Dubai- friends birthday-not sure I want to go.

[mummyrocks1]

So my very good friend is determined she wants to go to Dubai next June for a significant birthday. Me and another friend are unsure but have said we would go if that's what she really wants to do. I do feel a bit worried about it though.

I have been twice before with dh and dcs but done the all inclusive thing and then a couple of family oriented trips out.

Reasons I don't want to go/worries

1. it's along way to go for a long weekend. Df has been told flights are £350 but I am not convinced.

2. she's been very easily influenced by another friend x, who me and my other friend aren't keen on as she's a bit of a freeloader. X has been telling her how cheap it is (from my experience it isn't at all) and we feel it's where x wants to go rather than where the birthday girl wants to go.

3. x has been telling her you can get into ladies nights where alcohol is free as they want to attract ladies in. My friend and I are late 30s we don't want to go to places where women are attracted in by free drinks for men. We feel there might be an expectation by the men in the bar too, otherwise why would they be at a bar that attracts ladies in this way? We are not 21 anymore, we are married with dcs and don't need or want men buying us free drinks.

Again I suspects this suits x as she thinks nothing of allowing mutual male friends to pay for holidays and drinks for her. She freeloads off people whereas my other friend and I wouldn't dream of this.

4. I know they have relaxed the rules about drinking over there and you don't need a licence anymore but it's not the kind of plane where you just get bottles of wine and drink in the hotel, are seen drunk on the streets. X gets very drunk and is falling over and totally out of it on nights out. I feel like I would constantly be having to watch my behaviour and others or we could get into trouble. Another of her friends is very loud mouthed and fiery, she's been fine the times we ve been out before but birthday girl friend has said she's been out with her before and she's had big arguments with people. Again, I am worried this could get us into trouble.

5. you can't dress the same as western women, not that we in tiny clothes anymore anyway but I feel like it's much more conservative and I wouldn't be able to wear outfits I wear out here. Again, x and our friend where pretty revealing outfits when going out and I feel once again we could run into trouble, different expectations from men if they are wearing them out.

6. I think she's being very unrealistic about the cost, £350 flight, £750 accommodation between a few of us.

7. from my experience alcohol is extremely expensive but then she argues we ll get the free drinks.

I am in being silly with these fears? Is it not what I think? Dh says there is an active nightlife in the city centre and it's fine but we haven't seen that as have always just done all inclusive with kids in tow.

Another definite no! I’d agree with @PrimeraVez (I lived there for 4 years) that ladies nights aren’t always sleaze fests but in reality it’s going to cost more than £1k, June will be incredibly hot and it’s not a place to out of control. Just bail!

Just the fact it's Dubai is reason enough not to go. Dreadful place.

Good grief no. Just say you will meet her for a drink to celebrate but why should you pay to basically be a piece of meat for a weekend? It sounds horrendous.

Toneitdown- yes that's my concern, you can't just be drunk on the streets wobbling around. I feel like I wouldn't be able to relax and would be watching every move all the time.

Nice to know the free drinks nights are ok and not sleazy then. I would definitely have to find out where we would be going as a nice hotel would feel very different to a club to me. I just don't want to have men buying me drinks, chatting us up etc. I would rather just pay my own way rather than getting things for free.

X is a single mum and 30. So it's different for her. She regularly disappears on nights out to hook up with men so I feel her motivation for the holiday is very different to mine. I feel like she could ruin the holiday if she does this or if she gets so drunk and we have to take her home. Birthday girl friend was telling me that happened on their last night out and she had to pay the taxi fare, then x had lost her key so she had to have x stay at hers and pay another taxi fare to get there.

Thanks for the comments, especially ones from people who have lived there. So the dress thing is fine? What about my other points, are they silly?

Birthday friend isn't demanding we go. She said she's cool if people can't come. We have been on a few holidays before, UK and Europe so it's kind of an annual thing but this year it ties in with her birthday. We asked her about it as aware we need to start saving and she said she fancies Dubai and then went on to say how cheap x says it is. I think when she actually looks into costs she hopefully will change her mind! She's heavily being influenced by x.

The cost isn't too much of an issue, I would have to save up, I really want to go and it would be our normal annual holiday anyway. I love her so want to do what she wants to do but really unsure about Dubai.

Trust me, you really don’t want to be there in June. The average daily temperature is 38 degrees. It’s bearable if you are just going from an air conditioned building straight into an air conditioned car but even with a pool, it’s too hot to sit for long outside. Most ex pats come back home for the summer months to get away from the heat. As for your points, I’d agree that within hotels you don’t need to think too much about what you are wearing but walking around the streets It’s better to be a bit more modest. As for being drunk in the street, it’s really not the place for it! The locals have a bit of a dim view of Western morals already

Sjane- yes I think I will bring up the point about the heat and try and get here into looking elsewhere. She did mention Ibiza. I don't want to make her do something she's not happy with as it's her birthday.

Dubai is the last place that comes to mind when someone says cheap holiday!

Lots of Dubai nationals bail out in the summer. Over 40 degrees is common now in the summer.

The real problem you have is X isn’t it. She sounds like someone I would have dumped at 18. Do you really want to spend time with a drunk single mum on the pull?

Dubai is the last place that comes to mind when someone says cheap holiday!

Dubai is the last place that comes to mind when someone says "holiday" as well. I don't see the appeal, a gross corrupt place.

Bubbles- no she's not someone I would choose to spend time with but it's not my decision who df invites to her birthday trip. Yes I feel x makes me even more unsure about Dubai. She's definitely putting ideas into df head about it being cheap. Df has a friend who actually lives there and she was going to ask her so hopefully she will put her right. Most of time would be wasted flying.

I think you have misunderstood the concept of Ladies Nights in Dubai - although your other concerns are valid.
Ladies Nights are just promos put on by bars where women get free or discounted drinks and /or food It's got nothing to do with rinsing individual men. I lived in Dubai and my husband and I often went to ladies night events and split the free stuff between us.

Ok thanks puppy. I guess I did think it was a way of getting women into bars and then men are there too, perhaps with certain expectations.

Yes, I do see that mummyrocks1, but you will be picking up the pieces if you go and she behaves in the way you have described. I think your friend is a bit gullible and isn’t thinking this through. It might come down to what means most to you. Preserving your friendship in its current form (birthday trips) or moving on to a 2 tier friendship where you bail out and your friend still goes to Dubai with those who will go. What about the rest of the group? Are they all happy with this? Often unreasonable demands ruin friendships.

I have a friend who always wants others to spend money to accompany her to birthdays away. In fact she organised a weekend away for DHs birthday and we paid for it. It wasn’t where DH wanted to go! Most of us are now making excuses and doing the minimum.

If people want to celebrate, make the effort and pay for a “do”. Have a party! That’s what we do. Others seem to think they don’t need to bother and friends will cough up all the time and accompany them to hotels and destinations of their choice. They think it’s ok because they book the hotel and the restaurants! I’ve had to get tough and not be available so you will have to do the same if £1000 plus and all the other issues mean something to you.

Dubai is a 6 hour plus flight from London. There are very nice options which are a 2 hour flight!

Bubbles- yes you're right. Think I might do some research and send through a few other options to her. She is pretty easy going so I think she would go elsewhere. She did mention Ibiza. I want to go on holiday with her for her birthday, she's a lot of fun, just don't think Dubai is the right destination. I can save up for the holiday pretty easily so that's fine and I am willing to do so.

Me and my other friend don't see the rest of the girls in the group going much as they are df friends and they are separate friends rather than a big group. The other friend I am close to shares my reservations about Dubai too and said it depends on cost. She also wants to go within reason.

I think your best course of action is to find somewhere lovely in Europe. Ibiza might be a great destination for all. Or Majorca? Find a few classy hotels so she can see what the alternatives are and it would look very appealing. So much less time spent flying!

Just say no and go out for a meal locally like any normal person.

You go on holiday together every year? This is one expensive friendship.
Just why really?

Teaandcrisps- because we are good friends, we like each other and we like holidays. We go on a girls holiday to have some fun and time away from family life. Nothing wrong with that.,

I've paid £350 for return flights before but Dubai definitely isn't cheap.

You go on holiday together every year? This is one expensive friendship.
Just why really?

What an odd comment.
I go on holiday with numerous friends each year.

Op - sounds like somewhere in Europe would be a better destination than Dubai. Far more reasonable too.

Nope nothing wrong with that at all and nothing wrong with a meal out or seeing a show either