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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Uni is just over-sold and disappointing

189 replies

Greedybilly · 22/04/2026 17:35

My lovely 19 year old has just finished Yr 1 of uni ( when did the courses end at Easter? What happened to term 3?)
She was unlucky with her flatmates who were awful to her and her course mates mostly commute.
Part time jobs are none existent and she's done umpteen trial cafe shifts only to be ghosted.
She had such high hopes and seems like a shadow of her former self. It does all feel like a massively over marketed business.
Anyone got any words of wisdom/happy endings??
Gutted for her and angry at all the hype and nonsense.

OP posts:
Ceramiq · Today 07:13

Universities/courses are not created equal and I think that a lot of students/parents don't really do enough research and get a shock when reality is a bit of a let down. Having said that, I think university marketing is often pretty vague and misleading - module titles are very reductive. And the accommodation situation with lots of private providers is very complex and a long way from the original boarding school / Oxbridge model that shapes perception of what undergraduate life will look like.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · Today 07:34

Giraffeandthedog · Yesterday 22:14

Universities don't really play a part in convincing young to people to enter higher education more generally.

That feels a bit like saying that McDonalds and KFC don’t persuade people to eat junk food, they just compete against each other.

I’m not really sure this analogy works.

Young people need to do something once they leave school. University is one choice.

Universities genuinely don’t see themselves as competing against jobs and apprenticeships.
Universities deliver degree apprenticeships so if a young person chooses that route then a university still benefits!

We also don’t believe that every single young person should go to university. It’s not for everyone and we don’t want people who don’t want to be there or who are’t capable of degree level study. Not to mention that someone who goes into employment straight from school may choose to study later in life.

Schools and colleges in England follow a framework of career guidance. This includes encounters with employers and universities. There are legal requirements around ensuring all options are presented to young people.
However, there is a significant amount of research that says schools and colleges promote higher education above all other options to those on level 3 programmes.

I’ve been involved in student recruitment in one form or another for 20 years. Not once have I (or seen others) trying to compete against employment as an option. We’re just competing against each other! And in a very friendly way!

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · Today 07:36

RockyKeen · Today 01:24

How would you know which have established good student experiences?

NSS
Graduate Outcomes
TEF
Student room

User88765 · Today 08:11

Ceramiq · Today 07:13

Universities/courses are not created equal and I think that a lot of students/parents don't really do enough research and get a shock when reality is a bit of a let down. Having said that, I think university marketing is often pretty vague and misleading - module titles are very reductive. And the accommodation situation with lots of private providers is very complex and a long way from the original boarding school / Oxbridge model that shapes perception of what undergraduate life will look like.

I think this is key.

Your child is unlikely to have the same experience at former FE college in a smallish town/city which now also offers degrees alongside other courses as they will in a large highly ranked university. Your child who wants to be a lawyer but will only get BCC in their A levels is not going to get a job as a lawyer just because the university of Smallville accepted them onto a law degree (they literally just want the cash). Your child will not have the same experience at a large city university as they will at a campus university (by which I mean fully self contained on a separate site rather than a cluster of buildings in the same part of a busy city). Your child will not have the same student experience at a central London university as they will in a smaller place. Likewise your child who loves clubbing and wants to be going to different clubs every night and mixing with non students is unlikely to be happy studying in Falmouth.

It's really important to think about the life they will have as well as the rankings of the university (which is often heavily influenced anyway by research factors which are largely irrelevant to undergraduate study anyway). This is partly because once they are established in their first job (which is increasingly likely to be something at a slightly lower level than they had been expecting due to the dire state of the graduate job market), nobody actually really cares about where they went to Uni, they care predominantly about their last job and their working experience. So yes your school will be pushing LSE and LSE is of course very highly ranked and well regarded but LSE also has a very, very high proportion of overseas students who typically don't mix outside of their own group, its central London and so you are not in an environment purely made up of students and its central London so you are likely to be living some way away - probably with students from different universities in a private accommodation block. All of those factors will have a significant impact on how easy it is to meet friends. That is going to be completely different to say Bath or Lancaster which are also top ten universities in the rankings but are in small cities which are heavily dominated by students and are self contained on green campuses where everywhere you turn you are next to another student and you are spoon fed opportunities for socialising. Lancaster for example literally has six different bars just on campus itself plus an SU run student only nightclub in the city.

Accommodation is also crucial. Collegiate universities like Oxford, Cambridge, Durham, Lancaster and York have far more of a boarding school feeling and are very community focused since they effectively split the kids into groups and each will have their own common room, sports and social teams, balls and parties, bars etc. There is inter college rivalry which adds to that "extended sixth form" /community loyalty feeling. It's a nurturing environment and it's easy to get to know people in your college due to all of the events laid on. Some kids won't want that at all and will want to feel like they're living completely separately to where they study and will prefer private accommodation and arranging their own social activities away from other students.

You really need to research carefully and think about the type of lifestyle your child wants to be living. Then you need to set their expectations. It's really pure luck who they end up living with. They can't rely on liking their flat mates.

Personally I steered my DC towards campus based universities since IMO it's the best of both worlds. If you don't hit it off with your flat mates its far easier to meet other friends and you can live off campus in years 2/3/4 if campus living is not your ideal situation.

Ceramiq · Today 09:58

@User88765 You are of course right to emphasize the difference between provincial city vs campus vs London universities. Something I think people overlook too often is the proximity to employers afforded by London universities: employers show up constantly on campus for soft recruitment events, often linked to student societies; the fact that you have student accommodation in London enables you to take up internships in the summer holidays; and student jobs are far more widely available. And just by virtue of living in a big international city creates a competitive awareness of the realities of adult working life that isn't obvious in smaller settings.

User88765 · Today 10:10

Ceramiq · Today 09:58

@User88765 You are of course right to emphasize the difference between provincial city vs campus vs London universities. Something I think people overlook too often is the proximity to employers afforded by London universities: employers show up constantly on campus for soft recruitment events, often linked to student societies; the fact that you have student accommodation in London enables you to take up internships in the summer holidays; and student jobs are far more widely available. And just by virtue of living in a big international city creates a competitive awareness of the realities of adult working life that isn't obvious in smaller settings.

Absolutely agree. It makes a big difference when looking for a job.

It's a balance and its important to weigh up all factors.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · Today 10:18

@RockyKeen My DDs went to a private school and they knew girls who had sisters in their year group who fed back info. This s useful for halls of residence. Neighbours dc and anyone who you trust. Surveys are ok but don’t tell you which halls might suit you. DDs found this intel useful.

CreativeGreen · Today 10:22

MeetMeOnTheCorner · Today 10:18

@RockyKeen My DDs went to a private school and they knew girls who had sisters in their year group who fed back info. This s useful for halls of residence. Neighbours dc and anyone who you trust. Surveys are ok but don’t tell you which halls might suit you. DDs found this intel useful.

And I assume it would still have been useful even if they'd been to state school?

User88765 · Today 10:25

CreativeGreen · Today 10:22

And I assume it would still have been useful even if they'd been to state school?

Oh no no - they don't go to university do they?

Ceramiq · Today 10:46

User88765 · Today 10:25

Oh no no - they don't go to university do they?

Or perhaps they have no networking skills if they've been to state schools?

crazycrofter · Today 10:47

JustGiveMeReason · Today 00:29

Hardly.
You don't have Universities advertising themselves on TV
You don't have Universities advertising themselves on bus tickets
You don't have Universities putting coupons in newspapers.
etc
etc
You have to already be interested in going to University, and start looking in to which Universities you think you might be interested in, before you come across any of their marketing.

They definitely do advertise - I've seen adverts for the local university at the cinema and also on the backs of buses.

tripleginandtonic · Today 10:51

Greedybilly · 22/04/2026 18:05

Thanks all for your replies. She has joined a couple of societies etc. I think her flatmates in halls have just crushed her. Shocking levels of meaness though. She has found a new house and random flat mates for Yr 2- surely they can't be worse?
Just gutted and upsetting to see her so flat she's normally such a happy soul.
The course is going well and she's interested in it so I guess that's good.

My dc shared with "randoms" in y2 and is still going on holiday with them after they've graduated. Im sure her next year will be better.

UKnolongeraliberaldemocracy · Today 12:19

User88765 · Today 08:11

I think this is key.

Your child is unlikely to have the same experience at former FE college in a smallish town/city which now also offers degrees alongside other courses as they will in a large highly ranked university. Your child who wants to be a lawyer but will only get BCC in their A levels is not going to get a job as a lawyer just because the university of Smallville accepted them onto a law degree (they literally just want the cash). Your child will not have the same experience at a large city university as they will at a campus university (by which I mean fully self contained on a separate site rather than a cluster of buildings in the same part of a busy city). Your child will not have the same student experience at a central London university as they will in a smaller place. Likewise your child who loves clubbing and wants to be going to different clubs every night and mixing with non students is unlikely to be happy studying in Falmouth.

It's really important to think about the life they will have as well as the rankings of the university (which is often heavily influenced anyway by research factors which are largely irrelevant to undergraduate study anyway). This is partly because once they are established in their first job (which is increasingly likely to be something at a slightly lower level than they had been expecting due to the dire state of the graduate job market), nobody actually really cares about where they went to Uni, they care predominantly about their last job and their working experience. So yes your school will be pushing LSE and LSE is of course very highly ranked and well regarded but LSE also has a very, very high proportion of overseas students who typically don't mix outside of their own group, its central London and so you are not in an environment purely made up of students and its central London so you are likely to be living some way away - probably with students from different universities in a private accommodation block. All of those factors will have a significant impact on how easy it is to meet friends. That is going to be completely different to say Bath or Lancaster which are also top ten universities in the rankings but are in small cities which are heavily dominated by students and are self contained on green campuses where everywhere you turn you are next to another student and you are spoon fed opportunities for socialising. Lancaster for example literally has six different bars just on campus itself plus an SU run student only nightclub in the city.

Accommodation is also crucial. Collegiate universities like Oxford, Cambridge, Durham, Lancaster and York have far more of a boarding school feeling and are very community focused since they effectively split the kids into groups and each will have their own common room, sports and social teams, balls and parties, bars etc. There is inter college rivalry which adds to that "extended sixth form" /community loyalty feeling. It's a nurturing environment and it's easy to get to know people in your college due to all of the events laid on. Some kids won't want that at all and will want to feel like they're living completely separately to where they study and will prefer private accommodation and arranging their own social activities away from other students.

You really need to research carefully and think about the type of lifestyle your child wants to be living. Then you need to set their expectations. It's really pure luck who they end up living with. They can't rely on liking their flat mates.

Personally I steered my DC towards campus based universities since IMO it's the best of both worlds. If you don't hit it off with your flat mates its far easier to meet other friends and you can live off campus in years 2/3/4 if campus living is not your ideal situation.

Yes all good points.

Wanted to add that Loughborough Uni has been brilliant for my YP. Reluctantly applied via Clearing (actually entry grades higher than for his insurance option, he was lucky to grab it first thing) to Loughborough University.

So impressed - they're a semi-collegiate campus uni. They have 'halls' but it's the same idea where they do socials organised by the halls leadership team (uni students), have had socials in their common room, socials organised to venues and the races, a Christmas ball at a beautiful venue in Nott'ham and now a Summer ball in a stately home.

Wasn't enamoured initially when got their accommodation as they wanted ensuite but loving the catered - catered I think is the way to go if you want an easy way to socialise - and overall the catered works out very good value.

Contact hours have been high (compared with some other unis), and they have lectures after Easter (for 3 weeks) then lots of in-person exams and the last exam is early June. Feels like good value and YP is so, so, so happy there.

Only caveat is that even if you are district or just below county level (or even county level) you may not make it into the main BUCS teams but there is IMS (halls sports, healthy rivalry) and of course lots of sports opportunities.

Beamur · Today 16:41

One of DD's friends is at Loughborough. Very marmite uni imo.
She's finding the course is great but the social opportunities outside of sports is dire.

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