6 hour car journey with 10 month old

[GiraffeObsessedBaby]

So we're going to visit my MIL next weekend from Friday to Sunday. I'm overjoyed but that's another issue.

The furthest we've travelled with ds over a weekend was an 8 hour round trip with my dm. Putting him in the car on the Sunday to head home from that trip he was kicking off. We placated him with snacks and singing and literal constant amusement. An hour into that four hour journey he literally lost his shit. I've never seen him scream like that it was horrible. We stopped and tried to calm him down but as soon as he saw the car seat again he kicked off. There was no pain the seat is comfy and fits properly but my ds is very active and hates being confined.

We are now having to visit MIL next weekend which is a minimum of 6 hours each way without traffic. WTH am I going to do? Please tell me there is some magic trick I don't know of to keep an insanely active little one who HATES being confined happy and calm?

I've tried to put this trip off, change style of travel everything but my dh won't have it. He wasn't with us on the last journey it was me and my dm so I don't think he really understands how bad I think this is going to get. And MIL doesn't even acknowledge me let alone talk to me to figure out another option.

Travel while he’s asleep is my only tried and tested. So either go partway during a nap, then break the journey until his bedtime. Or do the lot from when he normally goes to sleep (or a bit before if he’ll tolerate some car time?) and just accept you’ll be arriving late.

We tried that on the other journey and he simply refused to sleep. He just got more and more wound up.

Plus MIL has ordered what times we are to arrive and leave and this wouldn't fit her plan. Trust me I know how ridiculous this is but I've got a lot of battles with this woman.

Will he watch stuff downloaded on an iPad?

What about if someone sat in the back with him?

Definitely no sun getting in his eyes or anything?

I'm going to try the iPad but he never pays attention for long as he's always on the go.

Someone has to be in the back with him on any journey longer than half an hour or all hell will break loose. So I am preparing for it. But my dh isn't great under pressure so when it's his turn in the back I'm not expecting it to go well

Nope no sun he is literally just wanting out. The minute he's out of the seat and let free on the ground he's happy. When he's in the seat he's clawing at everything including himself, straining and pushing to get out, kicking out. He just wants out of the seat and free

First step with a journey like that is assume that it is going to take ages. Don't aim to be there for a time. My journey that used to take 5 hours as a single person now takes up to 12 with a toddler. Acceptance of that really helped out stress levels!

I always aimed to travel during naps or part of his night time sleep. I think for travelling during the day at that age we would try to tire him out as much as possible during the morning and feed him as much as possible and leave after lunch. Then try to see how far we could get while he slept and then try to tire him out at our next stop. Leaving at his bedtime also works, and the traffic is quieter too.

I'd also recommend scoping out good places to stop. That can make a difference as well. It doesn't feel quite so bad if you're waiting at nice places. There are some nice places just off the M6 for example.

Good luck. And wishing you a fair wind!!

Id just call it off. They grow fast. By this time next year he may be a littpe dream in the car. Why put yourself through the stress of it all for 2 nights?

We might have to do a long trip to visit family. One idea we are thinking of is stopping overnight somewhere and exploring the place during the day. I realise it an extra expense and adds to the length of the trip but no way would I be brave enough to travel that many hours non-stop with a baby.

I was thinking about planning stops. We're travelling up through Scotland so a lot of the journey will be on a roads with literally nowhere around. Will sit down and plan some stops.

I'm struggling with ideas on how wear him out as he's like the energiser bunny lol. It's a running joke in my family that he recharges the more he does.

Part of me is preparing for hell and hoping this makes my dh realise this trip is just not practical until ds is older which I know is horrible but MIL makes literally no effort to visit us despite regularly passing where we live for work.

Random, but can he see out the window? Ds loves a good view, so we took the sun blind down and he gets to check out what's going on.

Does his seat face forward or backward? I can't remember the recommendations on forward/rear facing but maybe he doesn't like going backward?

Aside from maybe doing his normal bedtime routine, putting him in a sleepsuit and filling him with milk then going immediately, I'm not sure what else you can do, aside from lots of stops.

I appreciate DMIL's schedule but travel through the night when DS will be asleep? Could you even transfer him into the car seat asleep? You can get travel gro bags with holes for the seat belt.
Or iPad?
Or just don't go??
Is 6 hours of screaming worth it?

Every sympathy X

@NapQueen that's a fight I've been having since my ds was born. Mil expected us to visit within weeks. She runs her family with an iron fist and it causes ALOT of problems in my relationship with dh.

@Lonoxo unfortunately that's just not an option for us due to mine and dh work. Also Mil makes demands on specific times. We could have spread it out over a week with days of travelling and stopping to see other family on way last month but MIL wasn't "offering for us to visit then"

Ah, I've just seen that he won't sleep.

And your MIL has dictated your arrival time when you've got a journey of six hours?! Yeesh.

We've had journeys where we've ended up stopping almost every hour due to an antsy child. Sometimes you just have to do that and hang your arrival time?

I don't envy your journey. Does it have to be via car?

Off topic but I think that family should make the effort to travel to see you if you have a baby. You have all the stuff at your home and there’s baby routine to consider. I told my family that I wouldn’t travel too far from my city until my baby was around 1.

He's rear facing @supercalifragilistic2 as the daughter of a traffic bobby I'm scared way to straight to turn him lol

We do have a travel sleeping bag which we've used a few times when he's fallen asleep at my mums down the road. It's very handy.

But would mean only having less 24 hours at MILs which is just pointless

I can't believe you're contemplating going and putting your baby through so much distress because MIL says you have to. Just don't go. No way would I put my 10 month old through so much distress and upset to visit a family member. If she wants to see you all make her come to you

Just send dh and let him deal with her moaning.

@Lonoxo this has been my argument but it's all come to a head now and I've been backed into a corner over this visit. And I know it's wrong but just hoping dh realises it's just not a realistic option after this

@WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream trust me I'm losing sleep over this. There's been arguments since before I got pregnant about taking kids to visit mil. This isn't a new issue.

My 7month old has been like this since day dot. We live in London and regularly drive to Devon and Newcastle to visit family. He will scream for hours on end. I have no tricks that last longer than 5mins

Could you travel at night when he’d be used to being asleep anyway?

I am typically a “just do it and you’ll all struggle through” but with the level of distress that you’re describing, the length of the journey and how dreadfully inflexible your MIL is, I’d cancel the trip. If she doesn’t like it, tough.

I know you’ve said your dh is not happy about you going via other modes of transport, but honestly if there was another option and you can afford it, can you not do that instead. If there is a main line train station close to either end, that could cut down on loads of stress. Even if dh drives so you have the car up there and you and ds go on the train, he wouldn’t have to be so cooped up and could have walks up and down the train if he wanted too. Although may cause an argument with dh, if it makes it easier for you and ds it could be worth it. Even taking a plane if there is an airport nearby?
The longest car journey we did was 6 hours, with newborn, 2 year old and 4 year old and it was horrendous. It should have taken 2.5 but the traffic was at a standstill and we could do nothing but listen to wailing and upset. If someone said I had to do that again, no amount of money would make me agree.

Full sympathies! We did a 6 hour journey with an 11 month old (with 2 much older siblings in the back to amuse him & many stops) and I think he broke us all. So much so we cancelled plans to visit another much loved family member 2 months later as it would be an 8 hour drive and we just couldn’t stomach it.

If we absolutely had to make a long journey in the near future I would be arranging to stop overnight, or at the very least 2-3 hours to give them a big stretch out the car. Although the screaming would just start again half an hour in 🙄

Could you get the train? That would be the only compromise I’d be willing to make.

Your DH can take him! Man I feel your pain, my MIL is 4 hours without children, 6ish with. I have two DC, and when we visited in the summer, (dd1 aged 3 and dd2 aged 3 months) we set off at around 7pm so luckily they both slept.

If MIL is insisting you visit her then surely you can say when you arrive?! She sounds like hard work OP you have my sympathy. Your DH literally has no idea, kids seem to just go to a whole new level of screaming in the car!!