I cracked it! And I wrote this to help others who may be struggling
Passport trouble? A guide to preserve your sanity and travel plans
So you applied for your passport more than three weeks ago, and you need it urgently because you're going away very soon. But you can't get through to anyone to make this happen, and when you track your application online it just says 'Declaration form received, being processed'. Nothing is moving, and panic is setting in. What do you do? Here's my amateur guide to the Passport Office system, based on what I've learned over the past two frustrating weeks.
- You have to start by ringing the Passport Advice Line on 0300 222 0000. I'm afraid that it won't do any good, but it's a step you have to take. Think of it like a rite of passage into bureaucracy hell. It gets you through to a call centre that is completely removed from the main passport office, i.e. no-one you speak to actually has the ability to do much about your application. All they can do is to send an email to those who do have the power, asking them to call you back in 48 hours. Which the Passport Office is unlikely to do because they are completely snowed under. In other words, the poor call centre staff are just being paid to sit there while people yell at them in frustration. According to the Very Senior Manager I spoke to, not even the higher-ups have a phone number that will let them speak to anyone who can actually do anything to help.
Here's how the government is trying to manage things at present: the Passport Office are currently prioritising applications according to the travel date/time so that those travelling in the next few days are at the top of the queue. They will therefore ask you when you are due to travel. Don't lie to the call centre and say that you're travelling in the next week if you aren't - the Passport Office has the flight data available and they will cross-check. If there is a reason you need your passport quickly (in my case, I needed to apply for a visa) then make sure this is stated clearly on the email that is sent by the call centre to the passport office.
IMPORTANT: Do NOT call 0300 again before the 48 hours is up. If you do, your case will be sent right to the back of the queue. Counterintuitive I know, but there you go.
ALSO IMPORTANT: have your application reference number and your flight details (especially date and time) available before you call.
SNEAKY TRICK: several of my canny Facebook friends pointed out that you can buy extremely cheap one-way tickets on the cross-channel ferry (£15 single). Since applications are prioritised by travel date, buying one of these tickets and telling the passport office that you're travelling in the next day or two could well bump you up the queue. I haven't tried this (please don't blame me if it doesn't work!) but it sounds like it would be effective.
AND ANOTHER THING: It is completely pointless to bitch at the call centre staff. There is literally nothing they can do. Just go through the process and move on.
- If you are extremely lucky, you will get a callback from the passport office within 48 hours of ringing the call centre. Chances are, however, that nothing will happen. DON'T make the same mistake I did - repeating step 1 another four times in an increasingly frustrated way - because all that will happen is that you'll go round in circles for 10 days. At this point, you need to escalate the case. You do this in two ways: 1. Call the 0300 number and ask for the case to be escalated, giving your reasons. 2. Email a complaint to the Parliamentary and Diplomatic Enquiries Team ([email protected]) saying that the case is urgent, you were promised a callback and it hasn't materialised. Wait another 48 hours. In my experience, absolutely nothing will happen- but again that's not the point. This is just another step you have to go through to get to the point where you can take effective action.
- Like I said before, if you are lucky, someone will call you. If you are really lucky, someone from the Enquiries Team will actually respond to your complaint. Chances are, however, that neither of these things will happen. It's now time to bring in the big guns - vroom VROOOM! - which means getting your MP involved. (Don't know who your MP is? Find out here: findyourmp.parliament.uk/). Here's the important bit: to get their attention, it really helps if you can tell them that you've already exhausted the other options, i.e. you have used the 0300 number, and to have complained to that hpenquiries email address above.
When you send your email, don't forget to mention: when you applied for the passport, how you applied (Post Office? Online?), when you sent your declaration form if you applied online, how many weeks you've now been waiting, when you are due to travel, and any other issues (in my case, the fact that the way that they were prioritising cases wouldn't work because I needed extra time to apply for a visa). Give your name, date of birth, address, email, application number, and phone number (obvious, I know, but easy to forget).
- MPs are generally pretty good at getting through correspondence, and they have access to a special hotline number that they can call to escalate your case behind the scenes. (If you don't hear from them in 48 hours, try ringing their office). As soon as they get on your case, things will start to move. I pretty much guarantee that in just a few hours, you will get that elusive callback from the passport office. In my case, the application was fast-tracked for free, and sent it for next-day delivery. This happened within 5 hours of contacting my MP.
- If that fails, take to Twitter. Have a look at whether any media outlets in your area are appealing for cases like yours. If not, use the hashtag #passportfail and tweet your local media drawing their attention to the problem. Suggest that passport chaos (miserable families, crying children) makes a good story for the school holidays. Make sure you CC in @UKhomeoffice and @GOVUK.
Some people have been reporting that they've had success ringing the Passport Offices directly to chase things up (there are numbers online if you have a hard look). However, many also say that they have been kept on hold for well over an hour. It may be quicker and more effective to follow the steps I've outlined above. Good luck!