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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Uni is just over-sold and disappointing

310 replies

Greedybilly · 22/04/2026 17:35

My lovely 19 year old has just finished Yr 1 of uni ( when did the courses end at Easter? What happened to term 3?)
She was unlucky with her flatmates who were awful to her and her course mates mostly commute.
Part time jobs are none existent and she's done umpteen trial cafe shifts only to be ghosted.
She had such high hopes and seems like a shadow of her former self. It does all feel like a massively over marketed business.
Anyone got any words of wisdom/happy endings??
Gutted for her and angry at all the hype and nonsense.

OP posts:
Ceramiq · 24/04/2026 07:13

Universities/courses are not created equal and I think that a lot of students/parents don't really do enough research and get a shock when reality is a bit of a let down. Having said that, I think university marketing is often pretty vague and misleading - module titles are very reductive. And the accommodation situation with lots of private providers is very complex and a long way from the original boarding school / Oxbridge model that shapes perception of what undergraduate life will look like.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 24/04/2026 07:34

Giraffeandthedog · 23/04/2026 22:14

Universities don't really play a part in convincing young to people to enter higher education more generally.

That feels a bit like saying that McDonalds and KFC don’t persuade people to eat junk food, they just compete against each other.

I’m not really sure this analogy works.

Young people need to do something once they leave school. University is one choice.

Universities genuinely don’t see themselves as competing against jobs and apprenticeships.
Universities deliver degree apprenticeships so if a young person chooses that route then a university still benefits!

We also don’t believe that every single young person should go to university. It’s not for everyone and we don’t want people who don’t want to be there or who are’t capable of degree level study. Not to mention that someone who goes into employment straight from school may choose to study later in life.

Schools and colleges in England follow a framework of career guidance. This includes encounters with employers and universities. There are legal requirements around ensuring all options are presented to young people.
However, there is a significant amount of research that says schools and colleges promote higher education above all other options to those on level 3 programmes.

I’ve been involved in student recruitment in one form or another for 20 years. Not once have I (or seen others) trying to compete against employment as an option. We’re just competing against each other! And in a very friendly way!

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 24/04/2026 07:36

RockyKeen · 24/04/2026 01:24

How would you know which have established good student experiences?

NSS
Graduate Outcomes
TEF
Student room

User88765 · 24/04/2026 08:11

Ceramiq · 24/04/2026 07:13

Universities/courses are not created equal and I think that a lot of students/parents don't really do enough research and get a shock when reality is a bit of a let down. Having said that, I think university marketing is often pretty vague and misleading - module titles are very reductive. And the accommodation situation with lots of private providers is very complex and a long way from the original boarding school / Oxbridge model that shapes perception of what undergraduate life will look like.

I think this is key.

Your child is unlikely to have the same experience at former FE college in a smallish town/city which now also offers degrees alongside other courses as they will in a large highly ranked university. Your child who wants to be a lawyer but will only get BCC in their A levels is not going to get a job as a lawyer just because the university of Smallville accepted them onto a law degree (they literally just want the cash). Your child will not have the same experience at a large city university as they will at a campus university (by which I mean fully self contained on a separate site rather than a cluster of buildings in the same part of a busy city). Your child will not have the same student experience at a central London university as they will in a smaller place. Likewise your child who loves clubbing and wants to be going to different clubs every night and mixing with non students is unlikely to be happy studying in Falmouth.

It's really important to think about the life they will have as well as the rankings of the university (which is often heavily influenced anyway by research factors which are largely irrelevant to undergraduate study anyway). This is partly because once they are established in their first job (which is increasingly likely to be something at a slightly lower level than they had been expecting due to the dire state of the graduate job market), nobody actually really cares about where they went to Uni, they care predominantly about their last job and their working experience. So yes your school will be pushing LSE and LSE is of course very highly ranked and well regarded but LSE also has a very, very high proportion of overseas students who typically don't mix outside of their own group, its central London and so you are not in an environment purely made up of students and its central London so you are likely to be living some way away - probably with students from different universities in a private accommodation block. All of those factors will have a significant impact on how easy it is to meet friends. That is going to be completely different to say Bath or Lancaster which are also top ten universities in the rankings but are in small cities which are heavily dominated by students and are self contained on green campuses where everywhere you turn you are next to another student and you are spoon fed opportunities for socialising. Lancaster for example literally has six different bars just on campus itself plus an SU run student only nightclub in the city.

Accommodation is also crucial. Collegiate universities like Oxford, Cambridge, Durham, Lancaster and York have far more of a boarding school feeling and are very community focused since they effectively split the kids into groups and each will have their own common room, sports and social teams, balls and parties, bars etc. There is inter college rivalry which adds to that "extended sixth form" /community loyalty feeling. It's a nurturing environment and it's easy to get to know people in your college due to all of the events laid on. Some kids won't want that at all and will want to feel like they're living completely separately to where they study and will prefer private accommodation and arranging their own social activities away from other students.

You really need to research carefully and think about the type of lifestyle your child wants to be living. Then you need to set their expectations. It's really pure luck who they end up living with. They can't rely on liking their flat mates.

Personally I steered my DC towards campus based universities since IMO it's the best of both worlds. If you don't hit it off with your flat mates its far easier to meet other friends and you can live off campus in years 2/3/4 if campus living is not your ideal situation.

Ceramiq · 24/04/2026 09:58

@User88765 You are of course right to emphasize the difference between provincial city vs campus vs London universities. Something I think people overlook too often is the proximity to employers afforded by London universities: employers show up constantly on campus for soft recruitment events, often linked to student societies; the fact that you have student accommodation in London enables you to take up internships in the summer holidays; and student jobs are far more widely available. And just by virtue of living in a big international city creates a competitive awareness of the realities of adult working life that isn't obvious in smaller settings.

User88765 · 24/04/2026 10:10

Ceramiq · 24/04/2026 09:58

@User88765 You are of course right to emphasize the difference between provincial city vs campus vs London universities. Something I think people overlook too often is the proximity to employers afforded by London universities: employers show up constantly on campus for soft recruitment events, often linked to student societies; the fact that you have student accommodation in London enables you to take up internships in the summer holidays; and student jobs are far more widely available. And just by virtue of living in a big international city creates a competitive awareness of the realities of adult working life that isn't obvious in smaller settings.

Absolutely agree. It makes a big difference when looking for a job.

It's a balance and its important to weigh up all factors.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 24/04/2026 10:18

@RockyKeen My DDs went to a private school and they knew girls who had sisters in their year group who fed back info. This s useful for halls of residence. Neighbours dc and anyone who you trust. Surveys are ok but don’t tell you which halls might suit you. DDs found this intel useful.

CreativeGreen · 24/04/2026 10:22

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 24/04/2026 10:18

@RockyKeen My DDs went to a private school and they knew girls who had sisters in their year group who fed back info. This s useful for halls of residence. Neighbours dc and anyone who you trust. Surveys are ok but don’t tell you which halls might suit you. DDs found this intel useful.

And I assume it would still have been useful even if they'd been to state school?

User88765 · 24/04/2026 10:25

CreativeGreen · 24/04/2026 10:22

And I assume it would still have been useful even if they'd been to state school?

Oh no no - they don't go to university do they?

Ceramiq · 24/04/2026 10:46

User88765 · 24/04/2026 10:25

Oh no no - they don't go to university do they?

Or perhaps they have no networking skills if they've been to state schools?

crazycrofter · 24/04/2026 10:47

JustGiveMeReason · 24/04/2026 00:29

Hardly.
You don't have Universities advertising themselves on TV
You don't have Universities advertising themselves on bus tickets
You don't have Universities putting coupons in newspapers.
etc
etc
You have to already be interested in going to University, and start looking in to which Universities you think you might be interested in, before you come across any of their marketing.

They definitely do advertise - I've seen adverts for the local university at the cinema and also on the backs of buses.

tripleginandtonic · 24/04/2026 10:51

Greedybilly · 22/04/2026 18:05

Thanks all for your replies. She has joined a couple of societies etc. I think her flatmates in halls have just crushed her. Shocking levels of meaness though. She has found a new house and random flat mates for Yr 2- surely they can't be worse?
Just gutted and upsetting to see her so flat she's normally such a happy soul.
The course is going well and she's interested in it so I guess that's good.

My dc shared with "randoms" in y2 and is still going on holiday with them after they've graduated. Im sure her next year will be better.

UKnolongeraliberaldemocracy · 24/04/2026 12:19

User88765 · 24/04/2026 08:11

I think this is key.

Your child is unlikely to have the same experience at former FE college in a smallish town/city which now also offers degrees alongside other courses as they will in a large highly ranked university. Your child who wants to be a lawyer but will only get BCC in their A levels is not going to get a job as a lawyer just because the university of Smallville accepted them onto a law degree (they literally just want the cash). Your child will not have the same experience at a large city university as they will at a campus university (by which I mean fully self contained on a separate site rather than a cluster of buildings in the same part of a busy city). Your child will not have the same student experience at a central London university as they will in a smaller place. Likewise your child who loves clubbing and wants to be going to different clubs every night and mixing with non students is unlikely to be happy studying in Falmouth.

It's really important to think about the life they will have as well as the rankings of the university (which is often heavily influenced anyway by research factors which are largely irrelevant to undergraduate study anyway). This is partly because once they are established in their first job (which is increasingly likely to be something at a slightly lower level than they had been expecting due to the dire state of the graduate job market), nobody actually really cares about where they went to Uni, they care predominantly about their last job and their working experience. So yes your school will be pushing LSE and LSE is of course very highly ranked and well regarded but LSE also has a very, very high proportion of overseas students who typically don't mix outside of their own group, its central London and so you are not in an environment purely made up of students and its central London so you are likely to be living some way away - probably with students from different universities in a private accommodation block. All of those factors will have a significant impact on how easy it is to meet friends. That is going to be completely different to say Bath or Lancaster which are also top ten universities in the rankings but are in small cities which are heavily dominated by students and are self contained on green campuses where everywhere you turn you are next to another student and you are spoon fed opportunities for socialising. Lancaster for example literally has six different bars just on campus itself plus an SU run student only nightclub in the city.

Accommodation is also crucial. Collegiate universities like Oxford, Cambridge, Durham, Lancaster and York have far more of a boarding school feeling and are very community focused since they effectively split the kids into groups and each will have their own common room, sports and social teams, balls and parties, bars etc. There is inter college rivalry which adds to that "extended sixth form" /community loyalty feeling. It's a nurturing environment and it's easy to get to know people in your college due to all of the events laid on. Some kids won't want that at all and will want to feel like they're living completely separately to where they study and will prefer private accommodation and arranging their own social activities away from other students.

You really need to research carefully and think about the type of lifestyle your child wants to be living. Then you need to set their expectations. It's really pure luck who they end up living with. They can't rely on liking their flat mates.

Personally I steered my DC towards campus based universities since IMO it's the best of both worlds. If you don't hit it off with your flat mates its far easier to meet other friends and you can live off campus in years 2/3/4 if campus living is not your ideal situation.

Yes all good points.

Wanted to add that Loughborough Uni has been brilliant for my YP. Reluctantly applied via Clearing (actually entry grades higher than for his insurance option, he was lucky to grab it first thing) to Loughborough University.

So impressed - they're a semi-collegiate campus uni. They have 'halls' but it's the same idea where they do socials organised by the halls leadership team (uni students), have had socials in their common room, socials organised to venues and the races, a Christmas ball at a beautiful venue in Nott'ham and now a Summer ball in a stately home.

Wasn't enamoured initially when got their accommodation as they wanted ensuite but loving the catered - catered I think is the way to go if you want an easy way to socialise - and overall the catered works out very good value.

Contact hours have been high (compared with some other unis), and they have lectures after Easter (for 3 weeks) then lots of in-person exams and the last exam is early June. Feels like good value and YP is so, so, so happy there.

Only caveat is that even if you are district or just below county level (or even county level) you may not make it into the main BUCS teams but there is IMS (halls sports, healthy rivalry) and of course lots of sports opportunities.

Beamur · 24/04/2026 16:41

One of DD's friends is at Loughborough. Very marmite uni imo.
She's finding the course is great but the social opportunities outside of sports is dire.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 24/04/2026 18:20

@Greedybilly Why did she not ask to move into a different hall? Seems a bit odd not to do this.

nevernotmaybe · 24/04/2026 18:43

UnlikelyIntimacies · 23/04/2026 14:11

Plus the customer is paying to be taught by expert academics. That kind of knowledge isn't acquired (researched, written up, disseminated etc) by doing an online course in an hour with a multiple choice quiz at the end.

If you are at a good university, you aren't paying to be taught. You are paying for access to guidance, structure, access to resources, and assessment as you teach yourself. The vast majority of what you learn at university should be done on your own. If you are being taught most of it in classes, your course and/or university is not great.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 24/04/2026 19:31

@nevernotmaybe I think a lot of scientists would not necessarily agree with this. Plus what’s the point of academic research if it never informs the student body? Might as well not bother! It’s not teaching like a school, of course. It’s imparting research and acting as a catalyst for learning. It’s about structured seminars and learning how to debate and evaluate ideas. No student can do this on their own and the range of skills a student should acquire won’t be if they don’t fully engage.

UKnolongeraliberaldemocracy · 24/04/2026 19:55

@Beamur Really surprised about this. But maybe it's halls dependent. Maybe it's individual-dependent too in some cases.

My YP didn't know a soul and has made some lovely, sociable friends. Maybe they lucked out with the people they met in their 'corridor/flat'? They go to the SU at least once a week, to the pubs/Spoons in Lboro town and also out to Notts sometimes. Their halls have put on socials to events at Notts and the races etc.

Admittedly they do IMS sports (not the main uni teams, it's the college/halls team) now, but long before they did that they had created a social network of friends. Some go to the gym, some plays sports, others don't do any sports at all.

DancyNancy · 25/04/2026 00:15

Greedybilly · 22/04/2026 18:40

@HighLadyofTheNightCourttoo bloody right I'm bashing the university! I think the system is so wrong and very money orientated.
You're really not helping and have the empathy of a dead cat.
Please go now and do something else with your evening.

I live in a university city in Ireland and more than one employee/lecturer from the main university has told me on separate occasions that it's very money oriented now. Course quality dropping and the main focus seems to be getting foreign students in on full fees (college fees subsidised heavily for post leaving cert students in Ireland).

Fees and college accomodation in the city are €€€€. The subsided fees were meant to make higher education accessible for most but the accomodation fees have sky rocketed so it's unaffordable for many now unless they already live in the city with family.

SkipAd · 25/04/2026 00:42

Greedybilly · 22/04/2026 17:35

My lovely 19 year old has just finished Yr 1 of uni ( when did the courses end at Easter? What happened to term 3?)
She was unlucky with her flatmates who were awful to her and her course mates mostly commute.
Part time jobs are none existent and she's done umpteen trial cafe shifts only to be ghosted.
She had such high hopes and seems like a shadow of her former self. It does all feel like a massively over marketed business.
Anyone got any words of wisdom/happy endings??
Gutted for her and angry at all the hype and nonsense.

I actually am sorry you’re so upset about your child feeling unhappy but I just honestly feel furious about what you’re saying right now and how much you are missing the point.
University isn’t PGL, it isn’t a paid for “experience” Not so long ago, university students were the very, very brightest (academically at least) who were there to learn, to study, to broaden their lives and those of others. People chose degrees they were passionate about, they spent their time learning more in-depth knowledge about their particular subject. Believe it or not, many university students still spend a lot of time on learning and broadening their subject knowledge.
That is literally the point of a university education.
It is not to give a young adult something to do, and if it is, it is bloody difficult and vastly overpriced.

ShetlandishMum · 25/04/2026 02:02

University has been good for our oldest two children but they worked quite independent and had jobs.
One us doing a 2 years master degree in midwifery at a Nordic University now the widwifery at Plymouth University after having worked both in hospitals in England, France og Scandinavian.
One us a Junior Doctor first year and very busy with training and futher studies.

I am much more in doubt with the youngest. She doesn't have a strong will set on a 'useful' subject. Yet.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 25/04/2026 06:50

DancyNancy · 25/04/2026 00:15

I live in a university city in Ireland and more than one employee/lecturer from the main university has told me on separate occasions that it's very money oriented now. Course quality dropping and the main focus seems to be getting foreign students in on full fees (college fees subsidised heavily for post leaving cert students in Ireland).

Fees and college accomodation in the city are €€€€. The subsided fees were meant to make higher education accessible for most but the accomodation fees have sky rocketed so it's unaffordable for many now unless they already live in the city with family.

If it’s anything like the UK it’s money oriented so that universities can stay open, pay staff and keep the lights on! Not to make profit.

Without international students universities would close. And people might be surprised which universities are most at risk from a significant drop in international students. There are a number of highly ranked and Russell Group universities whose financial models are reliant on high international numbers.

As for accommodation, the high priced luxury accommodation is almost always privately owned and nothing to do with the university itself.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 25/04/2026 09:01

@crazycrofter The only universities that advertise like that are looking for lively dc. Oxbridge doesn’t. It’s about bums on seats universities!

SpryTaupeTurtle · 25/04/2026 09:12

Greedybilly · 22/04/2026 18:40

@HighLadyofTheNightCourttoo bloody right I'm bashing the university! I think the system is so wrong and very money orientated.
You're really not helping and have the empathy of a dead cat.
Please go now and do something else with your evening.

The University I go to ran at a loss last year.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 25/04/2026 09:25

Pettifogg · 22/04/2026 19:20

I think gradually people in Britain will start to follow what other countries do - go to uni near home and commute. The reason it hasn't quite taken off just yet is because the parents of the current uni-age cohort all went to unis away from home, so they think this is how it should be and don't advise their children of any other way.

But over the coming years, there will be a gradual shift until we are more like Europe and Australia.

The rich kids might still go, as a kind of extended boarding school experience, but other students won't so much.

I went to uni in 1989 and commuted. Lots of my peers did. I lived less than 20 miles from uni and a 45 minute bus got me there and back.

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