To want DC to take a GAP year

[Marblediamond]

I am concern on how DC is going to cope with university. They want to study a demanding degree in a demanding university. They sleep a lot on the holidays and weekends; around 12 hours; they are responsible and predicted A and A stars, work one day a week; but they seem lacking in energy and discipline, probably lacking exercise too.

They used to be more active and creative but it seems school and hormones have suck up the energy. I think it will be better to take a year off to recover from school, learn to drive, get some work experience, save some money, travel, etc. before starting a demanding degree.

Is this normal? What is your experience?

I agree with @LittleBigHead . A gap year- even with a minimum wage job 🙄(slight eye roll at the pp knocking this tbh!) is a great plan. Managing work, colleagues, your own time and money is brilliant prep for uni, and maths heavy courses aside, if you need to be conveyed straight into uni without drawing breath because otherwise you might lose momentum, then uni is almost certainly not for you. Not aiming that at your question OP, just in general.

My dd had a gap year and it was brilliant. I don’t really understand the insistence of a plan upfront either-it’ll come, not every single thing has to be rigorously scheduled and after a-levels/IB, they need to let off steam and relax. If my dd wanted to go out/go travelling/buy fun stuff, then she needed a job and so she applied herself and got a job. That provided a lot of structure. The rest was worked out along the way, with some changes of heart and plans. She’s now very settled at uni and redid her application with grades in hand which was a lot of easier tbh.

A massive eye roll from me @Bibbetybobbity
DD had a gap year, not a gap yah.

She worked, she volunteered (in the local hospital and in a charity shop), interrailed round Europe and worked at Leeds festival.

I think gap years can be good for some students in some situations (eg general maturing, clarifying next steps, regrouping after a difficult period/set of circumstances) but do not agree they are universally a good thing.

I think there can be risks with kicking 'lifestyle in balance' down the road in favour of a mono-dimensional focus on some immediate goals and/or using gap years as a means of temporarily stepping off what might be perceived as a relentless, decades long, but somehow 'essential' uni/career conveyor belt.

Our approach was to encourage time for hobbies, exercise, paid work, learning to drive etc in Y12 & Y13 and for school work to be fitted into the balance, with skills in time management, prioritising, understanding life is about trade-offs honed early on.

This also helped my DC understand what balance was right for them and what level of post-A level trajectory was sustainable in order to achieve that balance. Their GCSEs and A level results were good but grade dilution, at the margins, was a fully embraced consequence of pursuing a more balanced approach from the outset.

In OP's DC's case, a gap year may not be a credible option if engineering at a top uni is the goal. It might be better to work on incorporating time for creative hobbies and for exercise, even if at the margins at the moment, check study focus and habits are optimised and then perhaps try to line up learning to drive over the long vacation before university. The more fundamental alternative is to reappraise whether a very competitive course at a very competitive uni is a sustainable trajectory.

DD's health issues meant that working was not compatible while studying for A levels. She also needed to regroup as she had been unsuccessful in applying for medicine and didn't like the alternative that she was offered. She wanted more time to look at other options.

A gap year was the right decision for her. She asked admissions tutors if having a gap year would affect her chances of an offer and the answer was no (she did very well in her A levels).

She found it easy to get her head down to work when she started university.

She has taken a couple of "gap years" between undergrad and post grad because she wanted to have a good think about what she wanted to study for a masters. Her work experience in a medical related field meant that she had an offer straight away for her healthcare related masters, which is pretty much guaranteed to lead to employment in that field.

@Marblediamond As there is maths in what is presumably a 4 year uni MEng degree, I would crack on with it. Otherwise maths can go rusty.

Lots of teens sleep a lot! Fairly standard. The only gap year I would suggest is working in a related job. Otherwise what’s the point? My DD did a 4 year degree and is an August birthday. They just need to press on if they actually want a job post degree.

Of course there’s benefit to a gap year which isn’t working in a related field @TizerorFizz . Would you really rather someone rush into pursuing a degree in a subject they’re not sure about, rather than wait until they’re clearer about future plans? That could be disastrous financially, as they only have one lot of student finance. I know there’s usually an extra year allowed for students to change their mind, but it’s still a huge waste of money,

Maybe the OP’s son isn’t in this position at the moment - but he might well have a re-think after some time away from the studying treadmill. Life isn’t a race, and starting uni one or two years after your peers isn’t going to stop you getting a decent job later.

@crazycrofter For engineering, doing something completely different prior to a 4 year MEng with a hard maths content is not advised. It’s that simple. It’s often not recommended for maths either. For other non maths courses, go for it. The thread is prior to Engineering for this DS. Not gap years in general.