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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Uni starters 2025/26 all welcome

576 replies

NCTDN · 07/09/2025 08:54

Following on from a year 13 support thread, thought this might be nice to ease us into their new chapters. We had a lovely one for my older DC so created this to help us navigate everything!

OP posts:
PinkFlloyd · 01/10/2025 02:31

MonkeyTennis34 · 30/09/2025 08:04

@PinkFlloyd
I’m sorry to hear about your DD, sending you a handhold. DS2 is at Liverpool and for most of last week had the bad cold, which I’ve found out is very common and known as Fresher’s Flu.
It felt awful not being there for him and I hadn’t packed any Lemsip, only paracetamol. He’s almost completely better now.
We live 5.5 hours away,
How is your DD now?

Dd said she felt a little better and put me off going. Last night she rang crying, admitting she felt just as awful. I'm going first thing and taking her back to the doctors.
DD is also concerned, having missed two days of lectures. She's doing an integrated Masters in mathematical physics, which as you'd expect isn't the easiest going of degrees.
I wish I'd insisted on going today. I have a life limiting condition and think she didn't want to worry me or put me out. I've reassured her and told her it's far worse feeling useless stuck at home.

BonjourCrisette · 01/10/2025 08:48

Sounds like you are dealing with a lot @PinkFlloyd - I hope you can sort your DD out and make sure she feels better.

unsurewhattodoaboutit · 01/10/2025 09:28

@PinkFlloydtry and encourage her to reach out to her supervisor and they can help support her. They can liaise with module leads if she’s worried about missed work then but lectures should be recorded and teaching materials will be on her virtual learning platform. As a mum I’m also worrying but it’s best to help direct them to the university support if possible.

Holidaytimeyay · 01/10/2025 10:30

@PinkFlloyd so sorry to hear that you have so much to deal with.
My eldest did a Biochem integrated masters and the first year’s marks were not counted towards the degree. I know this varies depending on the uni but tell your DD to try not to worry, it’s very early days, and most lectures will be available online.
My other DC (who has just started uni) had to miss a lecture yesterday due to a hospital appointment. She said that at the first lecture a lot of people were struggling to understand anyway.
My eldest DC (who completed an integrated masters) also struggled massively for those 4 years, did come home a lot and at one point had to be signed off by the drs but still managed a first, there is long time to make up the work.
Are the uni aware of the circumstances so that they can provide additional support and any special adjustments that your DC may need?

TheLivelyViper · 01/10/2025 10:43

unsurewhattodoaboutit · 01/10/2025 09:28

@PinkFlloydtry and encourage her to reach out to her supervisor and they can help support her. They can liaise with module leads if she’s worried about missed work then but lectures should be recorded and teaching materials will be on her virtual learning platform. As a mum I’m also worrying but it’s best to help direct them to the university support if possible.

Yes I agree @PinkFlloyd for seminars she should be emailing her seminar tutor when she cannot attend, asking for the work to catch up etc. Her subject is likely more lectures so she should be emailing lectures if she doesn't understand something. Lectures will be recorded so she can catch up easily. If she needs extended deadlines on reading or quizzes, she should contact the Disability liason officer (they are for temporary issues and long-term ones) or the Disability service directly if she doesn't know who the DLO is, they can then direct her to her department's DLO. Each department will have one themselves who is also an academic, links will be on the websites and introductory emails as well. Then can extend things for her so she has longer to do reading etc which she may need to do for a lecture next week - as she is catching up she can have longer.

Has she signed up to a new GP? If not she needs to do that today herself, the forms are online, you search the GP and then the NHS website link to register comes up. If she hasn't take her to a walk in centre like urgent care - if she has then get her to do the online form. She needs to be taking care of her conditions herself more, if she's going to move out and be an adult. That involves making sure she has a new GP, getting any meds for her heart condition and asthma, if they are getting worse going to the doctors herself, booking an appointment with the online form. She should be able to book an appointment if she's sick and go herself, it is a life skill to navigate appointments, communicate to doctors and health professionals yourself - advocate for yourself, go by yourself even if you are nervous, know all the different meds you are taking, tests you need, former results, NHS app etc. Granted she's just left and you can come, but you won't be able to and probably shouldn't come and every time, so she needs to start manging it herself. Having folders for emails, notifications, going through them etc. Finding things on the website etc.

Eventually you have to pull back and let her manage things, access the university support services if she doesn't know, go to the reception of her department, email her department's enquiries email - they will have shown it to her during intro week, she can check emails and find it as they likely have sent her stuff, then she can start a new email to them.
Or when she's better go to the reception herself, email her academic tutor as well regularly having a good relationship with them is key, they'll do references down the line and can signpost her to places.

I do hope she feels better soon, I'm sure its all a lot, so she'll be glad to see you.

Woollyguru · 02/10/2025 13:38

everychildmatters · 30/09/2025 23:40

Hi to everyone! My DS at Warwick ❤️

Mine too! Doing maths.

everychildmatters · 03/10/2025 10:14

@Woollyguru Hope he's getting on OK? Mine is doing MORSE so with maths too. He went out on the stats pub crawl last night so I imagine he's currently asleep! 😆

Woollyguru · 03/10/2025 10:25

everychildmatters · 03/10/2025 10:14

@Woollyguru Hope he's getting on OK? Mine is doing MORSE so with maths too. He went out on the stats pub crawl last night so I imagine he's currently asleep! 😆

Yes he seems to be! We haven't heard much from him tbh, he's joined the gym, been out drinking, went to Tesco.

MORSE is a brilliant course, DS considered it but was put off by the prospect of essay writing for economics.

MargaretThursday · 03/10/2025 20:35

... he's joined the gym, been out drinking, went to Tesco.

Reasonable description of ds' current life too!

sproutsandparsnips · 03/10/2025 22:08

DS is also joining gym, drinking and going to Tesco!
Also has freshers flu and has come home this weekend to sign some forms.
Missed a lecture this morning as he was feeling ill but assures me they are recorded and he will watch it tomorrow!

BigFatMumma · 04/10/2025 22:34

Anyone else finding the missing is really kicking in now

Millionsofmonkeys · 05/10/2025 00:01

DS has also got freshers' flu 🤧
So have the rest of his flatmates.
Lectures start Monday so hopefully over the worst by then.

unsurewhattodoaboutit · 05/10/2025 03:59

BigFatMumma · 04/10/2025 22:34

Anyone else finding the missing is really kicking in now

Yes I’m really missing her this weekend. She’s having a ball though so that’s great.

HippyChickMama · 05/10/2025 08:39

BigFatMumma · 04/10/2025 22:34

Anyone else finding the missing is really kicking in now

Yes, although, we are only 40 minutes away so we’re going to spend the day with him on Saturday, there’s an open day on so we’re taking him out for the day. He was then planning on coming home for a weekend 3 weeks later to attend a gig that’s closer to home, but he’s just had a letter through for a hospital appointment for a scan for the weekend after next. It would be almost impossible for him to get there on time by public transport from uni so he’ll be coming home overnight for that too!

Changed18 · 05/10/2025 12:17

DS seems to be doing well. Think it's two weeks today since I dropped him. He and his flat went out together this week, which was good to hear. I was also pleased to hear he'd cooked himself fish with rice one day this week - sounded adventurous! We haven't actually spoken since I dropped him – it's all via messaging, but we've all heard from him individually, and together via the family chat.

He's definitely more communicative than I was at uni. I called home about once every three weeks and it didn't occur to me my family would want to hear from me any more often - even when there was a major incident near my uni and they were worried about me.

Hope all DC are now starting to settle in...

ilovebagpuss · 05/10/2025 16:00

One week since dropping DD at Lancaster and I didn't cry last week but today I shed a few tears when I got up. I miss her and it's just been a long week. Work is busy as well and I don't feel like I have had any time to get to grips with it.
She is much happier though so that cheers me.
It sounds silly but I lost my mum a few years ago and it's making me think about her more too and reminding me that I'm ageing. I managed a quick walk with a friend who's DD has also just gone so that was nice to chat about it.
Hope everyone who is feeling sad has someone to talk to.

Ineedcoffeenow · 05/10/2025 16:06

ilovebagpuss · 05/10/2025 16:00

One week since dropping DD at Lancaster and I didn't cry last week but today I shed a few tears when I got up. I miss her and it's just been a long week. Work is busy as well and I don't feel like I have had any time to get to grips with it.
She is much happier though so that cheers me.
It sounds silly but I lost my mum a few years ago and it's making me think about her more too and reminding me that I'm ageing. I managed a quick walk with a friend who's DD has also just gone so that was nice to chat about it.
Hope everyone who is feeling sad has someone to talk to.

I have felt very similar. It’s making me think of my late mum and how she must have felt when dropping me off at uni. Those were the days of writing letters and queuing up to use the pay phone so she didn’t hear from me much. I feel like we’ve all moved up a generation.

PennywisePoundFoolish · 05/10/2025 18:40

DS2 still hasn't socialised at all. He's attending most of the lectures in person and says he's really enjoying the course. He did lock himself out which incurs a £50 call-out fee😬
He's decided he'll get the train home at half-term which makes it a lot easier for me. FIL is going to take him back as I'm working that weekend and he's taking a bike back.

He seems happy but the lack of social interactions is worrying me. He won't entertain joining any groups and his accommodation is quite a way from the campus. We talk every day, and he appears happy but I'd just really hoped he'd make a friend

AliMonkey · 05/10/2025 21:14

PennywisePoundFoolish · 05/10/2025 18:40

DS2 still hasn't socialised at all. He's attending most of the lectures in person and says he's really enjoying the course. He did lock himself out which incurs a £50 call-out fee😬
He's decided he'll get the train home at half-term which makes it a lot easier for me. FIL is going to take him back as I'm working that weekend and he's taking a bike back.

He seems happy but the lack of social interactions is worrying me. He won't entertain joining any groups and his accommodation is quite a way from the campus. We talk every day, and he appears happy but I'd just really hoped he'd make a friend

I feel your pain! Just one friend would make all the difference. DS not socialised for nearly two weeks - he did go out with school friend at same uni at start of first week but found the large group of his friend’s new friends too overwhelming and has spent 99% of his time since in his room. Attended almost no lectures either (and then not surprisingly found that people on his course “all seem to know each other”). But they have to get out there to make any friends. I’m just telling myself that many of the early friendships won’t last and that DSs like ours will start slow but then make lasting friendships.

BigFatMumma · 05/10/2025 22:28

Are you all happy with the oevel of contact you've had? I've been happily surprised with how much contact we've had so far

unsurewhattodoaboutit · 06/10/2025 03:16

We had quite a lot of contact in the first two weeks, that has now diminished as she has become more settled. I just get the odd pic, which is to be expected I think. Her course starts this week and I’m expecting a message or two when she’s stressed.

PinkFlloyd · 06/10/2025 08:11

Thank you everyone. I did go through and took DD back for more antibiotics and she is beginning to improve. She had done everything suggested by contacting tutors, getting lecture videos and notes from other students.
I think I was more concerned because I know she wouldn't want to worry me. It's difficult with her asthma and heart condition not to jump in.
DD is very independent. She travelled through Europe on her own in the Summer. We're close and she does message or phone every day. She isn't homesick (although she does miss the dogs). I wanted to make sure she was getting medical help. We never let her CHD hold her back growing up, but that doesn't mean it's not a concern. It's all a balance. I'm still glad I went.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 06/10/2025 20:29

@PinkFlloyd glad things are improving for your DD health wise. Sorry to hear about the young people who are struggling. It really is a lot isn't it - moving house, relocating to a different part of the country, having to take on new responsibilities, plus getting to grips with academic demands. I think some level of difficulty in managing all of those adjustaments is probably pretty common, although that doesn't make it easier.

I dropped DC1 off today. Her accommodation is really nice - the room is lots bigger than her one at home. However there were no signs of any other young people around in her building when we left her, so I have to cross my fingers that she'll have started to meet people at the afternoon meeting and the welcome dinner tonight. She's not the most communicative, so I don't think we'll hear much from her whether it's going well or badly.

jamimmi · 06/10/2025 21:46

Dd come down with the dreaded freshers flu too. It seems it seems to have taken out the while town house in Lancaster . Next door apparently have CoVid. She missed netball trials tonight ( never played at school) but is having a.ball and needs to stop partying as much! Very little contact untill.the fridge.was switched off by accident. @Millionsofmonkeys my older one who went to ljmu was also a buy jealous.of the freshers set up at lancaster! I hope they all settle soon. Just waiting for the wobble. We go on holiday on Friday so hopefully not while we are away.

ilovebagpuss · 08/10/2025 08:54

Morning hope everyone's YP is doing OK and coping with dreaded rounds of freshers flu. I think my DD had a cold on board as she got there so maybe that has warded off the flu!
After the early wobble she seems to have settled ok this week and is bombing up and down campus to her different lectures and says she "loves" the library.
Not sure if she has done much socialising yet this week. I am missing her but messages of do you need a call or is all ok are met with "all ok" so I am trying not to be fussy.
It's a strange few weeks for sure.