Dear holiday cottage owners

[SylHellais]

We’re in one, and I felt the need to post a note to all holiday cottage owners as the following issues appear to be inherent.

• for the love of god, just buy a whole set of matching cutlery, plates and glasses. They are not expensive and it’s massively annoying to see a cupboard full of random glasses and bits of crockery you don’t want in your own house.

• sharpen your fucking knives.

• buy a set of three non stick saucepans and two non stock frying pans, one small and one large. They don’t have to be expensive.

• when women wash their hair, they need an additional bath towel.

• a plug socket, near a mirror. Thank you please.

• bin bags. And tell guests which bin is for what.

• can you please fix all the small things like the seal around the wood burner which fills the cottage with smoke, or the pedal bin which doesn’t pedal, or the radiator which is stuck on full chat because the valve is broken, or the oven which is impossible to work out how to operate.

Your guests will thank you.

This thread has reminded me of a self catering holiday we had with the in laws on the Isle of Wight. We got back from a trip out to find the owner sitting in the only decent chair in the sitting room. Her husband was outside mowing the grass and she had decided to accompany him. Mother in law seized the chance to mention how poor the cooking utensils provided were (not enough saucepans, knives etc) Owner ' I cook Christmas dinner for twelve here every year.' Big snort from mother in law.
Owner 'I don't need to bring anything with me'. Even bigger snort from mother in law.
After a few more pleasantries about the island -owner ' We furnished it from junk shops you know.' Mother in law 'I can tell'.
Unfortunately there was no Trip Advisor in those days.

@shallIswim

I leave cleaning equipment (tucked away discreetly with no signposting) because guests kept asking for it! I don't expect guests to clean it, tho I am always secretly thrilled when they strip the beds and I find the dishwasher has already been emptied!

I like cleaning equipment on site. I do not clean when I leave beyond washing dishes, stripping the bed and wiping the sides. But if there is a spill in the kitchen or the toilet needs cleaned half-way through, then I do not want to spend the holiday in an unclean house. So I do normal cleaning as I go.

Yes, paying a mortgage is an investment. That was the investment, plus the deposit. It was an investment for me, 5 minutes walk from where I live. So my point is that it was purely an investment, not to have a second home.

@Movinghouseatlast Sorry by having a second home, I meant you own another house. So that is an asset. So your real profit is far more than £5k a year.

Another pet hate is people who have a lovely looking cottage but put those conservatory-style sofas and chairs in the living room instead of proper sofas. Presumably, because it is cheaper. But they are not as comfortable. I always suspect they are cast-offs of their own conservatory furniture. I never book these.

I know it's an asset. I didn't say it wasn't. You said I got to have a house in a pretty place.

I don't really understand your point. Holiday letting is my job, my only income. I do all the washing, ironing, meeting, greeting, worrying, cleaning, baking.

That house is sold now anyway.

Criticise all you like but please don't direct it at me personally as I don't fit into the box you are attempting to put me in.

@Movinghouseatlast I am not criticising you at all. I was simply disagreeing that your only income from that work is £5k annually.

Sadly it was the only income as I only broke even when I sold. So yes, it was £5k a year.

@Movinghouseatlast No your income was the £5k and the money you got to pay the mortgage.

That's not how the Inland Revenue see it.

I know. Tax loophole.

when women wash their hair, they need an additional bath towel.

What? I've had long hair for most of my life and I've never needed a bath towel to wrap it in. A standard sized hand towel does the job.

Ooh, I've just found this thread. I have a notepad and pen at hand. I am just in the process of prepping my French holiday home for rentals for next year. Was going to do it this year but Covid got in the way.

The blunt knives are usually because the chopping boards are glass not the plastic or wooden ones you would have at home. This is because plastic ones look tatty really quickly as the get scarred by knives. But instead glass ones are tougher than the knives so don't scar but do blunt knives.

Completely agree with this this. I loathe glass chopping boards, they set my teeth on edge and are horrendous for the knives. I've already bought several plastic chopping boards for my gite and as soon as each one looks tatty I'll put it in my own kitchen and replace it with a new one. They are not expensive.

I'm doing really well on my checklist of the thread so far - I've holidayed in enough poorly/cheaply equipped places in my time that I'm good at anticipating what will be needed, but it's still good to hear what people would love to see in a cottage.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1322240/

That's an eminent study of disappearing teaspoons

We have just arrived at our holiday cottage. It is delightful. Not only does it have a wooden chopping board, excellent knives, dishwasher tablets, washing up liquid, washing tablets, a plethora of sponges, napkins and tea towels, tissues and anti-bac gel, there was an unexpected welcome of a bottle of red, a bottle of white, preserves, biscuits, tea, coffee, milk, plenty of ice, tea and coffee - AND BIRTHDAY CAKE CANDLES three of us are summer birthdays and you have no idea how many candles and holder thingies we have had to buy over the years!

The parking space is perhaps a little tight, but we lived in London for 35 years so not a problem.

I have a theory that teaspoons get accidentally thrown away with plate scrapings and food wrappings because they are so small. Same as potato peelers. They get left in the colander with the peelings and thrown in the bin.

Or maybe that's just my husband?

We tried leaving the whole pack of dishwasher tabs, multipack of loo roll, etc in our holiday let, but it surprised us how often these things disappeared with the guests. Guests do some odd things!

I'm planning on leaving a one dishwasher tablet for each day of their stay, and one laundry tablet for the same. One loo roll in each loo to start them off - it is self catering after all, and not a hotel.

It isn't a loophole. You do know holiday let mortgages are interest free not repayment?

I'm not engaging with you anymore. You know nothing about it whereas I have done this as a career for a long time. You just sound a bit bitter for some reason.

Just thinking about the lovely cottages we look after. I’m sure our towels are adequate, the kitchens are perfectly well equipped and we very rarely get complaints. At least about anything we’ve done. We did recently have a complaint that the builders renovating a house over the road were a bit noisy. I’m not sure how much control we had over that.

@Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady

I have long thick hair and I don't need an extra towel.

Get out of shower. Dry hair with towel a. Then dry body with towel a.

how uncomfortable... I have long thick hair and I much prefer to wrap my hair in a towel and myself in a towel at the same time rather than being cold and uncomfortable.

Oh yes- slightly more than the bare minimum of cooking stuff. Some scales, some cake tins, a hand blender, a whisk. Cheap stuff is fine. I do want to be able to cook properly, especially when it's the sort of place you rent for Xmas. I don't want to lug cooking stuff on the train.

Oh and if you advertise yourself as aimed at families, a step in the bathroom, a toilet seat and a box of some books and toys (just from the charity shop is fine) is really helpful. If your property is near a mainline train station, don't assume everyone is driving and able to bring the kitchen sink.

@Dogmum40 @Quincejam a study has been done on teaspoon disappearance in the workplace www.researchgate.net/publication/7396985_The_case_of_the_disappearing_teaspoons_Longitudinal_cohort_study_of_the_displacement_of_teaspoons_in_an_Australian_research_institute

sharpen your fucking knives

You are barking at the moon. So rude. I hope people like you never come stay at my place.

Good God. Really? Then I hope I never come and stay at yours. What a terrible attitude. Leaving blunt knives is as good as leaving no knives. As someone upthread said, a quick 30 second sharpen each week is all that's needed. If you are not there and can't rely on changeover staff to do it weekly then resign yourself to having lots of spares so you can rotate them. I provide a sharpener but I still expect to have to keep them reasonably sharp myself, in just the same way I expect to have to and my pool clean and my grass cut.