Durham Uni colleges and room choices for an autistic/ADHD student in 2026

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My son is fortunate enough to have an offer from Durham University for entry in 2026 and currently he intends to make it his firm choice. He needs to rank colleges and decide on room types. He has ASD (autism) and ADHD diagnoses. He is high functioning and I don't think it is that noticeable and he's not keen drawing attention to this - he would like to fit in and make friends like everyone else and not necessarily with a group of friends who are all neurodiverse! I think he could easily be seen as 'normal' but he is unlikely to be the most confident outgoing life-and-soul-of-the party type. He is therefore not sure what to do about these diagnoses when it comes to college and room preferences! I am therefore really appreciate the views of any Durham University parents or students could help with a bit of insight into life at the colleges please?

DS definitely favours catered colleges over self-catering so plans to rank in that order. I also think that would probably be the best option for him in the first year as shopping for food and cooking will be one less thing to have to get used to, he will be on a busy high-contact-hours (STEM) course and, hopefully, the communal nature of a catered dining room will help foster friendships. However, he and I are a bit unsure whether it is a good or bad idea for him to share a room. Some colleges have lots of shared rooms and I am not sure if it's a good or bad thing for someone who is ASD/ADHD! My gut feeling is he would be better off with his own room as it gives him personal space and somewhere to retreat to. On the other hand, as he is somewhat shy anyway, I wonder if not sharing a room would mean he would need to work harder to make friends and get himself out there, bearing in mind he can be a bit a of a recluse in his own bedroom at home? He isn't sure about this either as he has never had to share a room. I don't think he would be difficult to share with (quiet personality, shows consideration for others) but he may find it somewhat stressful if a room mate is quite different to him and maybe not very considerate to share with? I guess most people would not like that to some extent but it would likely affect him more because of his diagnoses.

He's convinced that, when at University, he intends to be out and about doing things so will make friends in clubs etc, so he may come out of his shell and not be a recluse in his room (I hope so)! However, I am interested to get the views and experiences of Durham parents/students and/or those in other universities with similar diagnosis? He is a bit wary of making too much of a disability diagnosis and potentially getting labelled/marginalised. I don't think he would like it if the disability support team put him in a specialist disabled room, for example.

He seems quite happy to share a bathroom which thankfully reduces the cost - we discussed the pros and cons of ensuites being more expensive and which he would have to clean himself versus the lower rent cost of standard (non ensuite) rooms, sharing shower rooms with a few others but having them cleaned regularly for them!

His diagnoses were many years ago so university living accommodation choices was not something that was considered in his assessments and, hence, we have no advice on this and we are trying to work out what would suit him!

We have been to an open day and looked at some of the colleges but insights from those who have experienced it would help with the choice!

Thank you!

DS1 is at Durham. No ASD. STEM subject.

The first thing to be aware of is that there is no guarantee of getting one of the colleges that you rank highly. My understanding is that, after the deadline, all prospective students are assigned a random place in the queue and the allocations start from the top. So the students with random number 1-200 (or whatever) will definitely get their first choice but if they all put Univ and thus filled it, number 201 wouldn't get Univ as their first choice but would get their second choice, and number 202 might still get their first choice if that was Hatfield.

DS1 got his 6th choice (catered, single room) but is happy with it after initial grumbling.

My understanding is that most colleges have a majority of rooms as single, shared bathroom but the exact proportions of room types will vary. So you can't guarantee a specific type.

I would agree catered is a good option and DS1 has found it social to have meals together.

The other decision is Hill (near the Bill Bryson library etc) vs Bailey (down the hill, into town) - DS1 preferred Hill as nearer to lectures and labs.

I know nothing about Durham but having done uni accommodation in varying forms and with a strong suspicion I am ND.

Go own room it's a controlled space they can retreat to when they need time to chill/ reset.
First term of Uni is exhausting for many students ND or not. I survived my first year of uni by having my own room. My flat mates were fine but not my best friends over the course of a year I found my group but I was always always glad to have my own space to get back to when needed.
As a post grad I did it all again and rapidly got myself out of the standard flat because sharing with people I had nothing in common with and who were very different to me was over whelming.

In both situations I found my group and had a good time but if I had had to share with someone I would never have had time to switch off.

I'm not sure the queue is totally random. My understanding was that each college should end up with students across a range of courses. My DS wanted s/c and got his first choice so I cannot tell you about catered.

What I will say is that your DS has a great attitude to joining clubs. There are loads that are not focussed on late nights and alcohol. My DS (also STEM) had a fab time at Durham and I hope yours does too.

My experience of Durham is many years old so I don't know if this is still the case, but when I knew people there, some of them were in shared bedrooms and a lot of the ASD/ADHD people I know would completely fall apart if they had to share a bedroom. Therefore do make sure that the imperative for a solo bedroom is prioritised as a need if there is any chance of having to share.

Thank you, lots of helpful comments! Yes, I think he can't guarantee anything on college room type, let alone college but at this stage he needs to decide what preferences he wants to state! So, it looks like single room is going to be best. I gather though that if he states he needs a single room to the disability support people that still won't help with initial allocation. He will probably get allocated randomly at first so one dilemma he is wrestling with is what if he gets allocated one of his top colleges but is given a shared room, then gets reallocated to a single room by the disability support team in a college he placed somewhere down the bottom of his preferences! I think he currently favours the Bailey colleges!

The disability support team will make a recommendation: they won't allocate a particular college. It is easier to declare now - if the recommended need is a single room, then the college choice would not be affected as all colleges have single rooms.

My son is in the 2nd year of Durham with ASD and sounds similar to yours. Although your son doesn’t want to draw attention to his diagnosis, I know mine really benefitted from the early arrival induction programme. It allowed him to settle in and make a good group of friends which made it easier to expand from in the early days. He doesn’t feel he has been labelled or marginalised and his close friends now are a mix of NT and neurodivergent.

You only have to worry about college selection at this point. Rooms won’t be allocated until after results and if you ask for a single room it is very unlikely a shared room will be allocated to an ASD student particularly if disability services are involved.

My son is at St John’s and loves it. Some people are put off from it as they think it is very religious - but it isn’t. It also comes with lots of benefits including free formals and laundry and it has its own catering (as does Chads) which is generally considered better than the centralised catering for the other colleges. He only lived in for the first year, but still spends a lot of time in college now.

I would also recommend he looks at the less popular colleges (Greys, Van Mildert, Trevs and St Aidans) and include at least one of them in his top 5 preferences. It seems most people who are dissapointed with their initial allocation placed all the most popular choices at the top of their preferences. Castle is so popular and Chads is popular and small, that placing them in anything other than 1st place is a waste.

Thank you so much for the further insight, really useful! ArticSaviour, thanks, that helps to know he might get lucky with a college he really wants and not need to worry they would reallocate his if he wants a single room for disability reasons! Chad's is probably the one he may have to pass on because of its high number of shared rooms, even though it looks lovely!

Jaxx, thanks, it is really useful to know how good the early arrival scheme is. I had wondered about that. I think my DS is currently wrestling a bit with not wanting to make himself stand out as 'different'. I know arrival at university is a bit of a 'fresh start' when they all want to make the best impression with their peers and he an 18 year old trying to find his place in life! He is, I think, wondering about getting labelled as a certain type if he turns up early because of disability support provision! However, having seen that Durham say 25% of their students have a disability he isn't going to be in a small minority. I guess this is a time for a bit of self reflection about what is going to make him feel most comfortable and happy. I am very interested to hear your DS is at St John's because I was looking at that one as a good potential. Unfortunately, we missed getting a tour of it on the open day as we ran out of time and it was closing when we got to it. We also missed Hatfield for the same reason. We loved Chads but the large number of shared rooms is going to be a big drawback, not to mention the low odds of getting in there! Funnily enough my DS wasn't impressed with Castle. He thought it was too much like a stately home as there were exhibits that were cordoned off! I guess that may be part of the appeal for some people.

Did your DS put St John's first, as a matter of interest? I am assuming that with most Bailey colleges it's first choice or bust (apart from St Cuths which has another site 10 minutes away and no control over which site you get allocated). I was wondering about the religious connection at St John's. Is it very low key then? DS is a self-declared aetheist but he would definitely like a kind, caring type of community vibe if that's how St John's is. I don't think he would mind mingling with the trainee priests either, he would just not like it if there was an expectation of everyone being religious.

DD had a place last year (didn't go as opted for a gap year) and I was really impressed by the disability services at Durham. She (well I) wrote with documentation why she needed catered and a room on her own - she had a serious eating disorder and although recovered, finds it hard to make choices around food so the structure of catered might help. Also diagnosed with social anxiety (common in anorexics) so a shared room would be unsuitable.

I wrote it for her, which I know goes against the whole 'let them be independent thing' but if you've got a child with additional needs you need to bat for them (she's got ADHD too and I think probably autism). It was a very clear, reasoned explanation, which I think helped.

Not only did the give her a catered college and a room on her own, they said she should have an ensuite too - ended up being offered all that in one of the most popular colleges.

I was a bit gutted that she gave all that up!

Send me a private message if you want more details.

This was, if I remember, offered before results day - on college allocation.

We managed to visit lots of colleges when we went for open day and offer holder day (we only missed hild beed, st chads and st Aidan’s I think!) - obviously this is just a snap shot, and my opinion could differ from yours! But of the catered colleges we saw both St John’s and Trevs stood out to us as welcoming, inclusive and really nice places to be. At Trevs the assistant principal, who is in charge of wellbeing, came and talked to us and seemed genuinely kind, caring and helpful. Stephenson also had a really welcoming and inclusive feel, but that is not catered.

He did put it first. He was all set to go with Stephenson (he likes trains), but really liked Johns on the open day so gave it a shot. Chads had a queue so he didn’t bother doing the tour.

My son is very comfortable with his diagnosis, but I recognise they are all very different. From his experience, yours won’t be the only high functioning, normal passing, ASD student if he takes the opportunity of the early arrivals programme. In the chaos of Freshers week no one will notice or care who arrived early. If he doesn’t find any of “his” people during early arrivals he can start again when the rest of the students arrive.

My son has found Johns to be very caring and community driven. He’s an atheist as well and had no problems. You don’t need to rule out Chads or even Cuths - if disability agrees your son needs a single, catered room that is what he will be allocated. A supportive letter from his 6th form’s Senco was all my son needed to be allocated a single en-suite room at Johns.

The only disadvantage of the smaller colleges is they can offer less clubs and societies. Although you have the SU ones as well, I think it is worth checking out what’s available from all the colleges when making your decision.

If I recall rightly, last year there were something like 130 places on the ASD early arrivals programme, and there were 150 applicants so they held a waiting list for places. My advice is to make sure that he gets an appointment with Disability Services as soon as possible, as that for us is what opened doors. My DC is AuDHD and is very happy at St Mary’s.

My daughter is studying Chemistry and while she thought she wanted a Bailey college and was devastated when she was allocated Grey, she loves it, it’s a quick rollout of bed to the Chemistry building! She wanted to share, and had a questionnaire to complete to ensure she was paired with someone compatible. It worked a treat, she loves her room mate and importantly it gave her a guaranteed person to explore with in the first few days. Grey is catered which also helps students meet each other.

Thank you for all your collective wisdom - very helpful!

My DD is at St John’s. She did put it first (she’s an atheist and really the religious rep is just due to the fact the Anglican training college is there too). She has MS but has told no one - obviously the uni knows and she does get some DSA support, though has not found this particularly helpful in her case. She finds people react differently to it and as it doesn’t affect her day to day (other than constant fatigue) she doesn’t feel the need to. She does require a fridge which the college provided. Once allocated a college (and confirmed or reassigned after results day) the ONLY reason they would move a student is if the college can not meet their medical needs; for example if they needed a ground floor or disabled accessible room, which doesn’t sound like a case with your son.
There is so much going on outside the classroom with sport, clubs, societies, the JCR, the Cathedral (my DD volunteers there), guest lectures, the newspaper - your son will thrive!

My kid with ASD was allocated fully catered with en suite at Grey and was very contented. They are self catering in Y2 now. They declined the early intro for ND kids which I think was a good decision for them because the waiting around for the learning to start after Fresher's week dragged a bit. Fresher's is not every kid's dream week. I believe every college pulls together and feels friendly.

Do you think he’d benefit more from his own private space or would sharing give him a push he needs to make friends (either his roommate or elsewhere to avoid his roommate….)

Just go for a shared flat. Im autistic, probably audhd but havent pushed diagnosis except asd. I lived with people for about 16 yrs. Very few I chose. It wasn't always easy at all but it teaches you skills he will need. And there is so much more understanding and technology these days that can help. I wasn't diagnosed til early 30s and no thar doesnt make it mild. More like let down

Pursued nor pushed!!

Interesting, as dd also suffered with eating disorder (documented etc) and therefore preferred non catered.
She/I wrote to them and they categorically said this would not be taken this into consideration when allocating colleges.

This was just one of several reasons she declined their offer...

When was this @Anothersetback ? DD1 applied 3 years ago with neurodiversity (didn't go there) and was told that if she couldn't deal with sharing a room then best not to apply to colleges that had alot of shared accommodation! So not very helpful basically. Hoping things have changed given @Valleyofthedollymix 's experience (DD2 may apply next year and would have same issues).

I finished Durham 10 years ago but when I applied I basically just wrote in my application that I was an only child and needed my own space to decompress and I wouldn’t manage in a shared room. I was allocated in a single room with no arguments (although I don’t think I asked for a specific college)

Springflowers1, that was for 2024 entry.
Interestingly, The uni she ended up with, was sent a similar email, and they replied they would definitely take this into account

Thanks - so same year as DD1. Maybe they’ve decided to be more helpful since!