Dubai- friends birthday-not sure I want to go.

[mummyrocks1]

So my very good friend is determined she wants to go to Dubai next June for a significant birthday. Me and another friend are unsure but have said we would go if that's what she really wants to do. I do feel a bit worried about it though.

I have been twice before with dh and dcs but done the all inclusive thing and then a couple of family oriented trips out.

Reasons I don't want to go/worries

1. it's along way to go for a long weekend. Df has been told flights are £350 but I am not convinced.

2. she's been very easily influenced by another friend x, who me and my other friend aren't keen on as she's a bit of a freeloader. X has been telling her how cheap it is (from my experience it isn't at all) and we feel it's where x wants to go rather than where the birthday girl wants to go.

3. x has been telling her you can get into ladies nights where alcohol is free as they want to attract ladies in. My friend and I are late 30s we don't want to go to places where women are attracted in by free drinks for men. We feel there might be an expectation by the men in the bar too, otherwise why would they be at a bar that attracts ladies in this way? We are not 21 anymore, we are married with dcs and don't need or want men buying us free drinks.

Again I suspects this suits x as she thinks nothing of allowing mutual male friends to pay for holidays and drinks for her. She freeloads off people whereas my other friend and I wouldn't dream of this.

4. I know they have relaxed the rules about drinking over there and you don't need a licence anymore but it's not the kind of plane where you just get bottles of wine and drink in the hotel, are seen drunk on the streets. X gets very drunk and is falling over and totally out of it on nights out. I feel like I would constantly be having to watch my behaviour and others or we could get into trouble. Another of her friends is very loud mouthed and fiery, she's been fine the times we ve been out before but birthday girl friend has said she's been out with her before and she's had big arguments with people. Again, I am worried this could get us into trouble.

5. you can't dress the same as western women, not that we in tiny clothes anymore anyway but I feel like it's much more conservative and I wouldn't be able to wear outfits I wear out here. Again, x and our friend where pretty revealing outfits when going out and I feel once again we could run into trouble, different expectations from men if they are wearing them out.

6. I think she's being very unrealistic about the cost, £350 flight, £750 accommodation between a few of us.

7. from my experience alcohol is extremely expensive but then she argues we ll get the free drinks.

I am in being silly with these fears? Is it not what I think? Dh says there is an active nightlife in the city centre and it's fine but we haven't seen that as have always just done all inclusive with kids in tow.

For a BIRTHDAY????? No bloody way. A significant others’ birthday, maybe, but for a friend no way.

Say no now, don’t leave it longer. You don’t really have to make excuses, it doesn’t suit you and that’s that.

Just say you can't afford it

It will end up like an episode of real housewives don't do it 😝🤪

I think she's being hugely unrealistic. I have a friend who lives over there too, I am currently planning a visit to see her. Flights are more like £500 return. Won't be paying accommodation, but friend reports that things like eating out, going for a coffee etc are about 10% to 20% MORE than in the UK. It's not a cheap destination.

Plus the whole "ladies' nights free drinks" thing sounds like a total cattle market. Yuk.

Er, no. Who the fuck thinks they can demand that their friends go to Dubai for their birthday? It will cost you the best part of a grand, once you add up flights, accommodation and spending money, and that's before you get onto the fact that it is a very Marmite destination. Plus, I certainly wouldn't be going to a place like that with someone who's got form for causing trouble.

No chance. I resent hen parties abroad, let alone going for a birthday party!

For my 30th a few of us had a spa day (we each had treatments costing between £15-65 each) and went for an optional meal and drinks afterwards, and for friends' 30th birthdays we have done a meal out. I went to a friend's 50th which because of where it was involved me making a weekend break of it in a place I wanted to go anyway (total cost maybe £150-200). Afternoon tea at £15 a head was another. This birthday in Dubai is going to end up costing you £1000 easily. There is no way i'd do that unless I was desperate to do that holiday anyway. Just say not for me thanks, and arrange for a spa day/meal/whatever instead.

Blimey no. Tell them that you have developed an environmental conscience and so will not be flying so much going forward especially for short duration trips.

I also definitely wouldn't be going anywhere abroad, and definitely not Dubai, with someone who has a reputation for kicking off.

Just say no. Don't feel guilt tripped into going as you won't enjoy it.

It is very expensive there , plus its going to unbearably hot !

Errr 5) just won’t be an issue, i say that as a UAE resident of 11 years

Just because your friend wants to go it doesn't mean you have to. Tell her no, it's simply too expensive

Ladies nights aren’t always sleaze fests - some of them genuinely are just cheap/free drinks for women, usually on a Tuesday or Wednesday night (I quite often go to a Ladies Night with my old antenatal group and it’s Dh100 for two courses and then free alcoholic drinks between 7-10. It’s all very civilised 😀)

The other big concern for me would be the weather - June is HOT. Unless you are hardcore, it’s not the kind of weather where you will want to be by a pool all day.

(Have been living in Dubai for nearly 10 years)

Not a chance I'd do this. Tell her it doesn't suit you and offer to take her for a nice meal out/drink/whatever she likes closer to home. I think it's astonishing that anyone would expect their friends (even well-off friends) to undertake what is basically a mid-market holiday for the sake of a birthday. It's hugely arrogant.

Just say no, my friends have just come back and said the attention (unwanted) from men was unreal, even a wedding ring didn't make any difference. It is also very expensive

I don't know who your friend has been talking to but my experience of Dubai wasn't like this at all. It isn't as bad as some people make out but you do need to keep your wits about you and I definitely wouldn't be going out to clubs getting pissed. If you want to get pissed in Dubai then book a really nice hotel with a nice bar and stay there and get pissed. Don't go out and about after you've had a lot to drink. As long as you've booked a decent hotel then you are safe drinking in your hotel. The same cannot be said if you go out into the city.

Just say no. Doesn't sound like you think it's going to be much fun. Being a good friend doesn't mean spending a fortune to go on a holiday you won't enjoy. Just have a nice meal and a night out with them at home.

Good god no.

I would suddenly become an eco warrior and express concerns about carbon footprint etc and they should be staying in the uk

Also, would you otherwise buy them a ~£1000 birthday present? No? Then why spend this money?

Far too expensive and also far too hot - doesn't sound like you want to go so just say no

EssentialHummus is spot on. £1000 for a birthday. Bonkers.

Just say no. It will cost far more then they are saying - particularly if there are individuals who want to go out lots (all the costs they haven't factored in taxis etc).

I went on a similar holiday (with similar individuals) not to Dubai, but in a city in Europe. Birthday girl's friend was out, "on the pull" and we all got dragged round to bars etc. Her view also was the whole point of a night out is to have drinks bought for you by men. I was the "party pooper" the whole time, including when I refused to go back to a stag dos hotel...

Just say No. It's unrealistic to expect anyone to spend huge sums on a significant birthday other than perhaps the person who's throwing the party!