have happened.