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Holidays

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Original poster

Think other family are going to pull out of holiday

36 replies

holidayhonesty · 26/07/2022 19:12

We're due to go on a villa holiday with another family in a few weeks. I have a horrible feeling the other family are going to pull out last minute. Every time I mention the holiday it's either ignored/glossed over or the subject is changed quickly. I know via one of their DC that two of them (the mum and one child) don't have passports yet - the child has been told they have an urgent appointment booked at the passport office, but I'm not sure.

They have some money worries and one of their DC (the one without the passport) has quite bad behavioural problems (no diagnosis). I think it's possible those things combined might be the reason they don't want to go. Mum/wife has form for pulling out of things last minute and making up excuses to not do things because she struggles with anxiety. To be clear I understand how crippling anxiety is - I've battled it myself - but it's the lies/excuses that bother me. I would rather honesty.

We asked repeatedly and explicitly before booking flights and paying for the accommodation if they were sure they wanted to go. We said, and really meant it, that we would understand if they couldn't/didn't want to.

These are good, close friends. It would probably be the end of the friendship if they pull out though.

Not sure what the point of this is! I think I have to ask them directly about it but I am dreading it.

OP posts:

sittingonacornflake · 26/07/2022 19:14

Have they paid their share?

OldFashionedWoman · 26/07/2022 19:14

Can just your family go on their own? Would that have a financial impact on you?

TheTeenageYears · 26/07/2022 19:14

Have they paid their share already so if they pull out it has no financial implications for you? If they have I really wouldn't let it concern you, if they haven't you need to manage relations to avoid the potential of being out of pocket.

Original poster

holidayhonesty · 26/07/2022 19:17

We can go on our own, although our kids would be very, very disappointed. As would we - we really like them and have had some fab holidays with them in the past.

They haven't paid their share of accommodation.

OP posts:

CMOTDibbler · 26/07/2022 19:23

I think the crucial thing here is them paying their half of the villa whatever. In fact, if you have paid for it, then I'd get them to pay their half now.
DH has a friend who is a last minute canceller, but with some rubbish excuse that is a lie - so much so that their friendship group made a word for 'someone cancelling last minute, or even after the thing should have started, with a lie'. We did think that it was his first wife that drove this, but although things were better when they'd split up, its now happening again with wife 2. And we're due to go away with them in August, but they have paid their half already and we did deliberately do that way ahead

No2incoming · 26/07/2022 19:24

Yeah I would ask them to pay their half of the accommodation now.

CavernousScream · 26/07/2022 19:26

Have you directly asked them for the money?

rookiemere · 26/07/2022 19:30

Is it too late to cancel the villa and get a smaller apartment if they don't come ?

Muchtoomuchtodo · 26/07/2022 19:31

Who’s paid then? Or is there still a balance to pay?

either way you need to know if they’re going to be going or not. If they are, get it all paid, if they’re not it gives you time to try to find someone else so you’re not landed with the whole bill. Either that or cancel - would you lose a lot?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/07/2022 19:33

When you booked it, how was settling their share of the costs discussed?

Have they booked and paid for their own flights?

Original poster

holidayhonesty · 26/07/2022 19:35

I have already agreed with them that they will pay us back when the dad gets his summer bonus in a few weeks. I'm not worried I won't get the money. Its more that I would be really hurt by it.

OP posts:

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 26/07/2022 19:36

Yeh if they haven’t paid they aren’t going

Original poster

holidayhonesty · 26/07/2022 19:37

I haven't paid for their flights. I have no idea if they have booked them or not. They say they have.

Maybe I need to think how to ask them explicitly without coming across as mental!!

OP posts:

LIZS · 26/07/2022 19:40

Can you say your dc are counting down until departure but you had heard there were still delays on passports and were hoping ds will still be sorted in good time. Do you trust them to reimburse regardless?

TokyoSushi · 26/07/2022 19:42

Sounds like something isn't right...

PixieMiss · 26/07/2022 19:54

Can you start to make arrangements about getting to the airport together? See their reaction?

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 26/07/2022 19:59

If they cancel last minutes, say that it's unfortunate that they are losing money, and make sure they pay.
Next time don't book until they paid.

Blueuggboots · 26/07/2022 20:01

Ouch, that sounds like a nightmare.

They're not going.

I would ask them again and express your concerns that they gloss over it every time you ask.

Tell them you will expect them to pay for the accommodation whether or not they go, and that they need to tell you if they're not going.

Riverlee · 26/07/2022 20:04

I’m guessing they’re not going as well and will probably not pay for their accommodation either.

Small claims court if they don’t pay up.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/07/2022 20:09

Is the bonus due before the trip?

I'd message and ask for flight details in an attempt to plan transfers.

ChonkyDonkey · 26/07/2022 20:18

I don't think they could have booked flights without a passport.

EternalPoinsettia · 26/07/2022 20:20

I would send them bank details for their share to be transferred and ask for flight numbers for taxi/ booking car hire or something like that. Something to pin them down. I would talk about the holiday as a given- no doubt in your mind it is happening, so they don't think you may have cottoned on and let them wriggle out of it easily. I hate flaky people! Yes you could go just your family but would have been nice to have the option to have made plans with other families or friends, so I get you would feel really disappointed in them

rookiemere · 26/07/2022 20:22

To be fair, I've heard of horrendous delays on people getting passports if that's the issue.

Invisimamma · 26/07/2022 20:26

Honestly it sounds like they're not coming. I don't know why they haven't been honest with you. Could you suggest booking a day trip or two? Suggest they book it as you're a bit short until they pay half of the villa.

Original poster

holidayhonesty · 26/07/2022 20:33

I will be very, very shocked if they don't pay for the accommodation. We had already agreed when they would pay for it so it's not as if they are late paying me.

I have already spoken to the mum about getting to the airport - she agreed with my suggestion of an 8-seater to take us all but again it was a very short conversation and I felt like she changed the subject quickly.

I've already sorted the transfer from the airport to the villa. But again in full discussion with them. It's fairly standard for me to do the leg work of organising stuff.

Who knows - maybe she's just worried about the passports as I don't think she knows I know they don't have them yet.

OP posts:

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