leave children in car?

[julen]

Stupid maybe, but I have been wondering about this recently - what do you do when you go and pay for the petrol you've just put in your car? Get your kids (in my case a 2 yr old toddler and a 2 month old baby) out and take them in with you, or leave them in the car? The first seems a lot of hassle but the latter doesn't feel very safe...

Having just joined a carclub (highly recommended, BTW!!) I am suddenly faced with this.. (normally using public transport I've just never thought about it..).

[Slinky]

You're welcome Tiny

Wanted to add something else re: risks etc.

Just tucking into my Avocado and Balsamic Vinegar salad whilst reading the local paper - there are 2 separate accident reports in there - 1 involved an 84 yo man losing control of his car, ploughing across a busy road into railings and into a telephone box! Unfortunately, woman in telephone box is seriously injured - driver has minor injuries.

Another accident involved a 79 yo woman who again lost control of her car and ploughed into another car coming the other way!

So I would say that my children are at FAR greater risk from death or injury whilst I am driving them to nursery/swimming lessons/Brownies/Beavers etc etc then when I leave them for 2 minutes in a car on a carpark forecourt!

[WideWebWitch]

I nearly posted on this this am to say there was an old thread about this but my pc crashed. I leave them both in the car and lock it but they're always in full view. Agree with everyone who says the risks are small and that it's probably more dangerous to take them out across the forecourt. I've never ever seen someone take their children in, has anyone else? Where are these people (apart from on this thread!)?

[Easy]

Not read all this (need a nap before ds comes home), but What is the risk of leaving a child in a car at the petrol station?

Surely, if several cars on forecourt, a theif will pick one WITHOUT Children, wouldn't you. Anyway, lock it and take the key with you. it takes too long to nick a locked car on a busy forecourt.

And I can't ever remember, in my 43 years, a story of a petrol stn catching fire.

[Piffleoffagus]

I always take mine out, aprtly because in NZ I saw a car blow up at a gas station once and two children were killed.
Bit extreme obviously but it scares the daylights out of me...
I get DH to get the petrol on his own

[cuppy]

Funnily enough I had this dilema for the first time today. I went to the drive through at asda - you fill up then drive to cashier to pay. Its the only one in our town so will have to just use this one from now on. I would never take the risk of leaving dd.

Easy - in response to your WHat is the risk question....
I worry about car theft - you hear of peoples cars getting stolen without the thief realising theres a child in the back.

What if they get out of the car and you lose them?

What if theres a fire?

What if you become ill, possibly faint in the shop and no one knows you have child in back? Could be sat in there for ages getting hot.

What if gas station is robbed just as you enter and you are not allowed to leave?

You may laugh at these and think they are pretty far fetched. Maybe they are , but what if one of them did happen? I know life is full of what ifs but my childs life means more to me than anything. If I have to go to the hassle of taking them with me - I will - to me its just not worth the risk.

[musica]

Risk is a funny thing though. As lots of people have said, there are risks both ways. Here are some what ifs the other way...

What if the child slipped away and got hit by a moving car on the forecourt?

What if the petrol station was held up while the children were inside?

What if there was a petrol explosion next to where you are standing?

What if the children slipped out of sight in the shop and were abducted?

What if the children left the shop without you seeing - very easy to do!

What I'm saying is that everything is a balance of risk. I'm sure there is a very small risk in leaving them in the car, but in my mind, the risks of taking them out the car (especially with my 3 year old who can run like the wind, and a 10 month old who can't yet walk so has to be carried, rendering me less able to chase the lightning fast 3 year old) far outweigh any risk that might be encountered by leaving them locked in the car. And I try to minimise any possible risks by leaving windows slightly open etc. to let air in.

[3GirlsMum]

I always leave mine in the car, lock it and have it in full view at all times.

[fio23]

Message withdrawn

[skerriesmum]

OK, not exactly the same thing but along the same lines... do you ever leave your baby/toddler asleep in the buggy outside a shop while you run in for something? Like if there are stairs and it's not worth lugging it and nobody around to help? Of course there is a kidnapping risk... I live in a small place and couldn't imagine anyone taking off with ds... am I stupid, irresponsible and/or naive? Apparently Scandinavian women (Danish, I think) leave sleeping babies outside supermarkets. Is this true?

[tallulah]

I must have been a dreadful mother- I always left mine in the car while I got petrol; always left sleeping 2 yo in the car while I went into playgroup to collect 3 yo DD & regularly left all of them in the car outside Tesco (tho they would have been a bit bigger then).

With 3 under 4 & then 4 under 6 it was too much effort to get them all out & keep them all under control, esp in the days before double trolleyseats & P&T spaces.

We only came to grief once, when I left them in the station car park while I went to get a ticket, & forgot to put the handbrake on! They all illustrated in graphic detail how the car had bumped twice on its stately journey across the slight incline of the carpark before landing on a metal railing.... You'd think a 7 yo would have the sense to pull the handbrake! ( )

They are all teenagers & have no lasting scars from being abandoned. (& I never ever left them alone in the bath. Never for one minute. re other thread)

[tallulah]

Obviously the Tesco example was for milk or odd bits- not a full weekly shop!! (must preview..)

[misdee]

fire in a petrol station, well there is a cut off valve that the station operate in case of fire.
If you are worried about the car being stolen, then lock it and take the keys with u.
The place being hit by lightning, well if that happened then the car is one of the safest places to be, as the electric energy is put around the body of the car and the people inside are safe. the petrol station at work was hit by lightneing once, no major disater, nothing blew up but was unable to operate for 2 days whilst they got the systems up and running again.
Someone crashing into the car? the station is more likely to be ram raided tbh!!

[bran]

Not sure about Denmark Skerriesmum, I was only ever in Copenhagen which is a reasonably large city, but when I was in Norway nobody brought their babies in prams inside, even when they couldn't see the pram from inside. While I was on holiday in Norway a Norwegian mum had been arrested in the States for doing that, apparently the cops only agreed not to prosecute if her husband swore not to leave the mother alone with the child while they were still in America. The Norwegians were horrified that she had been arrested at all, but I though she was a bit naive to do that in a foreign country.

Did you grow up in Ireland Skerriesmum, I remember people leaving their kids outside in prams all over rural Ireland, even sometimes in Dublin if there was an older brother or sister (over 5 or so) to mind the pram.

[tatcity]

Would never consider doing anything other than leave them in the car. Feel paranoid now, does that mean I'm bad?

I don't even worry about them when I'm in the shop paying. There is this great thing on the car that you press and means you can still have the car locked with the alarm on, and their movement inside doesn't set the alarm off - which helps I suppose, but still, God no, I would definitely not worry about it. As someone said earlier, its like going upstairs to do housework while they are downstairs, or going and gardening while they are upstairs asleep.

Shouldn't we try and be a bit relaxed about things instead of worrying about every possible scenario that might go wrong? We'd never go out the front door would we? Sorry, just my view.

[polly28]

i don't leave my ds 21 months because he screams until he's blue in the face when i do.I do leave him when my dd 12yrs is with him.
When my dd was a toddler i used to leave her in the car all the time,when paying for petrol,popping into shop for milk etc.I think it's shocking now but I didn't think anything of it then.

[suedonim]

When I had my first two babies in the 70's I left them outside our small local shops - everyone did the same, there'd be a row of prams all lined up. Times have changed so much that it's something I never did with my younger two children.

[bloss]

Message withdrawn

[FairyMum]

I NEVER leave mine in the car. We always make sure we have got a full tank, so we don't have to fill it up when the kids are with us. It probably depends where in the country you live.

[skerriesmum]

Oh, it's Norway then, I wasn't sure. I'm Canadian but live in Ireland now. I must ask my own family for their views as well, I think in America everyone is really afraid of kidnapping, with good reason, and probably in big Canadian cities as well. (I am from a small town.)

[Hulababy]

I never leave DD in the car. On the odd occasion I have to get pertrol - normally DH fills it up when he uses it on a Monday - I go to the Asda fast serve pumps where you drive up and stick your creit card in.

I simply wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her in the car. Read too many scare stories I guess.

[mrsflowerpot]

It really depends where you are too. At the local 2 pump garage I've never thought twice about leaving ds in the car, but I'd never leave him in at a big motorway service station because you just can't see them.

DS had a bad running away stage (it lasted a year ) and during that it was a non-starter to take him out of the car.

I think pay at pump and drive through are the best things ever.

[juniper68]

I don't drive now but would leave them in the car and quickly go and pay when I did. I personally think we have to put things into perspective here. It's ok quoting the rare time a car gets stolen but you could also say 'I'm not walking down my street with the pram or standing at a bus stop' as I heard of two different incidents of cars ploughing into people within a week. I know the world is a nasty place but you can't dwell too much.

The drive through at Asda idea is excellent though, maybe we should all email Asda et al to see if they'll make this more common?

[muddaofsuburbia]

What about if you have to get a pay and display ticket in a car park? Or a trolley in a supermarket - especially when you need to put a pound in to unchain it - not much fun with a car seat or a wiggly toddler.

[katzguk]

just to add to this the guy i share a office with showed me a picture he'd taken with his mobile phone, his car with the front end all crushed, oh dear i sadi how'd you do that then? he replied not me my 3 year old, she undid her seat belt and released the handbrake rolling the car into a wall!! whilst he'd popped out to pay for petrol!!! the best bit though was explaining it to his insurance company!!

[aloha]

I remember very heated threads on this topic too. I am the person who called the police on finding two small children strapped into a car parked on a quiet side street (ie not outside a shop or anything) on one of the hottest days of last year (and I expect you all remember how hot that was!) both sobbing and red and no parent in sight at all. I waited five minutes or so, called the police and then waited a further ten minutes or more until the police turned up. The father turned up another ten minutes later if I recall correctly.

BUT I do leave my ds in the car when I pop in for petrol or a paper. I can see the car from inside the garage, it is in the shade, the car is safely locked and music is playing. Last time I said, "I'm just popping into the shop sweetheart, is that OK?" and ds replied, "I will stay IN the car and sing" so I guess he isn't too traumatised by it. I totally agree that for every risk you can think of to do with leaving them in the car you can think of another equally serious risk that could occur outside the car.