My parents want to take my 16mo on holiday

[Stressedmu]

My mum and dad have offered to take my DS on holiday next April when he will be 16mo, he’s currently only 9mo and has never been away from me for more than a night at a time, I don’t know how I will feel by then but not sure what to do, I know my parents will look after him and know him as well as I do.

i don’t want to hold him back from new experiences but I think I will just miss him too much😭 I’ve got him at my hip 24/7 and could go a break on the one hand but I feel as if the full time I will be upset

I can’t go as I’m at uni doing nursing and will be on placement at this time so they would usually help with childcare too so I don’t know if they need to take him for childcare purposes as well, looking for a bit of advice

If you feel worried or uncomfortably at the thought, just say 'Thank you so much for offering but I am not comfortable with this yet' and stick with it. You do NOT have to agree to this just to please your parents. You need to learn to trust your own instincts and to stand up for your DC over pleasing other people. It's very individual but I would not have been ready for my DC to be taken away from me on a holiday yet at that age either. No way at all

If he was 8 I’d say let him go, new experiences are good! But he’s an actual baby and doesn’t need new experiences away from you on holidays. Nothing wrong with letting him go if that’s what you want, but he’s too little to get benefit out of going away without you, I wouldn’t have let mine go at that age.

Why don’t you go with them?

if your son could vocalise his opinion on this, he would say no.

Erm- no.

Says in her last paragraph:
I can’t go as I’m at uni doing nursing and will be on placement at this time

Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable with my 20mo DD going on holiday with my mum and she adores my mum. IMO they are a baby and are ideally best with their parents UNLESS the parent decides they need a break.

16m feels too little to me- they are still babies at that age. From 4 my eldest has gone away for a week with grandparents and loves it but found the first time a bit daunting as a very confident child with a good relationship with grandparents.

They are your parents, just be honest!
You can start off with an overnight stay, if you feel ok with that in due course maybe you could do more but no one would expect you to say yes if it makes you feel anxious.

Is there anyone else who could look after him?
Where would they be going?

Such a good point!!

How far away do they plan to go and how long for?

A weekend a couple of hours drive away would be worth a try. A plane trip for a week is a very different ball game.

It's very normal and very natural to not want to be separated from our babies and young children (and vice versa). It's not unreasonable to decline this offer.

But I imagine you'll need to get your thinking cap on RE childcare for the duration of your placement if they can't/won't take their holiday at another time.

You’re only childcare is going on holiday so how are you going to look after him when you are on placement?
as you say they know him as well as you do let them take him on holiday he will have a great time and you get a break plus childcare and you can concentrate on ur placement Maybe even a meet up with friends x

Just say to them- no he’s too little. Maybe when he’s older. That’s all you need to say.

@edgeware How could you possibly know that? You don’t know Opie or her child and it’s a pretty silly statement to make about someone you don’t even know
My dd loves my dad and Mum so much Would jump at the chance of going on holiday with them

The only reason to agree is if you have absolutely no other childcare.

He won't remember it
Toddlers are notoriously awful on holiday as they hate the change in routine
He isn't used to being away from you

There is nothing in this holiday that actually benefits your DS.

He’s really little still. I’d make other arrangements with childcare (see if your uni or placement has a nursery, I did this as a mature student) and politely decline.

How long is it for ?

To be honest, if you're reliant on your DPs for regular childcare you might have to say yes, or else they won't be able to have any holidays.

Nope. Yiu have no idea how you or he will feel by then. Not much of a holiday if he screams for hours for you on night one and they still have to go through the rest of the holiday. If it was booked nearer the time you would have a better kdea of whether it is something you are comfortable with or if he gets separation anxiety. Organise alternative childcare while they are away.

My son is 15 month no and I wouldn't even consider this so don't feel bad about saying thanks for the offer but maybe another time

I'm a huge advocate of travelling with young children but even I struggle to see how being separated from you for this 'new experience' would benefit your DS at such a young age. He will still be almost a baby. It sounds like they are getting ahead of themselves a bit - even waiting just another year would make a massive difference to your son's ability to engage with it and understand what was going on (and that he would be coming home to you after his holiday).

This is a 16 month old baby! They have no concept of “going on holiday” at that age.

I wouldnt be able to rest for being on high alert and anxious the whole time, so would be a no from me.

Is this a few days a couple of hours away or is this a fortnight abroad?
A few days a couple of hours away then great.
A holiday abroad (regardless of length)- NO.