Is it always wrong for parents to contact university on behalf of students?

[stripycats]

Just after some advice as I am sitting on my hands and it is becoming difficult. I also don't want to go into too much detail, but if a student has a bit of an issue with the university (not related to grades/marks awarded, discipline or attendance) and struggle to get a resolution themselves, with emails not being replied to, when, if ever would you get involved. There is a financial element to this dispute, which means it does affect me directly. Would it be wrong for me to get involved?

That would be covered by Just because you can say it better? No.

I don’t think you really read what they’d written.

I stepped in before to do with finance and accommodation as, quite frankly, I was paying for it all so wanted assurances. Was all fine and got the issue resolved. Our family act as a team and we play to our strengths.

student has a bit of an issue with the university ... and struggle to get a resolution themselves, with emails not being replied to
What would you do in this situation? Teach your DC to do that.
The answer is that you would find out the complaints procedure, find out how to escalate the concern.

What is the issue, and dont say it's 'outing' when there are 3 million students in the UK

This is good advice, if DD isn't at risk of harm, she should manage it herself. My mum was extremely hands off when I went to university and I had a roommate whose mum swept in a few times (when her loan was paid late, when our LL tried to retain the deposit). Latter was awkward as it was me aged 20 negotiating alongside a loud 40 something yr old woman. Unsurprisingly I became very good at looking after my own money and affairs, roommate less so and parents bailed her out repeatedly up to graduation.

Depending on the university - and what the problem is - it's quite likely that a lot of relevant staff were off before/over/after Christmas and are now dealing with semester B registration. And/or the relevant department(s) are woefully understaffed and trying to cope despite a hiring freeze.

That's not to say that it's ok it's dragged on for a long time but it is sadly not uncommon. I also work at a university and admin departments are prime targets for redundancies right now.

But I have to say that while the university doesn't seem particularly bothered about pursuing this with any enthusiasm, from what you're saying neither is your child. You don't have any influence over the uni but presumably you do over your child so if I were in your shoes I'd be focusing my efforts in that direction.

No way would I do this and I would no expect Uni to engage with you

Can you not coach your child through it? So that they do it themselves with your input?

I acted as dd2's research assistant when she had a dispute with the housing provider in 2021. They were trying to claim that she and her flatmates har "broken" a fridge by overfilling it when they complained about it causing flooding and the housing company wanted them to replace it. Remembering the fridge was an ancient, huge thing I asked her to text me the make/model and discovered the last ones were produced in 1992 - so minimally almost 30 years!

So I told her to ask them about this and their appliance depreciation policies.... suddenly there was no problem. Although they didn't get a new one but the repair guy fixed it.

University lecturer here. I get emails from parents every month or so, increased a lot since COVID. When I get one I store a copy of the email on the student database in case important in the future and we will always email and call the student to check in. Standard GDPR conversation of a person claiming to be a relative of yours has contacted etc etc. The student then has the choice of whether to decline any action, consent to a meeting with their parent or more often than not, initiate sorting the issue. We then ask the student to tell the person contacting us what is happening if they want. I have never had a parent contact for a trivial reason and often it is because there is something significant that needs action. I would hope in this day and age a university would be supportive and find an approach that works. Yes university students are legally adults, but even students on my healthcare courses aren't quite prepared for advocating and asking for things from staff, however justified.

You haven’t actually explained anywhere what the issue is, or what you think you’d bring to the situation that your child can’t.

Unless it’s that you think a parent gets taken more seriously than a student? In which case you may want to reframe it a remember that you’re actually suggesting that a third party gets better engagement than a customer does. Which is rarely the case.

Yes, I have been coaching them and all emails sent so far have been written largely by me and sent by the student, well, not the initial one, but once it became clear it was't completely straightforward. I am 100% that no emails have been missed - dc is stressing out about this and always very organised and diligent. I suppose I feel they are being fobbed off and maybe an 'adult' would be taken more seriously? That shouldn't be the case, but some of the responses that have been received are 'snooty,' for want of a better word. Perhaps complaints procedure and escalation is the way to go.

Complaints procedure would be the way to go.

Equally, before she does that, it’s worth checking the relevant agreements and confirming status. That will be needed for the complaint. Eg. If it’s relating to accomodation fees, then pick through the contract on terms.

But their contract is with your dc, not with you.
They don’t have to give you the time of day, never mind sort out an issue your dc is having, on your say so.

But your child is an adult. The university has a contract that that adult. I’m also an academic, and I can assure you that getting an email from a student’s parent isn’t going to have the magic effect you seem to think. It would be like your friend emailing your line manager because they think they’ve got more authority than you.

It really would help to have more of a clue about the issue at hand OP. Is it about payments of some sort to the university, is it about passing failing or resitting modules, is it suspending study, is it accommodation related?

Honestly the best thing to do would be for your child to escalate this to whoever is in charge of whatever department the issue is with. The complaints procedure isn’t likely to be able to resolve a finance issue (or at least it couldn’t where I work).

Yes

When DS had problems with his university, he wasn't sure how to respond to them, he was still young with not much life experience, so asked us to help; which we did, we were better able to format emails in a more business like way, which they seemed to take more notice of.

We also were able to construct an email for him, which essentially was threatening legal action.

So although we didn't send them ourselves, we drafted them for him to send.

Eventually it all got resolved in his favour.

I agree about 95% with the general sense above that it is best for DC to (be seen to ) take the lead in dealing with the university. For anything academic or personal, staff will not engage with parents, absent an emergency, without DC’s written permission anyway.

My small variance is based on anecdata concerning persistent problems with university residential services and Student Finance. I’ve known very capable students who simply seem to have been taken advantage of. Parental involvement solved the problems. Whether the parents invoked the family lineage, threatened legal action, etc, I do not know.

But I really would try everything else first. It isn’t good for students’ self confidence or personal development to need their parents in this way.

Yes parents at universities now can arrange appointments in behalf of their child if they’re paying.

They really can’t, you know, unless the child has specifically granted permission, and it’s a welfare-related situation.

Before you escalate anything, I would consider waiting until the start of term. There has been the Christmas and New Year period, then January is assessment period, most academics will be buried under heavy marking and most administrators will be setting up systems for the start of the new term.

My advice would be to wait until term starts, then have your DC email whoever is directly involved (tutor, admin team, student support) and include the head of department in a CC, with the problem set out clearly and request a meeting to get the matter resolved. Mention that you will take advice from the Office of Students if this can't be resolved internally. If a meeting is set up, there is no harm in you accompanying your child to offer support but they should do the talking.

I hope this helps.

Yes!!

How long have they been waiting for a reply? Admin departments often declare their reply times are likely to be a week or whatever. It's best to check, as sending follow up emails can be counterproductive and move the enquiry down the list. I know it's hard not to be impatient, but it's a very busy time of year.

If it's a housing issue, the HoD won't help. Same with finance.
If it's a departmental admin issue the HoD will just get cross for being copied in as he or she already has a disgruntled set of admin staff who have too much to do and too little time to do it in.
It would, as others have said, help us a lot if you would deign to give us a tiny clue as to what this is about.
University staff have a set of regulations to follow so if you are asking for something outside these rules the OfS won't be interested.