expats with kids & long haul flights: would you do it?

[oregonianabroad]

I need help here. I really want to go and see my family on the west coast, but the main problem is the flight is 16 hours, and DH doesn't want to go because he finds travel stressful at the best of times (and, frankly, after our last holiday together and the wobbly he threw in the airport, it's probably best just to accept that this is true). I haven't been home in 3 years, and I want to see my 87 year old grandmother, as well as the rest of my nutty family. Herein lies another problem: they really are all nuts, which means probably a lot of moving around and visiting, as well as a lot of stress for me dealing with all their nuttiness.
My kids are 4 months and 2.3, and I have been thinking of going in October. The baby is sooo easy, but my 2 year old is a challenge. He managed OK on a short flight, but i can't imagine trying to entertain and contain him on my own and with the baby too.
I am back at work in January, which means I won't be able to take advantage of good fares out of school holidays anymore (I am a lecturer). I've even thought of paying for someone else to come with me and help but don't know if that would really decrease my stress or add to it! Don't know what to do. Anyone else in this situation? Any advice from lone travellers with 2 small ones?

No.

I haven't been back to the US in over 5 years.

Would you have help when home? Or is your family uselessly nutty?

I would probably do it, and look on craigslist or similar for someone who you can pay to help on the flight (e.g. someone who wants to go there, and likes kids, and can be a spare pair of hands).

The other thing is, if you are flying BA, for example, they have seat back telly, so your 2-year-old could maybe be hypnotised by that?

uselssly nutty. and the tv only lasts 15 minutes.
where r u from, expat?

are the staff more helpful if you go business class?

Longhaul flights are one of the few times where staring blankly at a TV, with drool running out of your mouth, is the right thing to do.

Strangers can be helpful. I flew alone with DS1 once when he was a baby, and the woman next to me was very nice.

I say 'do it', but I've not flown alone with my two, and I did two train journeys with them today and am now completely worn out.

Oh, yes, any food that works.

we tried a portable dvd last time and he would watch 15 mins and then demand a change at the top of his voice (WANT BALAMORY!!!!!!! WANT THOMASTANKGINE!!!!!). With ds1 in lap and not much space, i have neither the patience nor the physical ability to comply with these demands for 16 hours!

How long ago was the last time?

just returned from short trip abroad last week (tan quickly fading, horrific memories have not).

The last time I flew to Nigeria the woman behind me had two dc, aged about a year and 2.5yr. The entire trip was a nightmare for her as the younger one wailed and the older one kept running off, hitting baby, kicking out etc. I'm not sure why they didn't put her in bulkhead seats, tbh - it would have been better for dd and me!!

yikes! That is exactly what I am afraid of.

Your dh sounds very selfish.
If you can afford to go,not sure why it is such an issue.
We fly/have flown loads with little kids.
Get on,grit your teeth and sit it out.

They will fall asleep eventually.
I'm not into gimmicks and presents and dvd palyers but what did/does work for us is to make sure an adult in aisle seat then the child can't break loose.

I've also travelled plenty on my own with a 3 year old and a new baby,flights that entailed changes,buses,long walks through terminals and so on.
Just did it.

This is a whole other issue with the DH moondog. On the one hand, in daily life, he is very unselfish and new man about stuff. On the other, he gets anxious to the point of neurosis about air travel (stress and phobia, nice combo). sometimes i want to scream, snap out of it! you married an expat and you knew it meant flying to see my family! i endure his family! but then I feel guilty because he does everything else i ask him too (really).

You haven't been home in three years!!
FGS!!!
It is soooooo selfish.
Wouldn't your family love to see the children?

Listen,thousands of people do it every day.It's not a big deal.