Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Original poster

Holiday without Dad

30 replies

AnxiousMamaBear · 19/08/2022 03:30

My partner and I have a 6 yo. Recently my sister has asked us if we would like to join her and her partner and kids on holiday to Florida to go to Disney. My partner doesn’t want to go as he doesn’t like ‘fairground rounds’ but I really want to go and take our little one. I think she would love going with her cousins. He even said, you go and I’ll stay here. What would you do? Would you go? To me it’s ringing alarm bells, why wouldn’t he want to come and see how happy it would make our little one!?

OP posts:
Cantbelieveit101 · 19/08/2022 03:33

I recently took our three kids away without my husband, he couldn't take time off work as we got closer to the date (own business), we had a great time.

They still had a great time and we saw everything we wanted to.

Do it.

Better him staying home than him being there and not being happy.

badbaduncle · 19/08/2022 03:36

Do it!

Rover83 · 19/08/2022 03:38

I regularly take my 3 kids away without DH. He doesn't enjoy visiting new places much and finds it all really stressful so he often decides not to come. I think it's great your DP can acknowledge its not something he'd enjoy rather than forcing himself to go and being unhappy or uncomfortable

redtshirt50 · 19/08/2022 03:38

I went on a similar holiday with my cousins once and it was really fun - why would you let your little one miss out because his dad doesn't like fairgrounds?

I also think it's strange your DP would miss out on a holiday like that with your son for such a little issue. He doesn't have to go on any rides?

ChloeKellyIsAnIcon · 19/08/2022 03:42

My DH would definitely feel the same as your DP about a trip to Disneyland. Personally I wouldn't go without him, but that's partly because I wouldn't have anyone else to go with. If you really want to go (and can afford it, can get the time off, get on well with your sister etc) then why not?

Original poster
AnxiousMamaBear · 19/08/2022 03:45

This is what makes me uncomfortable, why would he want to miss the joy our daughter will get from it? If he doesn’t want to do something he won’t do it. I do stuff all the time that’s not for me but for the imprirtant people in my life, if it makes them happy! He never comes to family meet ups with my family either. 😔

OP posts:
ChloeKellyIsAnIcon · 19/08/2022 04:53

Some people really hate the idea of Disneyland OP! It's a lot of money if he's not keen. However I agree he's selfish to never meet up with your family. Do you go to his family meet ups?

Rafting2022 · 19/08/2022 05:09

Don’t be so dramatic - ‘miss out on the joy’. Go and have a great time and if funds allow have a separate holiday that he’ll enjoy.

HeartofTeFiti · 19/08/2022 05:20

A million reasons why he wouldn’t like to go!

Maybe holidaying with you sister and her kids, watching the kids squabbling whilst queuing for in the boiling, steaming heat for hours on end, isn’t his idea of a few thousand quid well spent in the middle a cost of living crisis.

I would hate to go to Florida personally, if my dh drags me there (and so far I’ve done an amazing job of putting off the dreaded Disneyland trip) I will smile as much as I can but I hate heat, I hate jet lag, big rides can trigger migraines…

…And the eye watering cost - not just the cash price but the environmental cost of a trans Atlantic flight for no good reason when I can think of twenty places I’d rather visit in the UK or Europe…

… I don’t rant at my dh though, I politely try to wriggle out of it. If I could pack him and the kids off on a trip with cousins to keep him happy, I surely would!

autienotnaughty · 19/08/2022 05:56

From what your saying he sounds quite selfish? But if he doesn't want to go in holiday and you do I'd go personally.

Original poster
AnxiousMamaBear · 19/08/2022 06:15

ChloeKellyIsAnIcon · 19/08/2022 04:53

Some people really hate the idea of Disneyland OP! It's a lot of money if he's not keen. However I agree he's selfish to never meet up with your family. Do you go to his family meet ups?

Yes I do

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 19/08/2022 06:27

He does sound quite self focused but tbh it may not be too bad a thing. He sounds as if he's posted on MN actually- people are always advising on here not to bother with in-laws if you don't enjoy seeing them. This is the result- you're feeling that he's a bit detached from his family.

I would definitely go if you want to but yes its certainly information about your partner. Tbh the not wanting yo see your daughter have this particular type of fun wouldn't worry me too much, the overall detachment is something to think about. But I doubt you can change him, this is him.

WindyKnickers · 19/08/2022 06:36

Well I wouldn't go to disneyland Florida but I wouldn't stop my partner from going if they wanted to. Although I would suggest that the family should plan a holiday that everyone wants to go on. And FWIW your 6 year old won't appreciate it any more than a visit to butlins.

Clymene · 19/08/2022 06:37

It sounds like there's something else going on here. Is he disengaged from you and your daughter and family life more generally?

junebirthdaygirl · 19/08/2022 07:05

I wouldn't mind the not going to Florida bit but l wouldn't be happy for him not to go anywhere as a family. Sounds like he doesn't want to put himself out one bit. Do you go as a family of 3 on your own holiday? Does he do family days out at weekends. I would go to Florida as it will be more fun for your dc to go on rides with her cousins but l would insist on family holidays too.

rookiemere · 19/08/2022 07:24

Disneyworld is a very expensive trip per person- why waste several thousand pounds on air fare and park entry fees if you're going to hate it ?

At least he's happy for you to take your DD - I didn't go when I was young and we were actually in Florida, because it wasn't my DPs sort of thing so they didn't bother even for a day.

Does he take DD on other days out ? Can you plan a different holiday in the future with him? DCs get pleasure from all sorts of things, not just Disney rides. We did the trip when DS was 7 and I remember DH mournfully looking at the view of another condo from our cheap, but perfectly serviceable apartment and saying "It's not Tuscany is it ?".

SummerLovin123 · 19/08/2022 07:27

Because to some people OP, Disney world is like a version of hell. It's very expensive too. Just go if you want to. It's not a big deal.

DisforDarkChocolate · 19/08/2022 07:29

It's my idea of holiday hell. No alarm bells, no red flags just a normal reaction to the though of paying a great deal of money to be somewhere hot and crowded. Just go without him.

carefullycourageous · 19/08/2022 07:55

I would not want to go to Disneyland either. I don't think it is unusual to have separate holidays at times. It is unusual to not come to family meet ups, but also not unheard of. What matters is how he is at home and with you generally.

Gonnagetacatwhenimovein · 19/08/2022 08:06

@Clymene has it.

weird for him to not want to see his daughter go to Disney for the first time. Holidays are about enjoying spending time with your family and your children regardless of the activity.

rookiemere · 19/08/2022 08:14

@Gonnagetacatwhenimovein but for some people the idea of a fortnight spent at a theme park is literally torture with the sensory overload of constant noise and being surrounded by other people.

We only managed it by alternating park days with more relaxing ones - although found the water parks less overwhelming.

He's happy for his DD to enjoy a Disney holiday and presumably pay towards it - just doesn't want to be there. Unless he has a habit of not going on family holidays, then I actually think it's a sensible idea.

OP and DD get to go with family and have a good time with people who enjoy theme parks and save several thousands by DH not going.

RoseZinfandel · 19/08/2022 08:26

There’s no way I would want to go to Disneyland either - if DH wanted to go with his (or my!) family, I’d be delighted - presumably it would be cheaper without me, and he’d still have someone to go with.

Spending thousands on a holiday I would hate just to see the DC’s joy Confused. I’m happy for them to enjoy themselves when I’m not there, and I don’t think there’s anything alarming about that. They can tell me about it when they get back.

I’m taking dc away this year without DH as he’s working, he took them away last year as I was working, no “alarm bells” in sight. I know lots of people that do this in the summer holidays - week away with dad, week away with mum, week all together, saves kids having to spend so much time in holiday clubs.

I think you should go.

twilightcafe · 19/08/2022 08:28

AnxiousMamaBear · 19/08/2022 03:45

This is what makes me uncomfortable, why would he want to miss the joy our daughter will get from it? If he doesn’t want to do something he won’t do it. I do stuff all the time that’s not for me but for the imprirtant people in my life, if it makes them happy! He never comes to family meet ups with my family either. 😔

You sound like a little bit of a martyr.

He doesn't want to go. You do.
So take your daughter to Florida. DP won't be there moping around. You can enjoy some quality time with your family.

Ragwort · 19/08/2022 08:30

My DH and I frequently holiday separately, He and DS love skiing, no point me, a non skier, tagging along, it would make the holiday much more expensive and I just wouldn't enjoy it.

sunlight81 · 19/08/2022 08:36

Disney is EXPENSIVE - use the money saved by not taking the DH and use it for some non-fairground days out in the UK which everyone will enjoy.

Personally spending £3.5k per adult on a holiday I won't enjoy sounds a nightmare. Doesn't matter if the kids enjoy it or not, it's a long time to hate where u are!

Swipe left for the next trending thread