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Original poster

I am going to put my baby in a forward facing seat when she is 6 months old

80 replies

morningpaper · 08/03/2006 09:54

(She is 5 months now) It can't be any more dangerous than driving with her screaming, coughing, gagging, vomiting, choking, INCESSANTLY.

I discussed this with a paed. and she said that that hers were so bad she just drove with them on someone's lap because she was far less likely to crash without the screaming.

Any thoughts on the least dangerous way of doing this? Or any other approaches? It's got to be worth a try.

DH has booked this summer's holiday with just him and dd1 because of this. :(

OP posts:
Flossam · 08/03/2006 21:01

I remember my friends DS doing this once. ALL the way from Brighton to London. Food, milk, toys, dummy, singing, talking, none would do.

It was pure hell. He was tired but refused to sleep. Is your DD tired? Do you think perhaps where you are consistantly trying to stop her crying you are intervening when perhaps she is tired therefore frustrating her even more?

Really don't think your idea in the OP is a good one, sorry.

Elf1981 · 08/03/2006 21:05

MP - is it the car seat or just the car? Does your DD cry when in the car seat but in the house? If so, have you got a friend you could borrow a different type of car seat from? My DD dislikes being in a carseat that my PILs have and screams in it, but she's really happy in ours. A shot in the dark perhaps but it's worth a try.
Does she spend a lot of time in the carseat in the house? (I know sometimes people use them for the babies to sleep in from time to time). If not, could you try building up the amount of time she stays in the seat but in the house?

elastamum · 08/03/2006 21:25

You can get forward facing seats that recline. We had a britax one that was great. I used one of these because at 6 months my DS2 was far too big for a stage 1 car seat. Buy an in car DVD player and put on the teletubbies or whatever she likes. I used to do a lot of longmotorway trips on my owm when the boys were small as my dad was very ill. My DH came home with the DVD player one day. We reckon it was one of the travel best buys we ever made

ajg · 08/03/2006 21:28

Sorry but am still in shock that your husband is going without you.Maybe for a long journey you could ask your doctor about a sedative.Maybe changing you seat to another rear facing one that isnt so small,i do think they look awfully sqaushed up in some of them.

Original poster
morningpaper · 09/03/2006 08:58

It's a Britax Sport I think - it was the Which safest seat when we bought it 3 years ago.

greyriver I like the seat you suggested, it seems nice and roomy. I might think about buying a new seat like that one. It's just so much money if it doesn't work.

I don't have any friends with decent seats I could borrow, they all seem to have budget buys.

Had her in the front on my motorway drive yesterday - constant dummy replacing eventually did the trick and she fell asleep. Hate having to constantly search and replace dummy while driving at 70 mph though. I try to drive carefully and stay in the inside lane - I don't go over 70 - but I'm conscious that I'M becoming one of the other idiots on the road because this is affecting my concentration so much.

I really appreciate all the ideas and suggestions. I am NOT ignoring them and 'just telling you what I'm doing' - I am really at the end of my tether. I do welcome your ideas and support and I am giving it a great deal of thought.

OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 09/03/2006 09:02

Lockets: whereabouts in the country are you? Thanks for your offer.

Others: She is happier in the car seat in the house - I think it is partly the lack of view that she doesn't like - she is constantly straining to see out of the window and trying to lean forwards to 'sit up' - she doesn't like being reclined generally; she likes to see what is going on. The car seat she is in IS quite small - maybe she doesn't like having her feet against the back of the seat.

OP posts:
Elf1981 · 09/03/2006 09:15

Probably a stupid question but have you tried hanging toys off the car seat handle? My DD plays with \link{http://www.elc.co.uk/toy-32639\these} in the house and we have started hanging them on the handle of the car seat. She then plays with them in the car, and often falls asleep just holding onto them. You're not going to lose much at £3.00

Kelly1978 · 09/03/2006 09:16

lockets lives in london somewhere.

Bozza · 09/03/2006 09:23

morningpaper - a forward/backward seat might really help because although they are facing backwards they really are much more upright. I really hope you can sort something out with lockets.

greyriver · 09/03/2006 12:25

if you are anywhere near kiddicare (cambs) b4 i knew which seat i wanted they fitted different ones into my car and let me try putting DD in and out of them....maybe if DH kept the car running they would let you drive around the car park? Wud be worth asking them they are very accomodating. You could probably try this with loads of the seats they have there as they do have a v wide range.

yummimummy · 09/03/2006 23:59

I am British but live in Australia where the standard is to use a rear facing capsule until 6 months or 8 kgs whichever is the sooner.
I have great sympathy for you as my DD, now 9 months, used to scream whenever she went into the capsule. My sister and myself needed therapy after a 2 hour trip away turned into a 4 hour nightmare in spite of me sitting in the back, singing, handing toys, playing her favorite tape, etc.
I was very glad to get rid of the bloody thing just before 6 months when she was about 7.5kgs and switch to a forward facing seat.
Miracle.
No more crying ( well occasionally, if I am honest, but never the blood curdling screaming as before).
We travelled to the UK last Dec when she was 6 1/2 months and she went back into a rear facing seat..... cue: the screaming again.
I don't know why this is. Perhaps some babies feel disorientated, maybe it's car sickness.
We may never know.
I know how incredibly distressing and distracting it is to drive around with a screaming baby in the back.
I know that I drive much more safely when she is quiet and happy.
Australia is a fairly civilised country ( although some would disagree Wink) and the fact that the standard is different here surely shows that actually there is no absolute tried and tested safe standard.
I would go with the forward facing seat if you have tried everything else.

ghosty · 10/03/2006 00:26

MP .... if the dummy worked this time then why not have a handful of them within reach so you don't have to search for them when she chucks it out ...?
I used to have at least 6 in my bag (which I could reach easily without 'looking' for them as my bag was right next to me) and as soon as DD chucked her dummy out I would just replace it ... at the end of the journey I would find all 'lost' dummies from the floor of the car, give them a wash and a dunk in boiling water and put them back in my bag for the return journey ...

FWIW ... my babies were always heavy and reached 9kgs well before 6 months but I still kept them rear facing until around 10 months (by which time they had strong necks). I figured that I only needed to brake suddenly (not even actually hit someone) on a fast road and a too young baby in a front facing seat would seriously hurt his/her neck.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/03/2006 00:45

sorry - havent read the whole thread so may have been suggested. Have you thought about putting something from home that she is familiar with for her to look at/cuddle/play with?

She may be hot or car sick too. Can you not go to your nearest mothercare/toysrus and select a few different combination seats (suits both rear and forward facing) and ask them to test them in your car for fit and then try DD in them?

mojomummy · 10/03/2006 15:26

if you had a crash & you're baby dies because it was in the wrong size car seat, how would you feel ?

That's the bottom line - there are guidelines for a reason, & if you baby is crying all the time, perhaps there is something wrong ? Does she have to go on long journeys ?

You don't want to fork out for a cranial oesteopath session but would sooner endanger her life ? I just don't get that at all.

Yes the paed is an idiot - I've never heard anything so ridiculous Angry

SoupDragon · 10/03/2006 15:38

MP, \link{http://www.kiddicare.com/invt/carbtxfstmbld\this} Britax one is forward and rear facing and suitable from birth to 4 years. Don't know what its safety record is like but something like this might be your best option?

Kathy1972 · 10/03/2006 15:45

I guess the question is how much is the risk increased by using the wrong size car seat. Those pics in the AA link that someone posted were all horrible but they were all about people doing much more drastic things, eg not strapped in at all, strapped across the wrong part of the body, etc. Whether it makes sense to compare this to what Morning Paper is proposing depends on exactly how the straps in the big car seat will work in relation to her body - will they risk throttling her etc, or will they actually sit in the right place?

MP I would not fork out for cranial osteopathy either - mainly because it's pseudoscience....

mojomummy · 10/03/2006 16:09

psuedoscience, that happens to have a good sucess rate ?! nah, not having that.

That's exactly what a chiropractor friend said - but she took her son because she was desperate and, lo & behold, he problem was identified & resolved.

A visit costs £25 + - cheaper than a new car seat, surely worth a go ?

melissasmummy · 10/03/2006 16:14

With regards to the dummy problem, just invest in one of those cheap little holders that you can attach one end to the strap of the car seat & the other end to the dummy. When she spits it out it will only fall onto her, therefore enabling you to just pop it back in her mouth again!

Kathy1972 · 10/03/2006 16:18

Show me the evidence, mojomummy.

mojomummy · 10/03/2006 18:02

what my friends phone number ?

Kathy1972 · 10/03/2006 21:17

one person = a good success rate? eh?

Are you very credulous?

Calista · 10/03/2006 21:36

Actually Kathy there are a few MN'ers that have sucessfully used cranial osteopathy for their babies. I remember it being mentioned on a few threads.

Personally I would try anything that wasn't dangerous/harmful to help my baby. Including CO.

mojomummy · 10/03/2006 22:21

Kathy1972 - yaaaaaawwn

lockets · 10/03/2006 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

starlover · 10/03/2006 22:29

cranial osteppathy worked for me, and ds and i too would highly recommend it.

it isn't pseudo science... it is a manipulation of bones... what's pseudo about that????