Current Oxbridge students - continued again...!

[Panicmode1]

Think the other thread is full....!

Sorry above was for @Englitter

“But if your dc thinks RP isn’t for them then probably Oxford isn’t for them either”
Can you clarify this? I have heard from other Oxford alumnae that your college massively impacts your time there - which is why I asked.

I will dm you later

@Englitter it says private messaging isn’t working at the moment so I can’t DM you. So I’m not going to say as much as I would have said in a private message but suffice to say I know a LOT about RP and Oxford in general. I’ve seen replies to you on the other thread as well and what everyone is saying to you here and there is correct.

Furst of all, a decent proportion of students at Oxford end up at a college they didn’t apply for – this is becoming more of a thing every year with far more pooling at departmental level.

You may have heard your college makes all the difference, but I agree with the person who said your college doesn’t impact your experience as much as you think, unless you choose it to be so. You can be one of these people who sits in the college bar and never leaves for the whole three years or you can go out and socialise with anyone from any other college and have friends all over the place, which is what I did (didn’t like my college which was old, prestigious but also very rugger bugger public school) and so do many many others.

Also been said here, if your subject cohort is very small you are far more likely to go for tutorials at other colleges and indeed share tutorials with students from other colleges and end up being taught right across the university.

Think of your college as your halls of residence – if you got a hall you didn’t want at Durham – which I hear about happening all the time – you’d probably have the same initial reaction and then crack on.

Saying if they don’t want to be at RP then O probably isn’t for them is because - as I already said - everything that Oxford has to offer is available to them if they want to go out and get it. Lots of other colleges are small, lots of other colleges are modern, lots of other colleges which are older and more the type your dc was expecting actually have modern, ugly accommodation off site, which you’re not aware of when you apply but where you end up living in the first and second year (my experience!)

At the end of it all you will have an Oxford degree, which is exactly the same as any O degree and – much as it pains me to say, because I have a DC at one of the other universities you’re mentioning – that will hold far more sway in the jobs market.

Just seen this Entertainer and thank you so much - really helpful and encouraging

Read on; a (slightly) proud parent moment. DS sent us a posed team photo of his C tennis team in their kit. He just about managed to hold back from full beam. I wish them the best of luck in their season's matches.

I don't know about this college specifically (just know it's v central, small, v pretty) but just to reassure you that your DC will probably have tutorials all over. My D1 was at a larger college but was the only person doing her subject in her year. She had tutorials at several other colleges with tute partners from all over. Her diss supervisors were also from other colleges. She also sang in the choirs of other colleges. There are loads of opportunities to get out and meet other people.

Thanks to @Malbecfan and @Juja. The truth is that being in the team this year has given DS a real boost - in well-being, self-confidence and his academic work - by his own and more significantly, his supervisor's assessment.

Summer - a question. Ds is going to be at home, working but as he's going to be wfh 3 days a week he's decided against renting local to the job and will be commuting in.

I really feel I dont want to cook for him. Partly just that he's 21 years old, also dp and I eat different things, also likely on a different schedule, plus he'll hopefully be meeting up with friends and staying over from time to time. I sometimes can't believe that I've ended up back on the grind of cooking having moved in with dp, but at least dp cooks half the week - ds won't.

I'm plannning to keep stuff in the freezer for him but is it reasonable to refuse to cook for him pretty much all summer? Or am I unusually lazy?

DS is worried that his college cohort and teaching at C is not as good as in some other colleges. One of his supervisors has been unwell and supervisions elsewhere have, he thinks, opened his eyes to the fact that other college students' are "much better than us". Won't say anything to him but curious if anyone else has had this kind of comment from their DC at C? Y1 Law if relevant.

Everyone’s situation is different @PermanentTemporary. Here there are still younger children at home so I’m cooking anyway. The rule here is that we eat together at the same time and if you are going to be out or need to eat at a different time, you cook for yourself. I’ve got a DC who likes cooking and a couple who don’t so their eagerness to cook for themselves is variable. One of them would probably survive on pasta and pesto if I didn’t cook. I would personally find it more annoying to have someone cooking separately every day. Plus it’s nice to have some time to catch up over a meal rather than hardly seeing the DC. And I’d find it a bit miserable if my DC was eating alone every day.

@OnedayIwillgetarest I think there’s a huge variation in quality of teaching and also workload between colleges. That’s just a feature of the college system. I haven’t heard any such comments about cohort but mine haven’t had too much teaching outside their own colleges.

Is the college one of the less subscribed to colleges OP? Two of my DC read Law.

I'm so pleased to hear this - must be lovely to watch your DS grown in confidence. My DD certainly flourishes through her rowing at O both at Uni level and as college captain.

We had DS home whilst he was doing his internship last summer - the rules were that as usual, we eat as a family (still have 2 school aged DCs at home) but that if he was out or had different plans, he had to give us a bit of notice and generally that worked well. He does cook, and cook fairly well though so he did help out at least one night a week. (The making toast at 11pm and then not clearing up the crumbs afterwards drove me batty though!)

So, our situation was a bit different to yours @PermanentTemporary . I think that it's not unreasonable to expect him to cook for himself if he's been doing so and you don't have other DCs at home for whom you are still cooking.

Joining the A303 club, I lived that way.

Me too.

A much smaller club than the M40 club, for Oxford at least :)

Friends of the rural A1017/ A1307 over here in the East

Do they have an official photographer at the annual college balls ? My DC doesn't know

That makes sense re quality @AlsoAnon but as he has four different supervisors, my assumption was that it would even out. Workload seems very high.

@AsTearsGoBy no one of the most subscribed colleges. He is definitely making the most of the Law Soc opportunities, mooting etc outside of supervisions. I think the rest of his cohort in college are all a bit less willing to engage in debate which he loves. Going to supervisions in other colleges he perhaps feels they are being a bit more challenged and pushed - he said something like "they are just a lot better than us".

@OnedayIwillgetarest mine don’t study Law but it’s known to be a subject with a heavy workload — as are many others alas.
Possibly a bit of “grass is greener” going on with your DC? However I know that one Oxbridge mother on here with DC at both O and C was very struck by the difference in culture, atmosphere and engagement between the two different colleges.

Thanks for the reply. Teaching will vary enormously as another poster has already said. Your DS could possibly scout around and see which tutors in other colleges have reputations for being excellent teachers and select future options based on that? Once he moves beyond his current supervision groups he might find his peer group is slightly more sparky.

Anyone else following Torpids bumps races at O? It's a real shame lots of crews can't race due to the weather conditions. DC2 has had a great week so far with lots of over bumps - fingers crossed for this afternoon...

Fingers crossed for your DC @Juja ! I'm sad DS isn't rowing this year - no Lent or May Bumps for us to watch/listen to....but he's enjoying not being in a boat and is doing lots of running/cycling/swimming instead.

Thanks @Panicmode1 - rowing can rather dominate life can't it... sounds as though your DS is gearing up for a triathlon..

Sadly we are not watching this year but will go down for eights in the summer