I lied to school about children sickness and went on holiday

[kgabe]

So before anyone decides to go hard on me, I have never ever lied about kids sickness before. I don't know why I did it this time, I guess money is tight, we worked hard to be able to afford the holiday, but still could not afford the holiday in half term, so we decided to take kids out of school for 3 days. I reported my children to have sickness. And off we went.
But unsure why, probably based on their hunch, school called me the next day. I did not answer, just sent them a message instead. But they replied they got an international ringing tone....ooops... i did not even reply to that. When we got back I got a letter suggesting I lied, that kids were on holiday instead of home poorly, etc. I don't know what to do, I hate lying and I regret not telling the truth, but has it gone too far now to just admit I lied? I can also expect the fine for my children, well tough I suppose. But I feel like a criminal, like I did something unspeakable. But I only allowed for my family to have a wonderful time together, we has such a great time, it is really priceless. My kids are both doing great academically and their abscence was above 95%. What is everyone's take on it? Should I own up now? Or deny it still.... And are they allowed to question my children without my permission about it?
Thank you

Deny deny deny. Fuck em.

Of course there is such a thing! I do attendance at my school and it's always very obvious when someone is out of the country as soon as you ring their phone, unless they have it switched off.

OP, if I were you, I would just admit it to the school. And apologise for not being transparent. In future, if you must have a term-time holiday, take your child out towards the end of the school year, because if there attendance has been good through the year then the percentage absence till not appear to be too bad.

Timing is everything. Any pupil who has been off this in the first half term of the year will have a bigger percentage absence than one who has been in all year but then is off 3 days at the Whit half term. If your child is off for a week during the first Autumn half term then that's what, something like 86% attendance, because there's only been 7 possible attendance weeks. Your child then falls into the "persistent absence" bracket, and then their attendance will be monitored which means you'll feel bad when you feel pressured to send them in when they are REALLY feeling under the weather. Any other genuine sickness you'll be asked to provide medical evidence for their absence.

Just be transparent. Schools know that children benefit from holidays. If you are going to take your child out, send a polite letter with the dates, and saying you realise this will go down as unauthorised absence.

By the way, if any parent does send a letter into school stating they are taking their child out on holiday and realise that it will be unauthorised absence, do NOT, whatever you do, ask in that letter if the teacher could set work for them to do so they don't fall behind. Why do you think the teacher should put themselves out doing that? They turn up every day ready to teach your child, even if they're feeling like crap, because 30 families are expecting them to be there to provide an education to their child. So if you have chosen to NOT send them in then don't you think it's a bit cheeky to expect them to put extra time aside to set work especially for your child? Be honest with yourself, if you really were that worried about them falling behind you wouldn't be taking them out of school, would you?

Most parents argue that family holidays can be a cultural learning experience, so just teach them things around that instead if this is your argument for it being beneficial. A bit of the local language, or about the history or geography of a place, or what happens in an airport etc. Get them to read to you etc etc.

I wouldn’t worry about it. In June I went to Majorca with DH. Next aisle on plane Mum with a child aged around 8/9 who looks fine. Plane lands around 9.30am and is just coming to a stop. Phones connecting to a signal. The woman in next aisle is obviously ringing the school and says very loudly the child can’t come to school as he has Covid and in line with guidelines would be off all week. Hangs up, picks up bag and she and child leave the plane 😳

Because all life lessons are learnt in school aren't they! 🙄

We took the kids away over the weekend and didnt get home until today, I rang school this morning (yesterday was an inset day) and just said they wouldnt be in but will be back tomorrow, i didnt say they were sick or make any excuses because the kids will tell everyone about their very exciting trip to a theme park and castle and on a boat so didnt see the point of lying. They can send me as many letters as they like we couldnt afford to do it at any other time and my kids had 100% attendance.

The only part you were unreasonable about is lying

I work in a primary school office. We would always prefer parents to be honest. Our policy is not to fine parents who are honest with us. It’s also a question of safeguarding; we need to know that children are safe.

Ask for the school policy but my understanding is you only get a fine for 5 days off. I asked for 1 day off so my daughter can attend my graduation. She has 100% attendance but they said it would be unauthorised, recorded as family holiday. They did say no further action would be taken.
They probably will ask the kids, but to be fair, kids could drop you in it anyway. you should have called each morning to report the absence and not assume that one call would be enough.

I wouldn't worry. We went on a 10 day holiday, and the school didn't say anything. Our child is 6, and we simply said he wasn't well.

Just DON'T post anything online, or tell anyone.

Exactly this. You need to play smart, no fine for missing 9 sessions and under. Children will always let it slip 'we had a great time in Spain, oops, Im' not supposed to tell you am I?' Not a great example to your children to expect them to lie.

By completing the form the school knows why they are absent and doesn't have to make a call to ask why they are not in. Schools don't like fining either, its the local authority that make the rules and get the money.

Own up I think
i told our head before we went early in summer as we were meeting foreign family
with different school holidays .
She said : we can’t authorize it but we understand families have their commitments too. Which I thought was v human

like you, we had always been v kosher

Stuff the school!
you lied because you felt you had to which is ridiculous anyway. I hateee this attitude of answering to schools - they are your children! They don’t care about your kids they care about the schools attendance record so tell them
what you want. Or tell them nothing? Its done now and they’re just trying to get under your skin so that you don’t do it again. That’s the only card they have to play and it’s pathetic. Your holiday was worth the family time so stick to your guns and tell them to f off (nicely)

As a child of parents who used to take me on holiday ALWAYS out of term time ... they'll be fine lol plz don't stress. I missed quite a bit to holidays and still got great gsces, a levels and degree and a good job. Whether you lie or not, up to you. It's your life !

I like her style.

I used to take this all terribly seriously, valuing each precious moment of education. Then came lock down 1 - no work set because apparently children are just like plasticine, so adaptable and able to catch up. Lock down two came. Ok for 25 classmates to go in but not my child! Home was the best place for them then and I wasn’t to worry as this was apparently equivalent to being in school despite both parents working full time So, meh, telling fibs isn’t the smartest move but next time just tell the school you are taking unauthorised absence. That’s what I would do albeit with some boundaries, not missing key events, key exam years or chunks of full weeks. Oh yes, and my child’s teacher was absent on the final day. On holiday.

For once, instead of being a post in aibu that isn't an aibu, this really does belong in aibu.

That's not correct.
All authorities have different policies. They can, and many do, issue penalty notices for much less than 10 sessions

You weren't wrong to take them out for a holiday but wrong to lie. The school need to know the kids are safe hence checking up each day, it would be much less work for them if you'd just been honest. I wouldn't double down, but it's happened now. If confronted you probably just need to admit it and apologise. If they aren't looking for a reply just ignore it.

She was right to lie, Why should she pay a fine?

Ringing home each day is part of safeguarding: Safeguarding - Keeping Children Safe in Education, the safeguarding policy schools have to follow means schools are responsible for checking each day. Just tell the truth OP! Posters here have no idea the governmental and ofsted pressure on attendance right now, it’s just part of the system we are all stuck with.

Good morning if your child in reception isn’t 5 years old yet there’s nothing the school can do as only once they turn 5 is it compulsory he/she attends every day (I work in a school) as regards to the rest of it maybe own up and tell them the truth??

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 oh the judgment of mumsnet. A bunch of unhappy women who take any opportunity them can to bring others down.

just fess up and face the fine. Hope you had a great holiday

You lied, you should have just told the truth. Tell the truth now explain why you did it take any “punishment” and teach your kids about owning up to mistakes and doing the right thing.

A 1000 times this.

One email a day for three months, no further help. Both parents working full time at home trying to home school. “They’ll be fine”. After years of “if they miss one day it makes a difference forever”.

Will never take their threats seriously again.