To want DC to take a GAP year

[Marblediamond]

I am concern on how DC is going to cope with university. They want to study a demanding degree in a demanding university. They sleep a lot on the holidays and weekends; around 12 hours; they are responsible and predicted A and A stars, work one day a week; but they seem lacking in energy and discipline, probably lacking exercise too.

They used to be more active and creative but it seems school and hormones have suck up the energy. I think it will be better to take a year off to recover from school, learn to drive, get some work experience, save some money, travel, etc. before starting a demanding degree.

Is this normal? What is your experience?

I would want dc to take a gap year, too. University goes so fast and a year’s preparation would make you value it more.

Also, I see the year before and after as absolute free gifts for travelling. Who raises an eyebrow if they see that on a cv?

Taking a year out feels harder as you get older.

Thanks, I think is better to take the time now; they will have to go straight to work towards the end of their degree or as soon as they finish

One of our DC, who was young for year, took a gap year and it completely transformed them. However, I am not a fan of gap years out of education. If children are lacking in maturity or a bit stressed doing nothing productive won't help them grow up. They need to be in education - art foundations or a language course etc.

I think a gap year is great but when my dc enquired (maths/science based course) some of the uni's don't like it due to the loss of maths skills momentum. It might make an applicant for the top end courses less competitive.

Yep - don’t do it if the course is at all mathematical. Maths skills drop off fast.

As a 45 year old I can confirm that. My mental arithmetic used to be of the type that would win me drinks in bars and are now weaker than my 11 year old son’s.

I think everyone should take a year before going to university, but still do something productive - extra college course or a job. That extra year between 18 and 19 makes all the difference. My dd did this, she was more than ready for Uni by the time she went. There were several on her course (creative course) her age or even older. Interestingly, she said the most immature ones who were always partying/missing classes/just couldn't be bothered to turn up were those straight out of school.

What does your DC want to do?

Also remember there's another free year of education until 19 so utilise it!

Definitely. My ds is currently on a gap year - he's worked full time since the summer and now he's in New Zealand, doing an outwards bounds and theology course! He'll follow that by some time serving in the Pacific Islands. He's matured hugely in the last year and he's completely changed what he was originally planning to do. I think he'll be much more focused when he goes to uni in September and able to juggle daily life, part time work and study.

Dd went straight to uni after sixth form and didn't really make the most of it academically (although she did socially!). She's now in her third year and trying to make up for her rather average year 2 marks, to try and ensure she gets a 2:1. She's pretty stressed. I think a gap year would have done her a lot of good, but she wasn't keen because we were relocating at the same time, unfortunately, so she'd have no friends around.

Not a gap year as in a year in a min wage job and loafing around.

A one year college course or a genuinely useful internship or volunteering travel (camp America, digging wells, etc) would help them to grow.

Really it is up to DC unless you are going to refuse to fund uni next year. Maybe they will come alive in a new environment.

@crazycrofter can you share some more details on what your DS is doing?

My DS went straight to uni, but in Ireland where courses are 4 years. His first year wasn’t great (for various reasons) but he’s now much more settled in second year. A gap year would only have worked for him if it was something really specific to his interests, and related to his area of study - anything else would have made him lose motivation, (ADHD) and with doing a 4 year degree, a gap year would have prolonged the studying for him which I don’t think would have worked. I can see him doing something post graduation before starting work though. He’s hoping to work in a faith-based non-profit setting so a theology course tied in with something else could be a good shout.

Thank you all

DC is summer born (June) I think they are matured and responsible but just concerned about lack of energy and discipline; maybe is the age.

They are doing an engineering degree

Could they continue in college for another year; eg doing another A level or math course just to keep it up? They could also learn to drive and gain some work experience in the field they want to study

There is really is nothing to be gained from rushing into university if children aren't completely ready. One of my DC's housemates has burned out (in 2nd year). She is the least mature of the four housemates and hasn't been able to manage her own time and energy, is a people pleaser who takes on too much and then can't live up to her commitments. I can't help thinking that a gap year would have given her some perspective.

I think they want a gap year but won’t take it if they get accepted/offered a place this year as may not be easy to defer

I am not in favour of gap years other than between Masters and PhD.
Too many youth today take a gap year after sixth form and then get entrenched in a job & life and then never get to University. They then regret this in their late 30s when they hit that ceiling for work progression but can’t go then due to children or whatever.

I would be looking into why your DS has fatigue before recommending a gap year for “recovery”.

I do think there is something in that which is very wise. My god-daughter was accepted to a nursing degree (4 offers out of 5 applications) but chose to take a gap year and they wouldn’t let her defer so she had to reapply the following year. She naively thought that because she would be applying with grades in hand (1Astar, 3A) and a relevant gap year experience (volunteering at a medical mission hospital in Uganda) that the offers would roll in - they didn’t. She only got 1 offer out of 5 the following year and it wasn’t for her preferred uni so she waited another year and worked in retail for a year. She then reapplied for a 3rd time and got 3 offers out of 5, and thankfully it included her top two choices so she started in September just past. Having a place offered once doesn’t mean it’ll necessarily be offered again

They could be lacking in energy because they are bored and going off to uni could revitalise them.

Taking a year out is risky - if they do too little they might be even more lacking in energy in a year. If they work hard and earn a lot they might decide they like having money and not want to go.

Edit: I don't think there is anything wrong with a year out but better to go off and do something rather than do not much.

Yes, that is the risk I think

But what do they want to do on a gap year? I agree that gap years can be valuable, but the DC needs to have a tangible plan as to how to spend it. A vague idea that they will get some work experience can easily translate into dossing round the house for months thinking about doing something. They really need to be planning this now.

If they are doing well academically and also managing a part time job, I'm not sure why they would not manage to translate this into doing equally well in a degree course. If they are sleeping a lot, I'd also suggest it's easier to do this around a degree course than a job (my uni DC certainly doesn't get up before lunchtime if she doesn't have an early lecture; which wouldn't be possible with a full time job).

I'd also point out that it's often possible to do a year abroad or a placement year as part of a degree course, or take a year out after completing. It's really not the case that this is their one and only chance to step off the "conveyor belt".

@HOTTOGOisastupidsong he’s gone with a Christian organisation called Soul Edge - you can find details online.

I disagree, unless it is for a maths related degree.
DD worked and volunteered during her gap year. She graduated with a first in a STEM degree from an RG university. Her work experience and degree enabled her to walk into a job straight after graduating.

The job was only ever intended as a stop gap before embarking on a masters. While working she gained another qualification and aced her masters intetview resulting in an offer 48 hours later.

If I ran the UK HE system, I would make a gap year compulsory

It would really sort the sheep from the goats: those who want to go to university above anything else from those who go because it’s elected, or they can’t think of anything else to do.

As a university tutor I really find those in the latter category often are wasting their time and mine.

@Marblediamond re Thanks, I think is better to take the time now; they will have to go straight to work towards the end of their degree or as soon as they finish

Why do you think this ? There are plenty of students who take a gap year or 6 months to go travelling between university and starting their careers.

Many large firms who take graduates will have multiple intakes throughout the year

It's not the only opportunity they will have a take a gap year. They could take one after their degree or work for a few years and then take one.

Surely it's up to your DC to make that decision and I feel you should support whatever decision they make.