6 hour car journey with 10 month old

[GiraffeObsessedBaby]

So we're going to visit my MIL next weekend from Friday to Sunday. I'm overjoyed but that's another issue.

The furthest we've travelled with ds over a weekend was an 8 hour round trip with my dm. Putting him in the car on the Sunday to head home from that trip he was kicking off. We placated him with snacks and singing and literal constant amusement. An hour into that four hour journey he literally lost his shit. I've never seen him scream like that it was horrible. We stopped and tried to calm him down but as soon as he saw the car seat again he kicked off. There was no pain the seat is comfy and fits properly but my ds is very active and hates being confined.

We are now having to visit MIL next weekend which is a minimum of 6 hours each way without traffic. WTH am I going to do? Please tell me there is some magic trick I don't know of to keep an insanely active little one who HATES being confined happy and calm?

I've tried to put this trip off, change style of travel everything but my dh won't have it. He wasn't with us on the last journey it was me and my dm so I don't think he really understands how bad I think this is going to get. And MIL doesn't even acknowledge me let alone talk to me to figure out another option.

Op if you steadfastly refuse to get in the car what would dh do?

I did Leeds-Dorset (5hrs +) once a month for the first 4 years of DS’s life. DS was, and still is, pretty active and curious (he’s nearly 10). When he was baby, I used to take him swimming during the day and travel over evening/night. The swimming settled him enough to sit in his car seat. He’d usually sleep most of the way and just transfer to travel cot in arrival. Would evening travel be an option?

Could u go by train or plane?

@NapQueen he would go alone without ds after a major flaming row that would cause problems for a very long time. He's not malicious it's just a combination of sheer blindness when it comes to MIL. It's his biggest fault and one we are working on and I'm sure will be doing throughout our marriage.

I'm looking at flights and trains again to try and convince DH.

Thanks to others for sharing their experiences. I'm glad to know this is a common reaction and not just me being a shitty mum. Unfortunately night travel is just not an option due to our work commitments if we did that we'd leave at bedtime Friday and have to leave bedtime Sunday getting home in the early hours and then going to work at 6/7am that morning.

I didn't read your opening post properly. The Friday to the Sunday? That's grim. It's barely worth it, all three of you will be shattered on the Saturday and to have to do the return on the Sunday?? You'd only catch me doing that with a baby in tow if I was saying a "last goodbye" to a beloved friend or relative. We usually do a Thursday-monday effort. That's tolerable and doesn't kill us all.

I think you're a saint for even considering the journey, especially if your son won't sleep in the car seat.

Thanks ladies for taking the time to comment. You've confirmed my worries and now I'm going to have to figure out what's best to do for everyone. Have a feeling I'm going to be the bad guy in this no matter what =\

After a miserable experience with Ds at 8 months driving to Scotland we also swore off long drives, and would train it or fly. Driving at night was worse for us because after a couple of hours he woke, I'd guess in discomfort because he normally slept on his tummy. He then was really unhappy as he wanted to be asleep... He also got bothered by headlights coming in the rear window, if we'd had them sunglasses might have helped. For the return we tried daytime traveling which was better but very slow. A mobile phone with lots of nursery rhymes on it helped, I still had to sing along but its less effort.

Which stage car seat do you have? DD was worse and we did find that moving her into a bigger stage 0+1 seat helped a lot, although we never tried anything longer than 2 hours. (Still rear facing, a lot of the toddler seats like the Besafe modular one are either OK birth or from 61 cm / 6 months).

Good luck!

As someone else pointed out upthread, grit your teeth and assume it's going to be unpleasant and very lengthy for everyone. You can't realistically do much about the situation (he needs to be in the car seat when traveling), so the only thing you can change is your attitude. It will take at least 8 hours.

We drove to the UK (midlands) from Switzerland this summer with a 6 month old and a 2 year old. We stopped 7 times between home (in Switzerland) and the channel tunnel! It was loooooooong, but necessary.

Good luck!

My DD is the same. Though our longest journey has been 6hrs with traffic can stops so I feel for you as it will likely be longer.

Maybe put your DH in the back with your DS for the first leg of the journey and if he royally kicks of you can explain to your DH that this is what he was like on the journey with your DM and that from your experience last time round nothing will calm him - hopefully then your DH will see sense and not want to put your DS through the stress and you can turn back around.

Although your DS may surprise you - I find my DD changes all the time and one car journey can be a nightmare and the next no so much.

Good luck. I hope your DH comes around or that your DS is less stressed.

Also meant to say that your MIL sounds like a nightmare

Possibly not feasible at short notice but can you take the train? It's so much easier with a little one as they don't need to be strapped in.