Exam anxiety

[angstypant]

I hear it is not uncommon but please will people tell me their experience of having dc with severe exam anxiety

I have a 17 year old about to start her final year at school. Her exam anxiety has gone into hyperdrive. She can barely breathe let alone think. She has raging panic attacks. Obviously this means she performs poorly.

This is a highly intelligent young person. She is very high performing during the year. It's literally just exams. But this exams are crucial to get to the next stages of a uni future.

What if anything can be done?

She's currently on anti anxiety medication and sees a therapist. She's tried beta blockers but they made her feel sick.

I'm so stressed with the countdown to a-levels. She's so so academically bright. She just struggles to sit the exams so the adage 'uni is. It right for everyone' seems harsh. In particular at uni, many courses are part exam part assessment. She could get through exams well enough to pass them and her coursework would likely always be of a very high standard.

But but but. Please can anyone give me advice

How did GCSEs go?
Can she verbalise how she feels?
A decent therapist should be able to help.

Is she perchance a perfectionist?

She underperformed but didn't do terribly. 9,8s, 7s and a 6

She is well able to verbalise the issue. She says she benefits from the therapy but in the moment at the exam she is right back to panic

@TeenToTwenties
I'm not sure if she's a perfectionist. She is terrified of disappointing us/her teachers even though we tell her that isn't the case

But this exams are crucial to get to the next stages of a uni future.

Would it help her to research the non-exam options for accessing University - such as doing an Access course?

I suggest this not as an alternative to doing the A-Levels - avoidance isn't always the best means to deal with anxiety - but so that she can go into the exams thinking "it will be a pain if I do badly but it will just delay my ambitions not kill them".

Would separate invigilation help?

I'll chat with her about that. I don't know anything about access courses. I'll Google. Thank you

She is already in a smaller room as she uses a keyboard. Not a pen.

She feels that you will be disappointed.

And the fact you say she underperformed st gcse with very good grades should tell you something.

Some A levels have coursework, you could try that - PE and Geography spring to mind

@Milsonophonia
She is at an independent school where the norm is 7,8,9 with mostly 8s & 9s and regardless of how much we tell her that her grades are fine, she is aware she has underperformed relative to her ability.

She is well aware that she panics and can't think so she feels without the anxiety she would have done better.

It may be perfectionism. I do know that anxiety is rife in my family and doctors say there is a huge genetic component. But school was not as pressured in my day and there weren't so many social pressures either. There also wasn't this high grade demand to get into a decent uni.

The subjects she likes are all exams. And she has to do what she enjoys.

Does anyone have any advice on what worked for them or their dc to help them?

What subject is she thinking of at Uni. Some courses, particularly humanities, are nearly 100% non exam now. The assessment/coursework load is quite high to compensate but she may be ok with that. She'd still have to get over the A level hurdle but may help knowing there would be less exam pressure in the future

Have you tried a hypnotist? They can be very effective for exam anxiety

Thank you. I shall look into this

She enjoys economics the most and would like to study this or a related subject at uni. Her teachers say she has an excellent mind for economics. They are very supportive and know her potential is being affected by the anxiety. Unfortunately the grade requirements are very high for economics.

She needs to practice her breathing / calming techniques outside of exams so they are embedded when exams roll around.

Thank you. This makes good sense

DD finds slow cross body tapping helpful, also the 54321 technique.
(Also doing an animal alphabet: Aardvark, Beaver, Capybara ... but that is possibly less general.)

Will the school apply for extra time and/or rest breaks for her? Rest breaks are designed for pupils like this, they have 5/10 minutes break during exams to decompress before the panic takes over completely.

She underperformed but didn't do terribly. 9,8s, 7s and a 6

...one of mine is at Oxford with those grades. In the general scheme of things, they are very good grades indeed.

We are slightly going off on a tangent here. No one told her that her GCSEs were not fine but they are below what she was expected to get and lower than her ability. Because she was having panic attacks during the exams. She did incredibly well considering she was having panic attacks. But she knows the panic caused her to underperform relative to her^^ potential.
She has consistently underperformed in tests relative to her^^ potential and expected results because her anxiety causes her to seize up and panic. Sometimes she says she can't even remember her name let alone recall facts she is very well knowledgeable on.

I'm asking other people who have had dc or who themselves suffered in this way, what they did, if things went tits up and they didn't get a-levels that enabled them to go straight to uni, what did they do to get back on track and fulfil their dreams of uni?

Hi, OP -

I feel badly for your DD. I wish I had an idea for her, but I am really writing to say that I think it is important to get this resolved before university, if possible - especially if DD will be interested in a degree programme that assesses primarily via exams.

Able candidates may find it useful to think of an exam as a tool, useful for helping them to reach the next rung on the ladder, rather than an obstacle. The hypnosis and (further) counselling both sound useful to me. Are there other drugs that might help?

As DD is very able, she might scrape good enough A levels for admission to a degree programme she would like without resolving this problem. My concern is that it would then spiral at university - I have seen this with a couple of my personal tutees and also through sitting on Mitigating Circumstances panels. It is much more difficult to resolve later, the Mit Circs aspects can be murky, there are implications for finances and degree classifications, etc.

I apologise in that I don’t mean to be scaring you. But your DD deserves to thrive at university, and I think she needs to solve this first in order to do that.

If it requires a gap year, that’s nothing - loads of students have them. Some are worried about ‘getting behind’ their high school friends, but a significant proportion of those friends will need extra time at uni themselves, and in any case this isn’t much of a reason. Getting her life right should be DD’s focus.

Best wishes to her

PS This may sound naive but is DD studying effectively and practising exams enough? Does she have good ‘exam skills’? There are workshops and there is coaching for that

So - in a similar boat here (even Economics is too)

I think we need to take a holistic approach - so focus on wellbeing and calm throughout the year so that everything is more settled.

I'd also look at yoga / meditation to see if they work over a few weeks

I find humour helps to distract a panic attack (sometimes helps) so maybe the school can help her with that

I'd also have a concrete plan B - so if her anxiety takes over would a Uni consider her with lower grades / ill health etc BUT I know
Economics degrees are very exam heavy so it's something we do need to fix now as it will be more pressure.

I'm also encouraging mine to have a gratitude journal. To start to be grateful for the small things or challenges succeeded to help reframe her feelings of failure - building up confidence

Again no idea if it will work -
Also considering a punch bag type thing on the wall for her to wack - but I'd also look at her environment - if her school is actually supportive or adding to her pressure - would a more relaxed main stream sixth form be better for her - do they know how to handle her needs etc?

Sadly the system we have to demonstrate academic excellence isn’t suited to people who struggle in exams. :(

I think you are doing all you can but if exams are a struggle then uni may just not be for her. Or at least not til she’s older and has different coping strategies that may help

Thank you. We absolutely (and she) want a gap year for sure. It may be two if a-levels don't work out. Perhaps a year out to deal with her mental health and a year to do an access course.

I guess my thoughts about coping at uni are based on her lack of issues with term time work. She is fine doing her term work/essays/projects etc. it's just exams.

At uni the exams are in some ways less threatening as you can get through with lower exam passes 40% for example if your coursework is of a high standard.

A-levels require you to get minimum As maybe a B. Or ABB so there is less wiggle room

You are right, she does fret about being out of sync with her peers but I think we can manage that. Once at uni there are so many others that are not 18/19.

She had another panic this morning. We breathed through it and talked. I am very low.