wobbles at university

[sharkpostitnote]

Hi moms, im sorry to say but I'm really struggling at university, and i really need some advice. Ill give some background.

I got very good grades in my A-Levels in 2025, and was set to go to my chosen university. A week in, I freaked because I wasnt ready, and took a gap year. I reapplied, and now I've been at my 26/27 for 5 weeks and I'm feeling very low.
It's a multitude of things, i'll try and list them.

Mental Health
Possible the best jumping point, I've always been anxious. I have meetings with a therapist weekly, and a supportive family. Ive reached out to my Academic Supervisor, and have a meeting scheduled with the mental health team. The thing is, I don't know if its my anxiety that's not letting me settle in and feel like I should be here, or if its not actually for me

Social Life
I'm an easy going person, and I'm really trying all the tricks in the book. Drinking, going to societies, talking to coursemates, talking with my flatmates (though, sadly ive been put with a rough bunch, and im not sure they like me very much). And I havent made any friends what so ever. It makes me feel like a failure, especially with the looming pressure of finding second year housing.

Course
I've never really been certain about a course, because I still don't have a clear job in mind. That's left me picking a course that I think could contribute to my future, but its a Business and Creative Technology degree, so I have the obvious wobbles that it wont be worth the paper its on.

Alternative Routes
I don't feel confident in alternative routes either, like an apprenticeship or a degree apprenticeship. Ive been told they’re very hard to get, are often in subjects that I'm not too interested in. My family wants me to stick with the university route, as I have one successful brother that's done it and loved it, and one that's also doing it. So when I worry that this isn't for me, I'm always crushed with the damning feeling of what on earth else would i be doing??? What other possible option can I take if university isn't for me, if i want to have a secure future?

Do things just magically get better at Christmas? It feels so painful going to sleep each day hoping for things to gradually feel better and waking up having that not happen. I'm socialising, going to societies, keeping on top of my work, and i feel like I'm seeing no reward. I want the university experience, I want a good degree and friends and for my entire outlook to change, but I'm really struggling

What am I doing wrong? How can i change? What can i even do at this point?

think it’s a ‘get out your comfort zone and realise you actually can do things’ thing

your answers on here point to this way of thinking, deep down. What do you think?

And you ARE following through, you’re going out, joining things, I’d say just hang in there. Everyone around you is new to this and feeling nervous about the whole thing.

You’re not alone!

Even if for some clubs/societies it appears people came in small groups, there will be others who show up alone. I’d say that many uni starters will want to make new friends, chat to people.

I saw that you're seeing a therapist which is good, but I didn't see if you're on meds for anxiety/depression or anything like that which might help? Struck me what you said about not being interested in any route work-wise and wanting to stay home, which sounds very much like a level of depression that numbs some of your ability to feel enthusiasm.

Of course it's tempting for many people to avoid work and growing up and all those scary things, so that's understandable, but there are positive things too and it sounds like you're not able to feel those yet or see a future where you will. It's more like you're going through the motions and struggling to feel anything positive, which could well be a chemical thing more than the course, the place, the people etc. and would still haunt you if you change track now.

So I'd probably see your GP as a first port of call - even if you are on meds, they may need reviewing. The exercise is good too and a good shout from PP about getting out in the country. Consider changing rooms too if you need to. It will be hard going into winter but keep looking after yourself, talking to your therapist and any student services that can support you. Try not to make a big decision yet as it doesn't sound like there's a better path right now and with time and the right support, this could improve.