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[MirandaWest]

Thought I’d start this thread in case anyone else with a DC who didn’t get an offer from Oxford (or Cambridge in a couple of weeks time) wants to say anything - I feel a bit out of place in the Oxbridge thread now but could be good to have somewhere to talk about how they are and what their plans are now.

I asked DD a bit ago if she’d think of reapplying to Oxford and she said in January she was thinking about it but definitely not. And after being given not the accommodation she wanted at Bristol yesterday I asked if she wanted to defer and she very much wants to go now (and is feeling much better about the accommodation and even said it might be for the best 😊)

Her friend hasn’t got into Cambridge - needed A A A and got three As. Think one at least was very near to an A and maybe she’s put in for a review but will find out on Monday I think. In some ways it seems almost worse to not get in at this stage as ours have at least had time to get used to it.

Its a decade since we were in a similar position, and indeed the same grades.

For us it was straightforward,. DS wanted to go to University. He did not want a gap year and was happy with his offer (LSE). A decade on and he has done just fine, completing a PhD in the US and just starting an academic position in a well regarded UK University. Not getting an offer from Cambridge has not impacted on his path.

One of his peers reapplied. If you have the grades lots will be successful on reapplication. He wasn't, but the gap year allowed to change his insurance choice (UCL rather than Bristol) and a slightly different course. He did not get a Cambridge offer but had a really constructive gap year, started with an added year's maturity overcoming the "what if".

In short, it depends on whether your son is happy taking a gap year, and to the extent he thinks he prefers Oxbridge over where he is due to go.

Looking back the early rejection did DS no harm. There are lots more rejections as you start to apply for internships, further degrees or jobs. It helps then to know that, even if you don't get what you thought you wanted, things do work out.

Would a separate thread for UCL starters be useful? I don't see it mentioned much on here usually, but does seem to be a popular destination this year.

I agree with Need, particularly having seen my 5 and the 20 something stage of job applications and endless rejections even for top Oxbridge people amongst their peer groups. Rejection can be something helpful in life as you learn to pick yourself and make the most of all the many failures all of us will have. I agree on gap years too - depends on the people. We have some relatives who did a gap year, tried again for Oxbridge and got in and in my own case I didn't try, got pretty good A levels so people said take a gap year and try Oxbridge but for me at that age I just did not want a gap year - I was really keen to get on with university life and for me that was the right decision.

UCL is really good and I am sure all those going there will do well. We are in London and that is the only reason my children did not apply to universities there as they wanted a change.

Thank you so much for sharing that and it's hugely reassuring to hear. I thought they'd got over the rejection and were happy with the RG but apparently not. Feels like we're going over the loss all over again. I just want them to move onwards and upwards and feel good about it! Thanks again so much.

One thought. Has he been back to the University for which he has an offer.

The boy I mentioned went down to Bristol post results for another look, which confirmed to his mum that his heart really was not in it. He went on a year later to have a really good time at UCL both socially and academically, winning some very impressive award at the end of it.

I’d love that Stoney, there do seem to be a lot of us this year.

Thank you and I’m so pleased for your boy too.

My DS has always wanted to live in London so this feels right for him (but very expensive) .

Not my place to comment, but why not a London thread, a bit like the Oxbridge one. There will be plenty of overlap on things like second year accommodation and what can be a fierce workload. With different pressure points, particularly second year exams.

@SeaofTranquility - I can relate to your DS dilemma as DC was there a few years ago. Also had been pooled but rejected and went on to get all A stars. They did reapply and were successful - really thrived at Cambridge, didn’t find the work too taxing; had a full on social life and involvement in loads of societies and came out with a first and in top 3 of cohort. I say this only to prove the randomness of the Cambridge selection process - so much depends on the interview on the day.

In terms of reapplying, the way I (personally!) would look at it is this -

It’s probably only worth the risk of reapplying if they have perfect grades. This is because in STEM over half of students actually in the uni will have achieved all A stars and in humanities over a third. So applying with all A stars in hand you are positioning yourself in the top half (STEM) or top third (humanities) of those actually there (hope that makes sense).

Between his last application and next Oct, has he done anything ‘extra’ to make his application stand out - eg, essay competitions , school prizes - anything like that?

A tutor said to me that if a student is going to reapply (and many do successfully), basically don’t give them a reason to turn you down! If they have perfect grades AND something like an essay competition win / commendation, subject prize or something else ‘standout’, they probably have a good chance with a fair wind at interview. They will expect a bit more of post A-level applicants - they will be comparing them to the students they’re actually teaching. Also, they will want to hear a clear plan for the gap year.

I hope this helps to think things through. I don’t know what subject he’s applying for though (sorry, should have asked as essay comps etc may not be relevant if it’s STEM).

Good idea @Needmoresleep
I will set one up in a mo and invite people.

Thanks 🙏, just joined on other thread.

@tryingtoenergise Thanks so much for sharing and the advice, it's definitely helped to think things through. It's for a STEM course.

@Needmoresleep I'd argue a degree from LSE is just as prestigious as one from Oxbridge!
@Jaxx my DD initially thought Durham was 'Oxbridge lite' - historic but not so much, collegiate but not quite the same... like it was a pretender. That going there would just remind her of what she missed out on. But I gave her a bit of a talking to, saying Durham for many was their dream school, and it was a bit much her thinking it's Cambridge or else it's not worth it.
Not getting an offer certainly wasn't her first disappointment in life (didn't get in to the sixth form she wanted, didn't get on the Art Foundation year she hoped for, lost her Dad young, MS diagnosis two weeks before start of A levels...), but maybe that's why she thought Cambridge might make up for some of that. She couldn't have done better at her exams (she was PQA). But their loss and now Durhams gain. She has come round - a year out definitely matures them - and she's now eager to get in to the library and start work! She got her first choice college too 😁.
Well done everyone and enjoy the last few weeks of summer!

I agree!

Things have changed in a decade, on this board as much as anywhere. I started posting here partly because I was slightly shocked at the way some posters were running down Universities like Imperial, based mainly on hearsay and their perceptions of what University should be. Our DC are very lucky that Oxbridge is not the be all and end all, and it seemed important to also relay the positives even thought at times I became a bit of a cheer-leader. The fact that there is now a separate London thread is a sign things have changed.

I remember meeting other parents at end of sixth form events. International parents tended to be really positive, "great school", whilst British parents acted as if not getting into Cambridge was akin to a death in the family. 10 years on and things have changed. Fewer are getting into Cambridge, more are going to the US and elsewhere, and London is seen as an achievement.

DS loved LSE. He liked being surrounded by people who wanted to live and breathe economics. That was the common ground so school background, nationality or ethnicity did not figure. Friends came from all over. His dad, who went to Oxford, would have liked him to be somewhere with more breadth. But I am not sure he would have taken advantage. Academically I don't think there was any difference. And London has the advantage of being at an international cross roads so all sorts of people pass through.

Good luck to all the DC, wherever they are going. .

Also good luck to your daughter in particular. She sounds very resilient. It is a pity she has had to be.

There is a lot to be said for longer terms, both for learning and socialising. And plenty of very bright students at Durham.

@mondaytosunday they are all different - he hated his interviews and has said he was relieved when he got the expected rejection as it was clear the tutorials system wasn’t for him. It is not that he thinks Durham is Oxbridge lite more that it has more of the good bits than the bad. With hindsight i don’t think he would have applied at all if it wasn’t for the strong encouragement of me, his dad and his teachers.

Double rejection here for DS1...what a hellish ride it's been!
He missed Step.(got a 3 instead of a 2) and despite meeting the grades part of the offer, Imperial rejected him. He is going for a review of the marks only because for 2 suvjects he was 3 marks off an A star....but he is mainly resigned to the fact he will go to Durham. Still in shock aboit his rejection....and his grades as he was expecting 4 A stars.

Anyway. Durham will be great for him amd I am sure he will see that. Bonus points he will be very close to home as well!!! And it will be cheaper....every cloud and all of that. He just has to get over the whole thing and get closure....

Really sorry to hear this @Travelban. Step adds another layer to an already brutal process unfortunately. There were a couple of missed step Cambridge offers at ds school and I really felt for them. Durham will be an amazing experience and certainly cheaper.

@Lightsabre thank you so much for your kind words... it's brutal isn't it. I hope you are right, he seems to be voming round to it a little.....

DDs friend who missed her Cambridge offer by one grade got pooled and got in 😊 DD seems actively pleased for her too which is good.

Would oxbridge consider a retake. My son missed his English Lit exam by one grade. If he was to retake that subject and apply again or should he focus on moving on.

TBh @Frazzledmum239 Id encourage him to move on - I don’t know how it works but I imagine to reapply hed have to declare the grades he already got even if retakes were in progress and that would pretty much disqualify him from getting another offer… I’m here to tell you there is a pretty fantastic life to be had if you don’t go to Oxbridge and it’s just not worth getting hung up on the what ifs

Frazzledmum239, would agree about moving on as your ds would be competing against those with higher grades, i.e those reapplying who have achieved higher (than predicted) grades. Then there is the new cohort who are applying with "perfect" predicted grades.

If he got an offer and missed a grade (assume you had a review/remark) then I can totally understand the disappointment but Oxbridge do over offer as know many will underachieve grades.

My ds had top predicted & achieved grades but won't reapply as he believes he can move on and have a great Uni experience elsewhere.

Incidentally his friend who got an offer (with lower predicted, lower achieved grades & lower admissions test score) is now worried about the hot house study environment. He will of course be completely fine but he realises what he (more his parents) has signed up to.

@Frazzledmum239 You don’t say whether your DS planned a gap year or not? If he did, then I would say reapply. I’m assuming you’ve had the papers reviewed and his marks haven’t gone up? As others say above he would be competing against those who were unsuccessful first time round post interview who already have 3/4 A stars as well as those predicted this and applying for the first time. It also depends on subject . There are FOI requests you can look at that give information on success of reapplication dependant on subject and college.