Exam anxiety

[angstypant]

I hear it is not uncommon but please will people tell me their experience of having dc with severe exam anxiety

I have a 17 year old about to start her final year at school. Her exam anxiety has gone into hyperdrive. She can barely breathe let alone think. She has raging panic attacks. Obviously this means she performs poorly.

This is a highly intelligent young person. She is very high performing during the year. It's literally just exams. But this exams are crucial to get to the next stages of a uni future.

What if anything can be done?

She's currently on anti anxiety medication and sees a therapist. She's tried beta blockers but they made her feel sick.

I'm so stressed with the countdown to a-levels. She's so so academically bright. She just struggles to sit the exams so the adage 'uni is. It right for everyone' seems harsh. In particular at uni, many courses are part exam part assessment. She could get through exams well enough to pass them and her coursework would likely always be of a very high standard.

But but but. Please can anyone give me advice

The school is doing their best. They have said they would write in their reference about her ability in classroom and that there is a mitigating circumstances section and they would fully use this.

But even with this, if she panics she's not going to get grades anywhere near what would be required even with mitigation

She's definitely going to take time out of education for a bit and we will work to there MH under control but it worries me that once back in education it will all come back as it's only educational tests that trigger her.

So she could be fine on a gap year then fall apart doing an access course or whatever.

I hope you find a good part way for your dc

I totally understand the not wanting a year out when others are heading straight to start university.
Remind her that life is not a race.
There are no prizes for getting to milestones first, no penalties for getting to milestones last.
(apparently Vienna by Billy Joel is very popular with the kids these days (source, Guardian IIRC) and covers this hypothesis...

Rest breaks are something the school can request without evidence and help hugely with exam panic. Extra time will probably need a specialist healthcare professional letter, but you say your DD is getting counselling, so you could probably arrange that.

I think you need to take the focus away from the grades she gets and take it back to her quality of life. Avoidance isn't going to help long term, this is not a disability she can't overcome and will suffer with forever. It's also part of her at this point in time, rather than something unfortunate that has happened to her.

Both you and the school have made her feel disappointed in her very good GCSEs, that will make her more anxious, not less. University is clearly the right choice, longer term, but probably not straight away. I think it's more likely that the school is wrong for her, but a change at this point wouldn't work. You might find the problem doesn't follow her in a different environment. Has she ever sat music exams or anything separate from the school.

Make sure she is getting a self esteem boost separate from academic success, sports, music, part time job etc.

Plan a gap year, so she is on her own path and timeline rather than feeling pressure to match her peers.

Do past papers with her replicating the exam experience - timed, on her own etc. do the same paper more than once, so it isn't the content of the exam but the process she is working on.

Do Duolingo, let her get some bad marks there but see overall upwards progress.

Hi again, OP -

I agree DD should do what she loves. Does she like a quantitative approach to Economics, which would be a BSc programme, or more of a Social Sciences approach including more essay assessments, which would be a BA?

I think the former, which is somewhat more competitive (but perhaps not desperately, I don’t know) is assessed largely on exams. DD could research whether some BA programmes have a greater coursework element.

But the bar for a first class essay mark (70%) at university can be very high. Let’s assume DD would like to aim for a 2.1 degree, because she is very bright and this is a requirement of many large firms, and do the arithmetic.

Suppose a module is assessed half by CW and half by exam, and suppose DD’s target mark is 65%, in line with a comfortable 2.1. If she gets 44% on the exam, she needs a CW mark of X to solve

(.44 x .5) + (X x .5) = .65, or X = .86

A CW mark of 86% is very high indeed. So the exam problem needs to he solved, unless DD can find a programme with an even greater CW component.

I am really wondering if some of this could be about exam technique? A couple of sessions with a good exam coach to explore this might he useful. Then she could decide to really pursue this angle or to drop it

Again, best wishes to you both

PS Also there may be some Joint Hons programmes in Economics with somewhat lower entry requirements. If any of them interest DD, would that take some pressure off?

She is good at maths and enjoys the mathematical elements of maths. She also studies psychology so behavioural economics would also suit her strengths.

I'm talking to her about completely different directions. Sociology, psychology, economics and a second subject etc

Psychology has high grade requirements but there are a few more options there and sociology is easier to get into. The statistical elements of both these subjects interest her

@LadyQuackBeth

Both you and the school have made her feel disappointed in her very good GCSEs, that will make her more anxious, not less

Not at all. Both the school and we have told her that her grades are good and not in any way disappointing or course limiting when she has lamented. She knows what people get and compares herself. It's not us or the school doing this. She's my youngest so I know her grades are fine. It's not like she's my first and I demanded a clutch of 9s.

@LadyQuackBeth

Do past papers with her replicating the exam experience - timed, on her own etc. do the same paper more than once, so it isn't the content of the exam but the process she is working on.

It's already been decided that she will take at least one gap year.
The idea of reusing papers to just get used to timed papers is a good one.

My question really is what the best strategies are to get her through a-levels.
I have asked if she wants to stop altogether but she is adamant not. She likes school. She likes her subjects. It's just the exams.
I've told her she can withdraw and not sit her a-levels. She can revisit in a year or two at a tutorial college or she can do an access course. But at this point she doesn't want to pull the plug she wants to try.

So I'm asking what strategies have people found where within the next 6-8 months she may be able to get a handle of her exam stress.

She takes medication. She has therapy. I have shown her box breathing. I've suggested she start each day with 2 mins of it and periodically throughout the day to make it natural.

What can she do?
Have people turned things around. What have other people experienced.

Someone who is good at, and comfortable with, Maths and Statistics would be a strong Psychology candidate. These are the areas many Social Sciences students struggle with.

There are several E &P Joint Hons programmes. The one at Essex is showing me its low 2024 Clearing standards. The others I saw are AAA or higher. But my sample was small and not representative.

Has she ever actually failed anything?

I only ask because my daughter was the same, anxiety, panic attacks and medicated with sertraline. Until... she failed her driving test. We had a week of doom and gloom followed by (2 months later) stellar exam results with so many fewer issues.

I think that actual failure reassured her that it was ok to not do well. Shit happens and you move on.

@poetryandwine

We couldn't fund and economics and psychology joint degrees. Only philosophy or PPE.

Where would we find them please.

AAA seems fairly typical for both degrees 😥

We are reticent for her to go way way down leagues to very poorly ranked unis and it's questionable if it's worth the money

Failed? She's done very poorly. Not sure if ever fully sat and failed.

Not sure how doing eve worse would solve her exam panic attacks though.

@BeyondMyWits
I mean she's done poorly enough to say, not be able to take a subject for a-levels because the scant high enough. And not being given an offer for a senior school as her entrance exam score was not high enough. So yes they would I suppose constitute failing.

How is letting her know that you are reluctant to let her go to 'poorly ranked unis' going to help her exam anxiety?

It sounds as if she needs a year out now and a chance to regain her sense of perspective so that she can return exams to an appropriate size in her thinking. She’s got everything massively out of proportion at the moment. Take a year off, work on her mental health, step well away from all things educational and then go back to sit year 13 if it seems the right thing to do and she can cope with it.

@Milsonophonia
I am not telling her where to go or what to do but she is well aware of universities and rankings.

In fact I have suggested going to a lower ranked university and then doing a masters degree at a better one if that is inportant to her.

Please stop jumping to conclusions that I am somehow feeding her pressure. We don't need to do that cage does enough to herself.

Hi, OP -

I simply did a casual search on the phrase ‘Economics and Psychology Joint Hons’. This degree is offered at Edinburgh, St Andrews, and IIRC Durham as well as Essex.

Possibly more, because I was not being systematic, but three of those unis are top notch.

To search systematically, you can go to either UCAS or The Complete University Guide online and enter the approximate name of a degree programme you are looking for.

But you’ve said earlier that you’re looking at all kinds of options, such as Psychology and Sociology. PPE is a grand degree in the classical tradition but I would think Economics and Psychology is excellent preparation for Behavioural Economics, marketing, the Civil Service, etc, and certainly as respectable as Sociology. (I am in no way dissing Sociology! I am in STEM and don’t have skin in this game - I am just puzzled by the statement that you couldn’t fund E&P Joint Hons degrees. That is either very old fashioned or a concern about employability. The latter can be resolved through research)

Hi, I'm not sure what happened when I searched E&P. It may be that I discounted the unis listed as Durham, StA etc all have very high requirements and with the issues we are having, we wanted to look at realistic options albeit she is bright enough.

We were looking at good but not unrealistic options. Loughborough, Southampton etc.

But I shall look again.

I really hate our A-level system. We have been through it twice, and whilst my kids did well, I hated every second of it. I think it is the worst exam set anyone ever does because because your marks literally define your future. It defines the town you will be living in for your university studies and everything that goes along with it. It is way too much pressure. I wish our kids could apply with grades in hand.

Anyway, I feel for your child. She definitely needs therapy. And I think the therapy needs to be very specific about what to do when she is in the exam hall.

I wonder if she could go into an exam, and ‘assume’ she will have a panic attack. So she could say almost ‘aim’ to have a panic attack 10 minutes in. So she could say I’m going to do 10 minutes work on the exam and then I’m going to put my pen down and wait for a few minutes and have a panic attack. I will breathe my way through that and then I’m going to do another 20 minutes work and then have another panic attack. I’m just wondering if this paradoxical approach might work. So if she wills herself to have a panic attack and ‘makes time’ for it, she might not even have one.

Maybe that could help? She could do practice exams at home with a similar model and just take breaks after 10 minutes and 20 minutes etc to ‘plan’ for a panic attack and almost accommodate it into the prep. That might sound crazy, but just a thought. It might reduce the ‘power’ of an attack and turn it into something ‘safe’ and predictable.

Interesting idea. I'm not sure that's how PAs work but I get your point of trying to take control.

Our system is brutal. In some other countries your GPA is based on everything you do in the last 4 years of school. Every project, essay, homework, classroom work, presentation, test, worksheets etc.

This is much more representative of real life and real jobs. It enables young people to showcase their abilities in different areas. Ours only showcases the ability to sit exams which frankly isn't really something that is reflective of very much in the work place.

Southampton is a fine uni, but Loughborough might be a particularly good choice for your DD. They have sone of the best Teaching and Learning Research and facilities in the country. In STEM T&L IMO they are the national leader

CBT for exam anxiety and panic attacks could be helpful.

Also doing grounding and breathing exercises when she starts to feels anxious. Aromatherapy oils (in a piece of tissue) can be helpful in grounding her and focusing her mind on something else,

Does she already get extra time for exams or rest breaks?

Yes she gets extra time for dyslexia and rest breaks for panic
But when she panics it's a rolling panic. So she calms herself but 5 mins later it's up again on and on

@poetryandwine she loved Loughborough but it's just about getting her there.
The school think it's a great fit too.

So here we are with her being great at her subjects and loving a uni but panicking during exams. Or before exams so she can't even leave the house. Full blown panic attacks.

And panic attacks mean she can't think at all. She can barely breathe.

😪