Yr 13 DD head in sand

[Tara24]

DD has no idea what she wants to do . She says she regrets her A level choices and wishes she had done better at her science GCSEs. She refuses to visit universities and hasn't started her personal statement.

I've tried everything I can think of to help, but it ends in an argument.

The school have a careers guidance person who has spoken to her, but no change.

I'm at a loss. I've suggested a gap year or just applying for a general type degree to keep options open. She just says she hates studying but she also says she wants to go to university. 🤔

Anyone had one like this? Please give me hope.

That’s great, I would imagine she feels a lot calmer simply by making that list, hope so..hope it all goes well

It’s good she’s feeling better about it. It’s an overwhelming time, hard to take just one thing at a time and accept you can only move forwards, not back. We would have been in this situation with DD, I’m certain, if inspiration hadn’t suddenly struck (courtesy of a YouTube recommendation of all things).

On the ‘being behind’ thing … DD beat teenage me to university by a year (I stuffed up A levels and went at 19). DH restarted so graduated at 22. DD’s friendship group of 7 had 4 start last year while 3 start this year. Look at WIWIKAU on Facebook and you’ll see post after post of young people having a second stab at uni or, sadly, dropping out already. Uni is a wonderful time when you stop progressing along in neat age cohorts and shunning anyone even a year younger or older! DD has found it unexpected and quite weird (in a good way) to have friends who are ‘like, 27’ 😁

Hi there,

i don’t think this position is as unusual as one would assume, it sounds to me as she could do with a bit of worldy experience. Although I knew what I wanted to study, I opted for a gap year, I had a deferred place at Lancaster. Having travelled and worked for a year I ended up with a much better feel for what I wanted out of the next three years of my life! although I stuck with the same course an ended up reapplying for Imperial. I genuinely think I would have been miserable at Lancaster. If she’s really unsure, I’d be adamant that she takes the year out - being one year behind is really nothing and much better than being “on track” in terms of timeline but in the wrong place doing the wrong thing.