Thrills and spills of studying in London

[stoneysongs]

A thread for supporters of DC heading to London unis - was originally going to be UCL which seems very popular this year, but expanded at @Needmoresleep's excellent suggestion.

For chats about moving in, what to take, living in London, whether an Oyster card is worth bothering with, how to do a big shop, where to park at drop off, the dreaded search for 2nd year accommodation etc etc etc

Tagging people I've spotted from the ex Oxbridge thread but all welcome including those with DC currently in London who can share their wisdom and anyone thinking of it for 2025 or beyond

@catmomof3
@lifeturnsonadime
@PotentialUCLmum
@CoffeeMugShot
@space99
@FebruarySmith
@mynameisnotmichaelcaine
@Summertimer

By way of intro I have a DD going to UCL to study BASc Arts and Sciences.

They do. You also don't need to stick to your University. In his first term DS also joined his school friend at the Imperial climbing club (he had discovered that the LSE one at the time was very PG dominated - these things happen) and bumped into someone in the year above at school who was at UCL who invited him to join his seven a side football team. These school contacts died away as DS' LSE friendships deepened, but were useful in the early days.

There is a belief that everyone is busy enjoying the "university experience" from day one. It really isn't true. Slow but steady is probably better. FWIW it took DD a year before she found her tribe at Bristol.

@RockaLock Yes. Sorry. I was just explaining how it’s not changed. Others might read it and have second thoughts. Your DC will find mates and then plan for next year. Or commute?

My DS really loved the London student politics scene

Thsanks, @TizerorFizz . Sorry if I sounded a bit short with you, I'm just a bit sad for DS at the moment.

@RockaLock At least I understand the Acton limitations! ! It is a case of getting into events and activities to meet like minded people via uni. My DDs were not sporty but they liked socialising. So the obvious options are join uni activities or find mates on your course. Early days for both. With a bit of effort, it will improve. So join anything remotely interesting and fingers crossed for you. As a mum we do wanted to be happy but we cannot do it for them.

I did hear from DS that there were a few good parties at the North Acton halls last year. Just wanted to say to everybody it's very early days. It's so hard as we all worry about our DC. Plenty of people take much time before finding where they fit. My DD took really the whole first year to settle (not helped by Covid) but things started to fall in place by the 2nd year. As mentioned above there is so much to do in London and at these unis, people find their fit eventually - no matter how introverted or extroverted you are. My only bit of advice to the DC would be to try different societies - something might click with the people there and it's an opportunity to try something new.

Totally understand how you feel, DD is also quite introverted and I feel she is still on her way of finding, which I believe most are all in the same boat.
They will find their feet eventually, as parents we just have to hold tight and watch them grow.

If it's okay, may I ask what subject your DS is studying?

Hello @Unicornbabe06, my DS is studying physics.

Unfortunately the 2 other boys in his flat seem to be somewhat AWOL (both overseas students and are never around) so although he has chatted to the 3 girls in the flat, he's kind of missing out on not having the boys around to potentially make friends with.

But I am sure it will work out in the end. I keep telling him that plenty of other first years will still be feeling a bit lost and lonely, it's not just him.

My DD1 at another uni shared a strange room with another girl. Her bedroom was accessed through DDs. She hardly saw her. No one did. She socialized with her own friends from China. It’s how it is quite often. It’s early days but no doubt there are other DSs on the floor.

Of course there are other DS on that floor

It still doesn't mean that it's not a shame that he doesn't have male flatmates that are actually around, that would potentially make it easier for a shy person to make some friends!

@RockaLock I was just thinking about how he could meet others on the floor. I know you feel raw but when students live behind closed front doors and bump into each other by the lift, it can be tricky. Some won’t want to mix either. Anyway, I’ll shut up now. Good luck to DS.

Hello @RockaLock, DD hasn't come cross physicist yet, otherwise I was thinking pass names (if any) on which might be a conversation starter if there is an opportunity during lesson period.

I did hear that overseas students tend to stay together (from friends who has older kids or DD's school friend who has older sibling/friends), not sure is this true? But it could be just early days, eg they might pop out together to get to know the area, etc.

Does north acton accom has social space (I would think they do)?
The thought is he doesn't need to start conversation if he really is just too shy, can still pop by and maybe take a book or phone or ipad with him, by showing his face more often, soon or later there will be someone who starts the first step.
Every little bit help even just a baby step.

Thanks @Unicornbabe06. I have suggested all these things to him already, but he knows best...

I did encourage him to put a message on the 1st year physics WhatsApp group saying was anyone in North Acton at a loose end and if so did they want to meet up.

To be fair he did post a message, which surprised me, but he just said "I have nothing to do" and then is surprised that no one has replied 🤦‍♀️

I heartily agree with the "he/she knows best" part - same thing here, teenagers!

From what you wrote, I feel he is trying though, just not the step/speed which you would prefer (of course, as parents, we all hope it will sorted out right away, and if magic wand is available I would be using it myself, so I am on your side).

Lets hold tight together (I am just as anxious as you - I don't even know is this the correct wording, definitely a bit worry and unease), maybe he will surprised you by some update over the weekend or next week.

I'm off to visit DD tomorrow, said her room better be tidy 🤣

I hope you have a lovely time. I've been banned from visiting for at least a month!

I'm finding that pretty hard tbh.

The apron strings have been well and truly cut!

@lifeturnsonadime I was going to wait another 2 weeks but she has asked me to bring some bits up to her like extra hangers 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣 and her loafers. I can't stand London it's way too over stimulating for me so I probably won't go up till next Month after tomorrow.

Ah enjoy. I'm just jealous!

It's precious that she has asked you to go. xx

Handhold needed, son is in A and E. Shower door collapsed, his fingers hurt, his hand is bruised. We are here he is there 😔

@summertimer That is really hard. You know that he's in the best place at the moment, but the pull to be with him must be very strong. If he's communicating with you, then that's good. Sending a hug.

Thanks 🙏

Ah @Summertimer that's really tough. Hope he's seen quickly and all is ok.

Still waiting at the mo 😔

Ow that sounds rough poor chap. Hope he’s on his way home soon

Thanks for the supportive replies. He’s back from A and E and doing some college work. In a way, I’m pleased he making not much of it and saying “I’m fine, too busy to chat” because he’s dealing with it. But I’m also a bag of nerves and so is DH.