Choosing a university for wellbeing over prestige

[Agamede]

DD is academically able but has been through the wringer in terms of her mental health over the last few years. No one would ever know from meeting her for the first time, but she’s needed a lot of support in college around anxiety, hr autism, sensory challenges etc. She is thriving there, has made great friends and loves it. Feels ‘at home’ and included for the first time (after struggling to fit in at a selective independent school.)

She has offers for economics from Warwick, Exeter, Durham, Bristol and UEA. She’s ambitious and is hoping to go onto health economics or maybe insurance and will probably do a post grad degree. She knows that the first four are great options in terms of prestige but having visited all of them (twice!) she feels that UEA might be a better fit in terms of supporting her wellbeing. She loved how ‘normal’ and inclusive it felt, the campus and its proximity to home for easy weekend visits. We also have close family in Norwich. I loved it too, and think she is probably right (with a tiny niggling, what if…?). She’s has bit of pushback from her college tutors and comments from a couple of friends (not unkind) that’s making her second guess herself.

It would be helpful to hear from anyone whose DC has made that choice (or who has made it themselves) and how it worked out for them. Any thoughts welcome.

I think wherever she goes, the most important thing is she works out what would help her at uni, discuss this with that unis Sen department and ask them what else they do for students in similar postilions. Then discuss with one of her doctors and get them to write a supporting letter for her uni.

My daughters accommodation was important to her for both mental and physical disability reasons and her chosen uni said while she could not ask to be in X accommodation - she could use words which describe her ideal accommodation ie a new building without carpets etc. Her unis Sen department also suggested she apply for a parking permit (she has trouble with walking but not eligible for disabled badge) for campus and a small fridge in her room.

Just seen this response.

Re Warwick - DS's friend spent three years in halls in Warwick with no trouble. He did have to put up with Roots for year 2 (and possibly 3) which is known for being quite loud but he seemed unfazed.

I doubt you can do 3 years in halls in UEA and the others you name.

Halls aren't necessarily the best place though . In a way they can be more isolating (especially in later years) than a decent house shared with nice people.

ETA - marching just suggested it is possible at UEA and has superior knowledge!

I know of someone (who is now 28 so a few years ago). Autistic with a long history of mental health issues.
I was told the support at Warwick was excellent. I don’t have any more details though.

It's essentially the same decision as the super elective school versus college, at tertiary level. She knows where she feels at home and where she wants to go, she's just needing permission to accept it.

If she has a happy, safe and rewarding time at undergraduate, then maybe she can look to do a year somewhere else for her postgraduate, choosing then based on the best course. That gives you the best of both worlds.

Good luck to her and well done to you getting her to this point, it sounds like it's been a tough few years.

DN is ND. They were advised in Sixth Form to look at De Montfort Uni as they have a reputation for being really good with looking after students with ASD. So far this has been true.

She seems to have very clear ambitions. Is there any way she can talk to anybody already in this kindof work and get an honest feel for how 'snobby' they are about where their graduates get their degree. If it's more of a 'who you know not what you know' situation she may be better at one of the more prestigious unis. Similarly could she talk more to some of the existing students/graduates and get a feel for how they found the pastoral care. It's very difficult to guage exactly what they're like just from visits.

I will say I have studied at both Nottingham and Sheffield university and had educational and emotional difficulties at various points. Both were very efficient at providing support and saw me through the challenges. No complaints.

I think it is dangerous to base decsions on other peoples' anecdotal views. Warwick do offer on site accommodation for all 3 years with medical evidence and have good student support. My DC 1 did not use these but had friends who did and it worked well. My other DC with autism, ADHD, TS etc and a wheelchair user nearly didn't choose the uni she is at as there were terrible reveiws about the university support with one person allegedly taking then to court at the time who siad they had fees refunded. The support my DC 2 has had has been fantastic. From my limited experience and again sorry anecdotal, it is far more about how the young person engages with the support, and for us I was given permission to speak on their behalf, so initially was quite involved, than the institition itself. There have been some hurdles with the support but generally is has been great.

My daughter's psychiatrist advised not applying to Bristol because of its reputation for poor MH support. No idea what he was basing that on, but she did not apply there.

The only university I know anything about on your list, and info is 7 years out of date is Warwick, their mental health provision wasn’t good, i personally know 4 youngsters who dropped out due to insufficient interventions, also big drug issues which one person got caught up in, he’s ok now, clean, but really bad crowd of ex boarding school students he got in with, very druggy. As I say out of date knowledge but pre pandemic wasn’t good.

Absolutely NOT Durham.
UEA - definitely!

Just to confirm - you can do 3 years in uni halls at UEA if you want.
However, there is a lot of private accommodation very near to campus, relatively cheap compared to many locations. Mostly 4 bed.

I have to argue against the view that Norwich is dull! It is small, but is a lovely historic city with good shopping, pubs and restaurants. Lots to do with cinemas, museums, good theatre that has many touring shows and several locations for decent gigs - including campus. My daughter is from London and hasn't found Norwich dull at all!

@Agamede @TeenLifeMum It’s really good to hear what you both say about Reading, my year 13 ds (ND & MH issues) really seems to like Reading the most (they got a really good feeling, when going to the open day and offer holder day) and I think it is likely to be their firm choice. I think the fact that it is a campus, and very green, and very close to the town, and with very good (easy, and quite quick) transport links to home, makes it a really good fit for him. It was also very sunny on the open day, which will prob also have given him a good feeling about it!

I also like the fact that Reading gives contextual offers for ND (as do Royal Holloway, and Brunel, I think) and Reading has a ‘firm choice guarantee’, meaning that if you firm it, then even if you don’t quite make the grades then they will honour your place. I think both of these things are really valuable for ND students - anxiety is a massive issue (which for my dc can completely erode their ability to focus and process), so having to meet a lower offer (to get to uni) has I think reduced the levels of stress / anxiety that my dc is currently facing over the upcoming exams, meaning that he has more chance of actually performing well, and avoiding having all of the wheels fall off during the exam period.

While Reading is perhaps not so highly ranked in terms of the specific course (and it is not a traditional subject), I think this may be of secondary importance as to how ds will settle in there, and how close he is to home so that meeting up / visits home are very easily achievable if needed. UEA also looked like a brilliant option (and ds has an offer for there, too), but it is around 3 - 4 hours away from home (which just feels too far away, given the MH difficulties of the last 15 months). The half-way point between Reading and home is just 40 mins by public transport, which is easily do-able to meet for lunch or dinner, or an afternoon catch-up - or regular visits home (if necessary).

Re: RG unis, York would have been a potentially achievable uni (re: grades) for my ds for this particular course, and the course itself (and facilities) look amazing, but it would have put him under too much pressure to aim for those grades, and it is a very very very long way away from home - so was not really a viable option. (In my view, when MH issues are in the mix, the potential down-sides / worst case scenarios of choice of uni are not actually about being slightly less attractive to employers, or possibly having slightly less earning power / prestige…).

Norwich is a beautiful, creative, friendly city - small enough to negotiate and not overwhelm - and the UEA is incredibly well thought of. As a recruiter, my interest is always piqued when I see a candidate with UEA on their CV. My niece graduated from there a couple of years ago and felt really supported.

My DS chose UEA over more "prestigious" universities about 10 years ago. He felt at home as soon as we went on campus. We were studying a plan of the site on the wall and so many students stopped to ask if we needed help, staff in the canteen were very welcoming and the head of department was so helpful and lovely. None of the others had the same "atmosphere ". Second child chose to follow him there after looking at other universities too. They both had great experiences in a friendly, safe and beautiful location. Norwich, itself, was a revelation and I loved visiting there. Both are doing very well in their careers and the course at UEA has been a definite advantage for me medic son.

On results day together after a lot of stress the weeks before the RG uni selected wasn’t going to quite the right choice for our daughter. Her autism means she massively affected by change of plans - this added a complexity - ie she had done a lot of research to plan. So to flip at the last minute caused disruption.
On results day, through clearing she chose and was accepted in a closer university to home and a campus type one.

This worked for her, the right balance and support from the uni and what we could provide. I often wander if she missed out - but her mental health and wellbeing was important - she did still stay in halls and shared housing. Though being close meant any down days or autism burnout she could easily come home.

Graduated 2 years ago with 2:1. Settled into her Grad role well and has been offered a role post grad scheme.

She may have never attended a prestigious uni, but she did what was right for her needs. And has come out the other side.

UEA is a good uni. My friend’s daughter is there and loves it. Mental health is more important than prestige imo. I also think it’s super important that kids actually enjoy university- I didn’t and it’s such a big regret for me still.

Have to chip in to avoid Bristol Uni - there's such a thing as the 'Bristol suicides' , for instance - students topping themselves and the Uni not really too bothered. I went there decades ago - there is just something about the city, so bland, so apathetic - that recent ITV drama Gone seemed to capture it pretty well, actually. It seemed to have no community spirit at all. With that in mind, it doesn't matter what the uni's current policy is re welfare. I do get the feeling It's the sort of place that doesn't change over the decades, why should it? There's a kind of arrogance.

I read recently that Norwich is one of the friendlier places to live. I'd even give Reading a chance based almost irrationally on the one-day visit I made when it was sunny, but neither of these are that high ranking, I guess. I wish I'd gone anywhere other than Bristol, though those that were in the top 5 back then - Oxbridge, Durham, Exeter and Bristol - are cities that I feel are great to visit but not necessarily to live. I was blinded by academic snobbery and paid the price. It's like marrying someone because they're the best looking in town, before you've even figured out if you like each other or what the sex is like etc

Thanks so much, these messages have been really helpful.

TBH, I’m not really sure why she applied to Bristol beyond it being a very good uni. My best friend went there for vet med and raves about it but it was a long time ago and she’s a super confident, sporty person (as is her daughter who is loving medicine there, I think there might be a Bristol ‘type’). She wasn’t keen on Warwick when she visited. Loved Durham and Exeter but she feels now they are too far away (and not quite ‘her’) She wishes she’d also applied to Royal Holloway as that was the other insurance possibility and she loved it. A place might come up in clearing, but UEA is definitely her favourite. It’s great to hear so many positive experiences of UEA.

This is very good advice. Bristol have an appalling reputation when it comes to student mental health and wellbeing support.

Yes, they may well be doing more in response to the number of students who took their own lives. But the fact that it got so bad means that the damage is done.

Another thought on Clearing… look at Surrey. My friend’s son has firmed Surrey and is a big reason is how supportive they wellbeing team have been thus far in the process.

I was also v impressed when I visited with DS.

I also hear a surprising number of good things about Surrey, if I may be forgiven for putting it that way. In other words, many students applying primarily to more competitive programmes apply to Surrey, and some happily choose it on its merits.

Almost certainly based on the fact that at least 11 students at Bristol have taken their own lives in recent years, with many citing a lack of support, and in at least one case (Natasha Abrahart) the university being found legally responsible.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-45624695

OP, as most people have said Norwich is an excellent city for anyone who doesn't want a full-on lights/action/urban experience. UEA is a great, slightly quirky place, just like Norwich.
I would be extremely surprised if Royal Holloway doesn't have something in clearing for your DD. I have followed their clearing for the past 3 years - not just theirs! - and their clearing offer has been extremely wide-ranging and very deep. They are another good choice for something contained, attractive etc. One DC concluded it was just a bit too small for them, but it's horses for courses isn't it.

YANBU OP. We're looking at UEA for ds. I studied in London and while I loved my course, I am really not a London person and I endured it rather than enjoying it.

I want ds to enjoy his university years. He has a good offer from UEA for a highly rated course, it's a small city rather than a vast inescapable one like London. Accommodation is less expensive than London. Norwich has just been voted one of the best places to live in the UK. The Norfolk broads and the coast are within a bus ride so he can get out if he needs to. The university building are lovely and the scale seems better for him.

We're going to have another wander round over Easter weekend to make sure he's happy before we choose that as his first choice.

Another plus point with UEA - they are flexible with grades on results day if you have them as your firm choice. They actually say at their open days/offer holder days that they would rather fill places with students who have picked them as their favourite and have dropped a grade or two, than those that stumble across them in clearing. I'm sure flexibility will vary from course to course, but it is the general approach. It does take the pressure off a bit.