My son is fortunate enough to have an offer from Durham University for entry in 2026 and currently he intends to make it his firm choice. He needs to rank colleges and decide on room types. He has ASD (autism) and ADHD diagnoses. He is high functioning and I don't think it is that noticeable and he's not keen drawing attention to this - he would like to fit in and make friends like everyone else and not necessarily with a group of friends who are all neurodiverse! I think he could easily be seen as 'normal' but he is unlikely to be the most confident outgoing life-and-soul-of-the party type. He is therefore not sure what to do about these diagnoses when it comes to college and room preferences! I am therefore really appreciate the views of any Durham University parents or students could help with a bit of insight into life at the colleges please?
DS definitely favours catered colleges over self-catering so plans to rank in that order. I also think that would probably be the best option for him in the first year as shopping for food and cooking will be one less thing to have to get used to, he will be on a busy high-contact-hours (STEM) course and, hopefully, the communal nature of a catered dining room will help foster friendships. However, he and I are a bit unsure whether it is a good or bad idea for him to share a room. Some colleges have lots of shared rooms and I am not sure if it's a good or bad thing for someone who is ASD/ADHD! My gut feeling is he would be better off with his own room as it gives him personal space and somewhere to retreat to. On the other hand, as he is somewhat shy anyway, I wonder if not sharing a room would mean he would need to work harder to make friends and get himself out there, bearing in mind he can be a bit a of a recluse in his own bedroom at home? He isn't sure about this either as he has never had to share a room. I don't think he would be difficult to share with (quiet personality, shows consideration for others) but he may find it somewhat stressful if a room mate is quite different to him and maybe not very considerate to share with? I guess most people would not like that to some extent but it would likely affect him more because of his diagnoses.
He's convinced that, when at University, he intends to be out and about doing things so will make friends in clubs etc, so he may come out of his shell and not be a recluse in his room (I hope so)! However, I am interested to get the views and experiences of Durham parents/students and/or those in other universities with similar diagnosis? He is a bit wary of making too much of a disability diagnosis and potentially getting labelled/marginalised. I don't think he would like it if the disability support team put him in a specialist disabled room, for example.
He seems quite happy to share a bathroom which thankfully reduces the cost - we discussed the pros and cons of ensuites being more expensive and which he would have to clean himself versus the lower rent cost of standard (non ensuite) rooms, sharing shower rooms with a few others but having them cleaned regularly for them!
His diagnoses were many years ago so university living accommodation choices was not something that was considered in his assessments and, hence, we have no advice on this and we are trying to work out what would suit him!
We have been to an open day and looked at some of the colleges but insights from those who have experienced it would help with the choice!
Thank you!